tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87199348312727686682024-03-01T10:13:20.080-05:00The Kids Are AightBy David HammockAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.comBlogger222125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-49764198578103010462014-02-18T19:04:00.000-05:002014-02-21T19:05:05.983-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: UPS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQrxFA4uW0pFM1G-daJ8-7n-SYs3J7bhZzSGIEH22UnD6EXnjR9crLXK_ZYXvPAMQ99_Fwu8buLDwQeDEC0VH-zrsU8BPeQNz90eZLClMaCzSVnw7nVbWiFoEuBPPq6m_AgydukkYVMbA/s1600/ups.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQrxFA4uW0pFM1G-daJ8-7n-SYs3J7bhZzSGIEH22UnD6EXnjR9crLXK_ZYXvPAMQ99_Fwu8buLDwQeDEC0VH-zrsU8BPeQNz90eZLClMaCzSVnw7nVbWiFoEuBPPq6m_AgydukkYVMbA/s1600/ups.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">What can Brown do for you? More like, "what CAN'T Brown do for you?" UPS employees deliver by truck, plane, train, car, even bike... and they do it all while wearing those oh-so-becoming brown shorts. Whether you want </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">it shipped same day, next day, or in 3-5 business days, the United Parcel Service has you covered. In fact, UPS transports 15 million packages per day. 15 million! That's more deliveries than an obstetrician at a Mormon hospital! So, happy Black History Month, UPS... thanks for always being a company we can count on to deliver.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-7403644380790597612014-02-17T19:03:00.000-05:002014-02-21T19:03:32.444-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Allen Iverson<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4klHBl9uaj7SKwnbvpUBYTQTT5B_yvaqRPzdPk3aR5lgAHWmJVLD5rzVsI8re4j8Vax1y8m0XmBr7PtOgAey63TePoofTzPLI-mhjmLF68kcfP1JbEKkySTRJExB_63NL_v3LmtsODOA/s1600/iverson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4klHBl9uaj7SKwnbvpUBYTQTT5B_yvaqRPzdPk3aR5lgAHWmJVLD5rzVsI8re4j8Vax1y8m0XmBr7PtOgAey63TePoofTzPLI-mhjmLF68kcfP1JbEKkySTRJExB_63NL_v3LmtsODOA/s1600/iverson.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Let's get one thing straight, Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever. Don't let anyone get cute and tell you otherwise. If LeBron was really the best, he woulda bee</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">n in Space Jam. Now that that's settled, let's talk about one of my favorite players ever, Allen Iverson. AI did so many things well: he scored at will, he led the league in steals every year, and he had the best cornrows in the NBA. Of course, there were some things he didn't do so well: rap, manage money, show up to practice. But we ain't talking 'bout practice, we talking about Black History Month and during BHM, we focus on the good things. We focus on the lightning quicks, the stellar handles, the epic press conferences, the throwback in-between game, and the fact that a 6-foot tall guard was the greatest scorer of his generation. With that said, does AI deserve some BHM honors? I think you know The Answer.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-21723573133862378352014-02-16T18:59:00.000-05:002014-02-21T19:00:23.414-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Timothy Miller<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1YjnunJ7vJVJMXkE9R5XsOjcaIPV8x4C5MBIxTbSxbbGPzyZAdpqlGXPrwkbdtvEEtcrJY1XUtyxmFcWnmv5d1E-Ocness7b1sZpiTdG1oE5g8OW5rMTFi5FPteOwT88OrAwAYXYpNus/s1600/timothymiller.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1YjnunJ7vJVJMXkE9R5XsOjcaIPV8x4C5MBIxTbSxbbGPzyZAdpqlGXPrwkbdtvEEtcrJY1XUtyxmFcWnmv5d1E-Ocness7b1sZpiTdG1oE5g8OW5rMTFi5FPteOwT88OrAwAYXYpNus/s1600/timothymiller.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Every Atlanta Braves fan knows there's only one guy you can count to deliver a flawless performance every single time he steps on the diamond at Turner Field: Timothy Miller. Timothy Miller is a classically </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">trained Operatic Tenor who sings "God Bless America" at every Sunday home game, much to the delight of fans, players, broadcasters, viewers, and that mascot with the giant baseball head. His deep, rich voice can both punctuate a great day at the ballpark and make us forget that our team strikes out more than Screech Powers, Steve Urkel, and Carlton Banks combined. Here's to hoping we can lock down Timothy Miller in a long-term deal like we've done with Freeman, Teheran, Kimbrel, and J-Hey. Go Braves!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-6114921571471212362014-02-15T18:58:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:58:58.700-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj109U_eCgLikt4SOLGDHH37xLRfzPAOM4I9N0UN1DbtOAQzy-TCZusKzNMDHk6ul2KIl1LxLc6AvzoUgqqQ4DgBnEXIVWjgOoPT685puFYiqHT6VhOztiaCg7iqeE1n5ixyzdcv2R0z80/s1600/me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj109U_eCgLikt4SOLGDHH37xLRfzPAOM4I9N0UN1DbtOAQzy-TCZusKzNMDHk6ul2KIl1LxLc6AvzoUgqqQ4DgBnEXIVWjgOoPT685puFYiqHT6VhOztiaCg7iqeE1n5ixyzdcv2R0z80/s1600/me.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">This is my 100th Black History Month profile and I feel that makes me a bona fide black historian. I'm certainly not black -- I'm snowman pale, I can't dance, and I can barely dunk on an 8-foot basketball goal -- but I </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">do I think I've got at least a little African-Americred. I grew up in an all-black neighborhood, I know all the words to Whoomp There It Is, and I think I might have said "shawty" once. Now, I'm not saying I'm as worthy a BHM honoree as, say, George Washington Carver or Steve Urkel, but I do think that my four years of highlighting lesser-known black heroes is admirable in its own way. Certainly as admirable as anything a certain black US President has accomplished during the past four years. Easy digs like that aside, I'm proud of my little collection, and I'm grateful that it has resonated with at least a few of the people with whom I've shared them. I've enjoyed writing these profiles every year and it's hard to imagine not continuing to write them in the future. I guess it's true, once you go black, you really can't go back.