Dear cute blond girl in my neighborhood who almost took off the front of my car with your Porsche,
I know blond and blind are only one letter apart, but you had to have seen that stop sign. I know that a sign with so many sides is perplexing, but my poor little car can't handle a wreck with a bike, much less your tricked out birthday present. I know you think you can get away with pretty much anything because you're pretty, but I've got news for you... I'm free this weekend, so like, we should hang out, cuz I think you're cute... and I like your car.