The following took place at 2:13 pm at the Kedron Kroger in Peachtree City, Georgia:
I finish checking out and walk toward the automatic doors to exit Kroger, trying to avoid the loud-looking lady manning the D.A.R.E. booth strategically placed right next to the exit. The loud-looking lady eyes me eagerly and jumps in front of the aforementioned automatic doors.
LLL: Hello there! Can I have a moment of your time?
Me: Sure, I guess.
LLL: Are you familiar with D.A.R.E.?
Me: Yeah sure, that's when the one kid challenges the other kid to do something they wouldn't normally do.
LLL: Yes... well, I meant the school program D.A.R.E.. Do you have any little ones?
Me: Not since the accident.
LLL: Oh, I'm so sorry. What kind of accident?
Me: Abortion.
LLL: Oh, funny... well you see...
Me: There's nothing funny about abortion ma'am.
LLL: Oh, um, well, yeah... anyway...
Me: Don't worry ma'am, I used my kroger plus card at the clinic.
LLL: I see. Well, never mind then sir...
Me: Wait... how much are you selling the shirts for?
LLL: Oh... the D.A.R.E. shirts are normally $25, but there's a special today. 2 for $35.
Me: Oh wow. That's kinda hefty. It's almost cheaper for kids to just buy drugs.
Okay, so only some of that is true... mainly the part about jumping in front of the door and the price of the shirt, but don't you wish you could say stuff like that to those people? I guess I shouldn't be so critical... keeping kids off drugs is generally a good thing...
Did you actually throw out the abortion comment? You crazy, yo!
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