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-64138191567359452952014-02-14T18:57:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:57:12.319-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Future Slam Dunk Contest Champ <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXa0hGr0Na8FuLkMdQDscg1LSU1r1drXItXSxBx2sac1XuRVEkwtawZd4OXD2EvdCBJBThmTxo1_XabqLPROhQZf39Ghqb_8DuCwANipv-0CTiC3oJu9pxTiFzWlCbfcMsdIjoY5IXglQ/s1600/futureslamdunkwinner.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXa0hGr0Na8FuLkMdQDscg1LSU1r1drXItXSxBx2sac1XuRVEkwtawZd4OXD2EvdCBJBThmTxo1_XabqLPROhQZf39Ghqb_8DuCwANipv-0CTiC3oJu9pxTiFzWlCbfcMsdIjoY5IXglQ/s1600/futureslamdunkwinner.PNG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I don't know who you are yet, but based on past winners, there's a 97% chance you're black. Yes, only one white guy has ever defied the odds/gravity and won the most prestigious award that d</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">unking has to offer... and that win was more sham than slam. Whitey's winning dunk "from the free throw line" was more like "from kinda close to being in the vicinity of the free throw line." Just further proof that white lies CAN be detrimental. No such worries this year, however, as every slam dunk participant is African-American... as it should be. Tomorrow night we'll discover your identity, but thanks ahead of time for the amazing dunks. (You may be wondering why I chose to highlight basketball on Valentine's day. It's because love and basketball go well together, just ask Omar Epps.)</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-58891855939667206592014-02-13T18:55:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:55:43.998-05:00BHM Honors 2014: DMX<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxUgnWKTN3kQ3AVAnhS6HSh_SS1h-njfeuj-7iEz2JY99ly1DfE81HWBkX9Kw69Kb4leuKFurFFuHm_0bhHqTHfTT4ZOAmrVhoVp5BqFjSeKcID9mEcr-aS6_eNj6QEeW58PiUBVTHzb8/s1600/dmx.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxUgnWKTN3kQ3AVAnhS6HSh_SS1h-njfeuj-7iEz2JY99ly1DfE81HWBkX9Kw69Kb4leuKFurFFuHm_0bhHqTHfTT4ZOAmrVhoVp5BqFjSeKcID9mEcr-aS6_eNj6QEeW58PiUBVTHzb8/s1600/dmx.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Y'all gonna make me lose my mind if you don't think DMX deserves some Black History Month honors. A rapper AND an actor?! There just aren't that many people out there who can do both. You know, besides Drake, Gucci Man</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">e, Ludacris, Eminem, Will Smith, 50 Cent, Queen Latifah, Xzibit, The Game, Big Boi, Andre 3000, Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, Ice T, Vanilla Ice, Mos Def, Marky Mark, LL Cool J, Ja Rule, Tupac, Common, Tyrese, T.I., and most of the Wu Tang Clan. And none of those guys were in a film the caliber of Cradle 2 the Grave. Talk about your Oscar snubs. Anyway, the best thing about DMX isn't his rapping or acting ability, it's that he's such a giving person. Whether it's money, a ride, or just advice, you can bet that X gon' give it to ya. Happy BHM, DMX, you definitely deserve a spot up in here, up in here.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-49842010283310647112014-02-12T18:54:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:54:32.197-05:00BHM 2014: Martin Luther King Jr. Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLI4Wgrs8IwoA9iSOGYuxiJYSxjTt_V71lKh4gIxnl1cvH3dmTc121sCWsfh6zAysKDhNA9LaCLBPV6Oxn8cjLm_GiPhEDl8WMTMh7sJ-StAkQX8qdNyuU2GPtNN1PhC_56TvJwUzYdx8/s1600/MLK+Day.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLI4Wgrs8IwoA9iSOGYuxiJYSxjTt_V71lKh4gIxnl1cvH3dmTc121sCWsfh6zAysKDhNA9LaCLBPV6Oxn8cjLm_GiPhEDl8WMTMh7sJ-StAkQX8qdNyuU2GPtNN1PhC_56TvJwUzYdx8/s1600/MLK+Day.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I have a dream that my future children will one day live in a nation where they can miss more than one day of school each year because of a black person. Until that day, at least we have Martin Luther K</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">ing Jr. Day to look forward to each year. The third Monday of every January, grateful kids, teachers, and government employees get a well-deserved break from school and work. But why stop there? There are plenty of other African-Americans for whom I'd gladly miss a day of work. Some such African-Americans include: well, just about anyone. You'd have to be a pretty terrible individual for me to not want to take a day off work on your behalf. That's why I find it hard to believe that some people are still opposed to MLK Day; I mean, regardless of how you feel about Dr. King, who doesn't like a three-day weekend? I know I do. The haters can hate all they want, but every third Monday in January, I'm shouting "free at last, free at last; thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!"</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-87121524472017425002014-02-11T18:51:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:53:26.422-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: NOT King Arthur<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgBvQTv7PXpzr9nfrZ82kaTHL7TH6Z3YysgVGsQiyhPqmvhEwdySvSbD72ekYsHpzbHQ7VoVwWLqe-2Kkq-eiD4-FNw32ZHHFdrikZO8CS2T8zTPmS2HFm5WeGDOtDK-Gn2SMYCuYDuN0/s1600/kingarthur.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgBvQTv7PXpzr9nfrZ82kaTHL7TH6Z3YysgVGsQiyhPqmvhEwdySvSbD72ekYsHpzbHQ7VoVwWLqe-2Kkq-eiD4-FNw32ZHHFdrikZO8CS2T8zTPmS2HFm5WeGDOtDK-Gn2SMYCuYDuN0/s1600/kingarthur.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sure, King Arthur did some noteworthy things. He pulled that sword out of that stone, he searched for the Holy Grail, he fought courageously in many a battle, but tell me: why weren't there any brothers on </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">the Knights of the Round Table? It's not like there weren't any worthy black knights. There was Sir Jamal of Compton, Sir Malik of Detroit, and Sir Mix-A-Lot of Nastymix Records. How about a little Arthurmative Action? It's no wonder Camelot's basketball team didn't win a game during Arthur's reign. In fact, the only black things mentioned in Arthurian times are black magic and the Black Plague. Not exactly flattering. Get it together, Pendragon. In the end, it's Arthur's loss. If there had been a little less Anglo and a little more blacks in England, there's no telling what could have been: more slain dragons than a Game of Thrones marathon; more rescued princesses than in the first three installments of Super Mario Bros combined; more victorious lances than a who's-the-gayest-member-of-N*Sync contest! While that last part may be a bit of a stretch, it's not a stretch to say that Mr. Pendragon simply wasn't a friend to the black man. The name King Arthur may be etched in the annals of European History, but this is BLACK History Month, Your Highness, so your name just doesn't mean-a-lot.