Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Hurricane Naming Procedure

I feel bad for people who share their name with hurricanes. The poor men/women/Hall of Fame pitchers/Pink Ladies named Sandy probably feel terrible about having the same name as the recent fatal superstorm. Why do we even give hurricanes normal names? It's not a baby or even a pet; it's a natural disaster. I propose that a change be made in the hurricane naming procedure. We can still go down the alphabet, but we should name the storms something a little more heinous. Here are some suggestions for decidedly more evil names for future hurricanes:

Hurricane Autocorrect
Hurricane Brangelina
Hurricane Crocs
Hurricane Diet Pepsi
Hurricane Emo Kids
Hurricane Fried Okra
Hurricane Gigli
Hurricane Hitler
Hurricane Inside-Joke-You're-Not-A-Part-Of
Hurricane Jeter
Hurricane Kicked-in-the-Shin
Hurricane Loitering
Hurricane Misspellings
Hurricane Nicki Minaj
Hurricane Overcooked Steak
Hurricane Pre-season NFL Football
Hurricane Quantam Leap's Final Episode
Hurricane Root Canal
Hurricane Slavery
Hurricane Taxes
Hurricane Unnessecary Movie Sequels
Hurricane Voldemort
Hurricane WNBA
Hurricane X-Men 3
Hurricane YOLO
Hurricane Zipper Malfunctions