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-24462589849142063412014-02-10T18:47:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:47:44.049-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Popeye's, Church's, & Bojangles' Chicken<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ywAq6KPJ-wRoKndSgXO2iA8R6gqV0lXaGWkmFqLyCwqCPib_zI3QSVqOl7yLtQf1OqdLfJ6ssLMcJpJB7IlXTqF0X0OcKg7eVKC_yJ3OmLTiJvsHsq8EwAB9l2UA2RuywiBwtufL3Rw/s1600/friedchicken.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ywAq6KPJ-wRoKndSgXO2iA8R6gqV0lXaGWkmFqLyCwqCPib_zI3QSVqOl7yLtQf1OqdLfJ6ssLMcJpJB7IlXTqF0X0OcKg7eVKC_yJ3OmLTiJvsHsq8EwAB9l2UA2RuywiBwtufL3Rw/s1600/friedchicken.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">In the spirit of orange soda, watermelon, and being good at sports, affinity for fried chicken is another black stereotype that needs to be embraced. Fried chicken is delicious! Now</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> am I saying that EVERY black person likes fried chicken? Pretty much. But so does almost every white person. I'm jealous that my race doesn't get a fine stereotype like this. I'd gladly trade "can't jump" for the rights to buckets of thighs and drumsticks. So you're darn right chicken joints like Popeye's, Church's, and Bojangles' are getting some BHM love. Those places have been bringing together light and dark people and light and dark meat for decades. Happy Black History Month, chicken shacks... you're all finger-lickin' good!<br /><br />(Why no KFC? Because it's just not right to have Colonel Sanders anywhere near a BHM celebration... regardless of how many secret herbs and spices he may have.)</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-88942174704551289552014-02-09T18:45:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:45:44.499-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Black Parts of Crossword Puzzles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXiQcg2-Mh-h70DWNBN_UGkp4ThkfbY03Q0lrYk0vGWpEZk-l5czj10XAg-lXjkkYmloO4FmOyQVXwplRlizi5DRTo_tWCBKxeQVS95hFbqMnqBVWLyYmlEJHz3JBT6GNabEIKiE8IK24/s1600/unnamed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXiQcg2-Mh-h70DWNBN_UGkp4ThkfbY03Q0lrYk0vGWpEZk-l5czj10XAg-lXjkkYmloO4FmOyQVXwplRlizi5DRTo_tWCBKxeQVS95hFbqMnqBVWLyYmlEJHz3JBT6GNabEIKiE8IK24/s1600/unnamed.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Every day during my third year of college, my friend Tom and I would try to complete the New York Times Crossword Puzzle during our incredibly boring Atmospheric Science class. We never did</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">. You would think during one of those 90-minute sessions we would have been able to piece together all the clues, but no dice. Why? Because of all those darn white squares. No, I don't know who starred in the first silent movie. No, I don't know the former capital of Uzbekistan. No, I don't know who wrote the Cliffs Notes version of Moby Dick. I thought it was Cliff, but it's 7 spaces long and starts with a V. We never finished because we just didn't know enough to fill in all those little white squares. Know what we didn't have trouble with? The black squares. Those tiny, dark spaces were little freebies strewn across the perplexing grids. It's as if the black spaces said to us, "Hey guys. We know you've been trying hard. Let us take over for a little while. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the fact that we collectively look like little Tetris pieces." Sigh, I know I speak for Tom when I say I so badly wanted to finish just one puzzle for those little bastions of respite, but it never happened. Thanks anyway, little already-filled-in black spaces, for holding it down... and across.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-47137765304970656242014-02-08T18:41:00.000-05:002014-02-21T18:41:41.782-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Orange<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyBW0hH6EHQBHXUdy5i7FJFsGKW-2A2h2J87DGmKLhQgGNSqvwRmtmbgt1uFznlMnqBgDHuZwp8ISReF5LMeiNGkSugbEkOZZ0MRB0s4PsCZSwvbHFzWc_6YlW7682ixA6ut1_nKyJWVY/s1600/orange.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyBW0hH6EHQBHXUdy5i7FJFsGKW-2A2h2J87DGmKLhQgGNSqvwRmtmbgt1uFznlMnqBgDHuZwp8ISReF5LMeiNGkSugbEkOZZ0MRB0s4PsCZSwvbHFzWc_6YlW7682ixA6ut1_nKyJWVY/s1600/orange.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I don't know it came into being, but according to Netflix, orange is the new black. I'm not sure Netflix is the supreme authority on color palettes (I think that's either Crayola or Bob Ross), but since Netflix did </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">revive my favorite show, Arrested Development, last year, I figure I'll let it slide. Thus, I'd like to wish a happy Black History Month to the following:<br /><br />Jack-o-lanterns, basketballs, carrot sticks, carrot juice, Carrot Top, the University of Tennessee, white women who visit the tanning bed too often, Oompa Loompas, traffic cones, Creamsicles, Tigger, Amy Adams' hair, 1/3 of candy corn, Home Depot, and Sunkist.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-1371530368070128552014-02-07T18:04:00.001-05:002014-02-07T18:04:16.663-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Justin Bieber<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf4yqDqBjJ04Q9sqAbr94KuIu-K0-Gwoy-n4A8-cyiOuVP6iE5dMXdYG7gd0_7S73-QGN1h2XboBPMpPx6g6VqRKn9HV9NX2SN4hQixKqCj268jYZYA6flDrFXlrLpAHvaJUJoWxYjlsc/s1600/photo.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf4yqDqBjJ04Q9sqAbr94KuIu-K0-Gwoy-n4A8-cyiOuVP6iE5dMXdYG7gd0_7S73-QGN1h2XboBPMpPx6g6VqRKn9HV9NX2SN4hQixKqCj268jYZYA6flDrFXlrLpAHvaJUJoWxYjlsc/s1600/photo.PNG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The first time I heard Justin Bieber on the radio, I didn't hate it. I also didn't think he was white. Or male. I quite honestly thought he was a 12-year old black girl. "That's sweet," I thought, "this young lady is singing about her baby." Turns out I was very wrong. The Biebs may not be black, or a girl, but he is on a predominantly black record label and definitely has some R&B flair, so much like his ridiculous haircut, we're gonna let it slide. You gotta give it to him though; he can sing, he can dance, he makes girls swoon... he does it all. Of course "all" includes wearing absurd clothing, posting obnoxious tweets, and drag racing while drunk. That's okay though, tools have their place in this world... I mean, who else would willingly say swaggy on the radio? So to all you folks who thought you'd never see Justin Bieber associated with Black History Month, I have this to say: never say never.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-67601947091190268652014-02-07T17:24:00.001-05:002014-02-07T17:24:10.650-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Rap Dads<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPyBmfsWkawSK3ZnL-qTKZaN_6ZKi_5rvyjOSUUhwt5glSNq6uYwxDluHlzK1ld1Fvw_yWQf4F22xzI2VabPNUZPbuv342QCZ7uqTvy_YyUkW9GuNR0dndFlmOHuBNWGz-gbt7vkCsAAs/s1600/send+from+InstaText(Free+iPhone_iPad+App).png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPyBmfsWkawSK3ZnL-qTKZaN_6ZKi_5rvyjOSUUhwt5glSNq6uYwxDluHlzK1ld1Fvw_yWQf4F22xzI2VabPNUZPbuv342QCZ7uqTvy_YyUkW9GuNR0dndFlmOHuBNWGz-gbt7vkCsAAs/s1600/send+from+InstaText(Free+iPhone_iPad+App).png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Great father-son relationships are a cornerstone of the rap community. Behind almost every great rapper is a loving, supportive, financially-responsible dad. Today, I'd like to honor some of the extraordinary thin</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">gs fathers have done for their rapper sons:<br /><br /><b>Big Wayne</b> - As ill as Lil Wayne claims to be, his dad must have had to stay home from work an awful lot to take care of him.<br /><br /><b>Andre 2999</b> - He taught 'Dre to always apologize for his mistakes. You're welcome Ms. Jackson. I am for real.<br /><br /><b>Soulja Man</b> - He taught Soulja Boy never to hop up out of bed without first turning on his swag. Great advice.<br /><br /><b>Old Jeezy</b> - Thanks to his dad's tutelage, Young Jeezy is very good at identifying colors. Our President IS black... that Lambo IS blue.<br /><br /><b>P. Grandiddy</b> - Even though Puffy claims to be a bad boy for life, the fact that he dated J. Lo for so long proves that the elder Diddy taught him a ton about patience.<br /><br />So thanks Rap Dads, for raising your sons to be talented rappers... and for being far better people than Dance Moms.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-74653629230864505202014-02-07T17:21:00.003-05:002014-02-07T17:21:49.285-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: BET<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioLotXsijmaZkYS2cjm3agNk_YkeAalBGUUqfPnU-0TGWpilZO7VrZZ_MuE5jVW03F9lMMS4276qeuSVZx7criLCfUEDJiOX8-1YIS_cBGnAW4Jzodl0R44yWLqy3PgbeDIhnS0Lg3WUE/s1600/1601092_10100791887268489_1295356610_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioLotXsijmaZkYS2cjm3agNk_YkeAalBGUUqfPnU-0TGWpilZO7VrZZ_MuE5jVW03F9lMMS4276qeuSVZx7criLCfUEDJiOX8-1YIS_cBGnAW4Jzodl0R44yWLqy3PgbeDIhnS0Lg3WUE/s1600/1601092_10100791887268489_1295356610_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Wanna see the latest hip-hop music videos? BET's got you. Wanna watch a four-hour block of Martin reruns? BET's got you. Wanna watch Soul Plane every day for a month straight? BET's got you! Black Entertainment Televis</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">ion delivers the biggest and blackest the entertainment industry has to offer. Home to everything Wayans, Winans, and Will Smith, BET never drops the ball (just the bass) when it comes to satisfying that fix for all things crunk, fly, dope, ham, and swag. You think those whities over at USA are gonna show Moesha reruns? Child please! So does BET deserve to be honored this Black History Month? You BET it does.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-55941896826437072772014-02-07T17:20:00.003-05:002014-02-21T19:12:08.540-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Snoop Whatever<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUQywgP8RenCWyFWCd35TxWUj6AymOIEC7pHuv3RIwpVdSMYIopNCETwsiq6aMbuE85kVb84nXwo3lPttQv9-6iQ60t5FA3HKKUIGML4pCzUgsLTOwk47WvcYTWH8hVWkmDInJivy5X58/s1600/1551753_10100791481806039_894089672_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUQywgP8RenCWyFWCd35TxWUj6AymOIEC7pHuv3RIwpVdSMYIopNCETwsiq6aMbuE85kVb84nXwo3lPttQv9-6iQ60t5FA3HKKUIGML4pCzUgsLTOwk47WvcYTWH8hVWkmDInJivy5X58/s1600/1551753_10100791481806039_894089672_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;" /></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Snoop Doggy Dogg/Dogg/Lion has accomplished some pretty remarkable things in his lifetime. One, he's managed to have a career spanning 20+ years in the music industry without ever singing or playing an instrument</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">. Two, he's become immune to the legal system. Dude does drugs like every single day and possibly murdered a man and pretty much just gets away with it. Three, he speaks in a nonsensical language full of nizzles and rizzles and the world embraces it. Inconceiveabizzle! I don't care how much drama's in the LBC, it's pretty good to be Snoop D-O-double-G. The only problem Snoop seems to have is sticking with a name. He ditched his given name, Calvin Broadus Jr., in favor of Snoop Doggy Dogg, then dropped the Doggy because, yeah, that's better. Last year, he opted to drop the dog motif like it was hot and changed his name to Snoop Lion because... remember all the drugs? One can only imagine what Snoop's name will be this time next year (my money's on Snoopapotamus), but the fact remains he still churns out the hits, still gets that money, and does it all with a certain ease and charisma that's kind of admirable in a warped kind of way. So a happy Black History Month to you Snoop Dizzle... you ain't beautiful, but I want you to know, you're my favorite dogg.</span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-92118240541138636992014-02-07T17:17:00.002-05:002014-02-07T18:05:00.268-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Colored Pencils<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXo-q6uPeUUC9O4dwgxAsYEoGygLqTsLOxTsU4aNJfJAVxtKmp7QjrVgEXEx85jIWpWIeuF7f3cFYQKkHh1nJ4kYKI4h6mhI_C9f1ggLaG3xPUpUkyagI2jE6izbVn33bw5x8Uf3OaIo4/s1600/1513660_10100790579379509_1081761013_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXo-q6uPeUUC9O4dwgxAsYEoGygLqTsLOxTsU4aNJfJAVxtKmp7QjrVgEXEx85jIWpWIeuF7f3cFYQKkHh1nJ4kYKI4h6mhI_C9f1ggLaG3xPUpUkyagI2jE6izbVn33bw5x8Uf3OaIo4/s1600/1513660_10100790579379509_1081761013_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">It's easy to think that things have always been peaches and crayola for colored pencils, but they actually have a very, well, colorful past. Colored pencils were once thought to be beneath other types of pe</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">ncils. Regular pencils had the better bathrooms, water fountains, and many civil writes that colored pencils weren't allowed. Luckily, the world is a more open-minded place today and colored pencils are no longer banned from expressing themselves in all their prismatic glory. (Except on standardized tests.) So happy Black History Month colored pencils... know why regular pencils are #2? Because you're #1, that's why!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-26296037917357113692014-02-02T00:00:00.000-05:002014-02-07T18:05:26.169-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: Brown M&Ms<div style="font-family: Baskerville, 'Playfair Display', 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1.5em;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSHB7VvkbRiBEniUXs5Lj_Lmm7U72C0IfkqV53RQzXOEOSDKUFYkccHHKCyU_T-IQU29j2xNe9GLT4L8oIe46S4SU6OgqSoKDYhSIwg2wZ4Z5BGjyPJJEqKcffLsFUwNU1SeKILUu79zQ/s1600/brownmms.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSHB7VvkbRiBEniUXs5Lj_Lmm7U72C0IfkqV53RQzXOEOSDKUFYkccHHKCyU_T-IQU29j2xNe9GLT4L8oIe46S4SU6OgqSoKDYhSIwg2wZ4Z5BGjyPJJEqKcffLsFUwNU1SeKILUu79zQ/s1600/brownmms.png" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 1.5em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When ranking the most ethical candies, M&Ms are pretty low on the list. They're colorful and they're delicious, but they're round, little liars -- except for the brown ones. Unlike the more vibrant M&Ms, brown M&Ms never try to fool you with their coating; they have the decency to give you a preview of what's inside -- more brown. Not the other colors. There's no telling how many snacks/lives have been ruined by red M&Ms who would have the eater believe there's some sort of cherry or strawberry filling inside their candy shells. But not brown. Brown M&Ms have too much integrity to be something they're not -- too much pride to go all Skittle like the other colors. That's why I, like Matthew McConaughey in the Wedding Planner, only eat the brown ones. Thanks brown M&Ms, for not sugar-coating it.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-49142961802477190612014-02-01T00:00:00.000-05:002014-02-07T18:05:15.505-05:00BHM 2014 Honors: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeuR1zeVCSZwL386aW2Kzl1M0N2G6tS8ZfDHu84pop9EF1mudgFvGZz_dM_g0p0KKiZSZk2Z0GSEp_36P8CrDUiL3iyWJOunLq_NNslao1FBsNkMMDg-4bhFlfiHrK94U_clqC2j38KLo/s1600/freshprince.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj89TEPQrnWwI7QtsTlHNXYl367BGGq-PgCr5bJfRgP-5L34Krt2QEbKex0R2oQTUiTolWy2ru0f-E1btBS2VBbIHeIgRkAl79xebi4CPYZmFblYoG79VB2ldFYv1z4Mosogd3RojqAUvs/s1600/photo+3.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj89TEPQrnWwI7QtsTlHNXYl367BGGq-PgCr5bJfRgP-5L34Krt2QEbKex0R2oQTUiTolWy2ru0f-E1btBS2VBbIHeIgRkAl79xebi4CPYZmFblYoG79VB2ldFYv1z4Mosogd3RojqAUvs/s1600/photo+3.PNG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now this is a story all about how</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A show helped me fit in in town</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'll tell you how I became a fan of a show called Bel Air</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In West Riverdale I was born and raised</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">On the sofa is where I spent most of my days</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The hood kids were black, didn't think I was cool</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So I was stuck watching TV alone after school</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then I saw this one show and I thought it was good</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So did all the black kids in my neighborhood</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I quoted one little line <span data-mce-style="color: #888888;">and</span> the kids all stared</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Said "Dave I didn't know you were down with Bel Air"</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I whistled the theme song, the kids all cheered</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">They said that I was fresh, I didn't know that they cared</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If anything I thought they thought I was weird</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But now they thought different, all thanks to Bel Air!</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We. Played. Outside my house till like seven or eight</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then I yelled to my friends, "Yo guys, see you later!"</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I had finally done it, I was finally there</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was part of the hood. Thanks Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-47605429551080258712013-12-24T10:00:00.000-05:002014-01-08T05:01:48.915-05:00Hipster Santa 2013<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Don't call it a comeback! Hipster Santa returns to spread holiday irony, apathy, wit, and cynicism. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I</span></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">sn't that cool? Well, he thought it was cool before you did.</span></span></b></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKSUuwyyFYtyR45lrCT5Fw4gaIMMyFrOlsFyNGmAWoYhdYajCA8fuqtZ-eQ0JJwoGlgElqpPDjOhvZH7trw_WpCDnHqtANxixF5JfwxgBg142r9PuNRBgNvWF7Kf3AB7s1R_qFXx-N10M/s1600/1507964_10100738058611549_1153837406_n+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKSUuwyyFYtyR45lrCT5Fw4gaIMMyFrOlsFyNGmAWoYhdYajCA8fuqtZ-eQ0JJwoGlgElqpPDjOhvZH7trw_WpCDnHqtANxixF5JfwxgBg142r9PuNRBgNvWF7Kf3AB7s1R_qFXx-N10M/s320/1507964_10100738058611549_1153837406_n+(1).jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa has an apathetic attitude toward jingling as well as ring-ting-tingling. He does, however, like politics -- he's a card-carrying member of the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgalWLyvp5Ta7qyyqx5kPbMMIW9cC9jOzEqAarhg7WECI256TVl6H3S2TAwhTkykJ-BHkadi-L4WG_Sd8tHNymIc7ipOsfJl1VagnV7vuzrfUlGBby7q0Me3uHBRhglfWPgwGUD1DQb07s/s1600/400574_10100740196691819_1210851059_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgalWLyvp5Ta7qyyqx5kPbMMIW9cC9jOzEqAarhg7WECI256TVl6H3S2TAwhTkykJ-BHkadi-L4WG_Sd8tHNymIc7ipOsfJl1VagnV7vuzrfUlGBby7q0Me3uHBRhglfWPgwGUD1DQb07s/s320/400574_10100740196691819_1210851059_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa remembers Elmo before he went all mainstream. Back in the day, Elmo would have never allowed The Man to tickle him. Guess the money changed him. Not Hipster Santa... he refuses to be part of the system.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimCGjiQMcKBmBv9MWSrzyUNnmp80GyTMxI_fyvSx53Q1Vo5it_B7b_9jXbCQAPz5zl2PnbhXgSewGGkgQ7wLbkjHB2vnM0cLr4YcGc6TLW4O_VtoRTXoULVI83cywxz828Fxq-QzKtFSY/s1600/1475781_10100744377643159_1804532445_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimCGjiQMcKBmBv9MWSrzyUNnmp80GyTMxI_fyvSx53Q1Vo5it_B7b_9jXbCQAPz5zl2PnbhXgSewGGkgQ7wLbkjHB2vnM0cLr4YcGc6TLW4O_VtoRTXoULVI83cywxz828Fxq-QzKtFSY/s320/1475781_10100744377643159_1804532445_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa doesn't follow mainstream sports like football, basketball, and hockey. He only likes sports that no one cares about, like figure skating and New York Mets baseball.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjKa-NwT1Wzn6fcHkMzQFImOvNUYWEkpZKa2459_al3G-slLv_eb-mK53guuTYP_yx2XUS_g826EDbPwqSR7m4J64PoWohcixnbDDMrRxm25lDVVbMotlnN_iNIpyKN_Xdd2mg4WAMMaQ/s1600/1476112_10100739641384659_681198426_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjKa-NwT1Wzn6fcHkMzQFImOvNUYWEkpZKa2459_al3G-slLv_eb-mK53guuTYP_yx2XUS_g826EDbPwqSR7m4J64PoWohcixnbDDMrRxm25lDVVbMotlnN_iNIpyKN_Xdd2mg4WAMMaQ/s320/1476112_10100739641384659_681198426_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa never knew his father, but who needs a dad when you have every Elliott Smith record on vinyl?</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYRhm3b6E8LTdx927DAteyNPs03ZVRKvbECpWMB9DhOvRUFbEMRrKY1CtldWr4R4OIY8_4PLob1nwFdDMOIPnW8awSIb3XAxEv14wNv85gDvYsbq5ceSAU-mGeaPt2NQ7sN7JCrXRrvA/s1600/1496701_10100746229701619_527203357_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYRhm3b6E8LTdx927DAteyNPs03ZVRKvbECpWMB9DhOvRUFbEMRrKY1CtldWr4R4OIY8_4PLob1nwFdDMOIPnW8awSIb3XAxEv14wNv85gDvYsbq5ceSAU-mGeaPt2NQ7sN7JCrXRrvA/s320/1496701_10100746229701619_527203357_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa has a style all his own and American Apparel is his store of choice for all his wardrobe needs. American Apparel just so happens to be the store of choice for all other hipsters too... all of whom shopped there before the other. Not to brag, but Hipster Santa shopped there most first.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-7wC8RSx3Sceom-M8XustDfajxPfYtAEiYig35ZOfPZ4D1YL9o34s5J2Nv0Dz06LmS7SyyEWP6NyqN4Q11_c19k98Z7kNVkkFIBLtG_D2axSGf7TwnGjr1cfCmE_t19RjjgakWA1ArTU/s1600/1499424_10100739049031739_1563956699_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-7wC8RSx3Sceom-M8XustDfajxPfYtAEiYig35ZOfPZ4D1YL9o34s5J2Nv0Dz06LmS7SyyEWP6NyqN4Q11_c19k98Z7kNVkkFIBLtG_D2axSGf7TwnGjr1cfCmE_t19RjjgakWA1ArTU/s320/1499424_10100739049031739_1563956699_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Trayvon case deeply affected Hipster Santa... much more so than it affected you. Now he's extremely involved in the gentrification of the North Pole.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_seSYDPSiK7NUQRVAYKq1BN0Oww4EAFMQ0te9IziCLh6URaAFddI8F0QjEsl5u0jJ_aDGz1QDncTaBt550MbdI_F7hiC_9R1TV3FKhix569guqhp-ZX5gzesGCErq8_dF39K8P__P-7I/s1600/1507963_10100743491239519_228610322_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_seSYDPSiK7NUQRVAYKq1BN0Oww4EAFMQ0te9IziCLh6URaAFddI8F0QjEsl5u0jJ_aDGz1QDncTaBt550MbdI_F7hiC_9R1TV3FKhix569guqhp-ZX5gzesGCErq8_dF39K8P__P-7I/s320/1507963_10100743491239519_228610322_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"type":45,"tn":"*G"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px; outline: none; text-align: left; width: auto;" tabindex="0"><span class="hasCaption"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa would tell you his favorite bands, but you've probably never heard of them. Ho ho oh, what the heck... he likes Death Sled For Cutie, Christmas Eve 6, North Interpol, Cookies Milk Hotel, LCD Snowsystem, Elf Elf Cool J, Sleet Foxes, and Hanson.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="fbPhotoPagesTagList" id="fbPhotoSnowliftPagesTagList" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 14px;">
</div>
<div class="pts fbPhotoLegacyTagList" id="fbPhotoSnowliftLegacyTagList" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 14px; padding-top: 5px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWuHkEUybWFll7bRgeqkQVZLHwK7Ir4diV5kpbo6rS3GPIresyevta151DJonN6ivdEqYfAoWUQ6UNgXgjlZ-Q036JMsLVkl0RClLKh7KMonrOC6PC1kTNYDjvEsFYpXMiYqm5snkuPpk/s1600/1518126_10100749403750799_728607674_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWuHkEUybWFll7bRgeqkQVZLHwK7Ir4diV5kpbo6rS3GPIresyevta151DJonN6ivdEqYfAoWUQ6UNgXgjlZ-Q036JMsLVkl0RClLKh7KMonrOC6PC1kTNYDjvEsFYpXMiYqm5snkuPpk/s320/1518126_10100749403750799_728607674_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa is aware of the current controversy over his skin color, but he honestly doesn't know if he's black or white -- he's too tolerant to notice things like that.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDuGSrJMdOKI6PvPNuGH6oDeAzAa0VTImwZVLsT5LX2WMHuOPELde-_-mhccQA43uskrzjmDQA5PvjNbAoincfb3AEVFAAfgn7-njz1gUkLDsgDX-83IxPO1RVZI5SizCKwiyzEpwkO0U/s1600/1390663_10100747760224439_327173589_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDuGSrJMdOKI6PvPNuGH6oDeAzAa0VTImwZVLsT5LX2WMHuOPELde-_-mhccQA43uskrzjmDQA5PvjNbAoincfb3AEVFAAfgn7-njz1gUkLDsgDX-83IxPO1RVZI5SizCKwiyzEpwkO0U/s320/1390663_10100747760224439_327173589_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hipster Santa doesn't touch that generic stuff. If it's not from a microbrewery, it gets a lump of coal.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-6104917791665860992013-11-27T07:00:00.000-05:002013-11-27T02:43:45.596-05:0010(+) Things I Hate About UGA: 2013 Edition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTi2tFOLlCvzo-NdfFHolMvfJTLDXfDxM1kgCxZW1hGiGj9y56VZtA5m1BgIuD44DwM7tndKfpOBRr7nr0iiOObFEBUjC_WxmWftUpodNvPARdeuMmuApiHRIw25l8lq7qefL3DJ4uGZs/s1600/THWG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTi2tFOLlCvzo-NdfFHolMvfJTLDXfDxM1kgCxZW1hGiGj9y56VZtA5m1BgIuD44DwM7tndKfpOBRr7nr0iiOObFEBUjC_WxmWftUpodNvPARdeuMmuApiHRIw25l8lq7qefL3DJ4uGZs/s400/THWG.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hate Week presents some problems for me. It's a challenge to balance my intense hatred for UGA with my inclination to not to be a total jerk. Part of me thinks it's in the spirit of the rivalry to bash the other school, while the other part realizes the inherent hypocrisy of degrading a school because I find its fans so... degrading. Maybe it's irrational to think the two sides of me can coexist... but what's college football if not irrational? In that spirit, I would like to present this year's version of my annual Hate poem. Georgia fans, I simultaneously apologize and hope it stings:</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>10(+) Thing</b></span><span class="" style="display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><b>s I Hate About UGA</b><br /><br />I hate the way your fans all bark; you're not canines, you know?</span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="" style="display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I hate the way you misspell dogs; there's no A, it's an O<br />I hate how if your players went to Tech, they'd never pass</span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="" style="display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I hate how at your school, one of the majors is Turfgrass (it's true, <a href="http://students.caes.uga.edu/undergraduate/majors/turfgrass-management.cfm">look it up</a>)<br />I hate how you call Tech kids nerds; okay, it's kinda true</span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="" style="display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But us nerds have four titles and you Dogs only have two</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I hate how in recruiting, your school's the top banana</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I hate how y'all love Athens, but you all live in Atlanta</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I hate that in the war years, the Tech wins are contested</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I hate how every season half your players get arrested</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="" style="display: inline; line-height: 18px;">I hate the hedges, Hairy Dawg, and I hate black and red<br />I hate your drooling mascot; does it know that's it's inbred?</span><span class="" style="display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">But I think I could get past these things, these UGA shortcomings</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I can deal with Aaron Murray; I admire Gurley's running</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">But there's one thing I can't get past, and that thing's in the stands</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">The thing ALL people truly hate: obnoxious Georgia fans</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">GO JACKETS! THWg!</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-29715881340932504402013-09-05T17:36:00.001-04:002013-09-05T17:36:25.632-04:00First and Tension: The NFL Gets Offensive<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.islamtimes.org/images/docs/000016/n00016478-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="http://www.islamtimes.org/images/docs/000016/n00016478-b.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a>If you follow sports at all, you've probably heard about the controversy surrounding the team name of the Washington Redskins. Many Native American activists find the term "redskin" to be racially insensitive. Now, I'm not a Native American (aside from the 1/16th Cherokee that every white person in America seems to be) so I don't know how the term would make me feel. What I do know is that almost anything can be offensive if you allow it to be. Here a look at how each of the other 31 NFL franchises are offensive in their own ways:<br />
<br />
<b>Atlanta Falcons:</b> Insensitive to penguins, ostriches, kiwis, and other flightless birds... and to humans, most of whom also can't fly. The city of Atlanta itself is offensive to the descendants of one William Tecumseh Sherman, whose ancestor worked tirelessly 150 years ago to burn the city to the ground.<br />
<br />
<b>Arizona Cardinals:</b> Offensive to Protestants, Jews, and other non-Catholics as well as Musketeers and lower-ranking members of the Catholic church. Arizona itself is offensive to anyone who enjoys temperatures in the double digits.<br />
<br />
<b>Baltimore Ravens:</b> Annoying to Miss -<span style="font-family: inherit;">Symon<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">é, who, thanks to Baltimore, must pretend to be impressed and flattered by the plethora of fantasy football teams named "That's So Ravens."</span></span><br />
<br />
<b>Buffalo Bills</b><b>:</b> Offensive to Misters Clinton, Cosby, Murray, and Nye the Science Guy, who would prefer not to share their first name with a team that lost four straight Super Bowls.<br />
<br />
<b>Carolina Panthers</b><b>:</b> Wait, how come no one is offended by a team who shares a mascot with a <a href="http://kamaraappleton.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/black-panther-party-psd23429.png">militant socialist organization</a>?<br />
<br />
<b>Chicago Bears</b><b>:</b> Offensive to husky, gay men and Stephen Colbert.<br />
<br />
<b>Cincinnati Bengals</b><b>:</b> Insulting to house cats, who would like a more <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bengal_(cat)">accurate representation</a> of a Bengal as the <a href="http://www.sports-logos-screensavers.com/user/CincinnatiBengals.jpg">team's logo</a>.<br />
<br />
<b>Cleveland Browns</b><b>:</b> Everyone feels too sorry for the Cleveland Browns to be offended by them.<br />
<br />
<b>Dallas Cowboys</b><b>:</b> Hurtful to cowgirls, cowmen, and cowwomen, who feel neglected by the team name. The city of Dallas is offensive to those who prefer the show Dynasty.<br />
<br />
<b>Denver Broncos</b><b>:</b> Insulting to anyone who think OJ got off easy -- which is everyone -- including OJ. Also offensive to Land Rovers, Escapes, and Grand Cherokees.<br />
<br />
<b>Detroit Lions</b><b>:</b> Irritating to Simba, Nala, Mufasa, and the rest of the lions of Pride Rock, who feel they are better at football than the Detroit Lions -- except for Calvin Johnson.<br />
<br />
<b>Green Bay Packers</b><b>:</b> I got nothing here. The name Packers couldn't possibly be construed into anything offensive.<br />
<br />
<b>Houston Texans</b><b>:</b> Galling to the populations of all 49 other states who are sick and tired of being told not to mess with Texas. We get it, it's a large state and "mess with" and "Texas" kind of rhyme -- how wonderful for you.<br />
<br />
<b>Indianapolis Colts</b><b>:</b> Surely the <a href="http://www.americansportscollectibles.com/images/helmets/ind-colts-revolution.jpg">horseshoes on their helmets</a> are offensive to animal rights activists -- no respectable colt would be caught dead wearing such hideous footwear.<br />
<br />
<b>Jacksonville Jaguars</b><b>:</b> I'm pretty offended by those new <a href="http://nesncom.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/jaguars-helmet.jpg?w=614&h=461">two-toned helmets</a> of theirs.<br />
<br />
<b>Kansas City Chiefs</b><b>:</b> Offensive to Native Americans? Nope. Offensive to grammar lovers who treasure the "I before E except after C" rule.<br />
<br />
<b>Miami Dolphins</b><b>:</b> Offensive to no one. Dolphins are adorable.<br />
<br />
<b>Minnesota Vikings</b><b>:</b> Biased against Viqueens.<br />
<br />
<b>New England Patriots </b>- Upsetting to Loyalists of King George. Also offensive to any team who does not like having their closed practices illegally taped.<br />
<br />
<b>New Orleans Saints</b><b>:</b> Offensive, but not very defensive. Also unsettling to those who don't like to have their ACLs destroyed by linebackers after the whistle.<br />
<br />
<b>New York Giants</b><b>:</b> Neglectful to little people who would very much like an NFL team named after them, though they do dominate TLC programming.<br />
<br />
<b>New York Jets:</b> Disrespectful to the New York Mets, whose rhyming team name is the original benchmark for futility on the field.<br />
<br />
<b>Oakland Raiders:</b> A little confusing as to why no one opposes to naming a team after a group of marauders. It honestly is weird which team names come under fire. I can see Redskins being offensive because that particular term has a negative connotation, but what's with the heat on teams named the Chiefs, Braves, Indians, etc. Those aren't negative, they're just... groups of people. Raiders, on the other hand, are bandits, burglars, thieves, and scoundrels, which aside from describing the city of Oakland fairly well, isn't the most enlightened of team names.<br />
<br />
<b>Philadelphia Eagles:</b> Hated by fellow Philadelphia franchise, the Phillies, who are envious that Eagles players are equipped with helmets with which to protect themselves from the constant barrage of bottles, batteries, and other projectiles hurled their way by Philly fans.<br />
<br />
<b>Pittsburgh Steelers:</b> Disliked by descendants of the Rockefeller and Vanderbilt families.<br />
<br />
<b>St. Louis Rams:</b> Misogynistic toward ewes. The city of St. Louis is also offensive to those who are flat-footed.<br />
<br />
<b>San Diego Chargers:</b> Discourteous to those who prefer to pay in cash.<br />
<br />
<b>San Francisco 49ers:</b> Dismissive of pioneers who took part in the Silver Rush in 1843, the Bronze Frenzy of 1847, and Pewter-Palooza 2010.<br />
<br />
<b>Seattle Seahawks:</b> You would think Airhawks would be offended by not being chosen as the Seattle mascot, but as always, it's those Sandhawks who are really whining about it.<br />
<br />
<b>Tampa Bay Buccaneers:</b> See: Raiders, Oakland.<br />
<br />
<b>Tennessee Titans:</b> Offensive to greek gods who worked hard to defeat and control the giant race.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-22432842556207406292013-08-22T00:00:00.000-04:002013-08-22T15:00:32.026-04:00Who Let the Dogs In?It seems like stories about "rescued" dogs or dogs that need "rescuing" are taking up an increasing amount of space on my Facebook and Twitter feeds. "Rescue" has become the watchword for dog lovers, but I've found that my definition of rescue is quite different than theirs.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="199" src="http://firstknowwhatyouwant.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/iStock_000002337513Medium.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="200" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's easy to wanna rescue this guy...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Here's what I picture when I think of someone rescuing a dog:<br />
<br />
<i>A dog and a man go skydiving. After jumping from the plane, the dog's parachute doesn't open. Apparently the dog didn't pay attention during the mandatory training course because it's not even reaching for its emergency chute. Realizing the dog is in peril, the man darts down, grabs the dog, pulls his own ripcord, and holds the dog until they both land safely on the ground.</i><br />
<br />
<b>OR</b><br />
<br />
<i>A woman stands in the middle of a long hallway. At one end sits an adorable puppy. At the other end stands Michael Vick. The woman sprints and scoops up the puppy, somehow outrunning the fleet-footed, dog-abusing quarterback down the hall. Still on the run and about to get caught from behind, she launches the puppy through an open window and safely into the arms of Sarah McLachlan, who happened to be standing outside... and singing Angel.</i><br />
<br />
<b>OR</b><br />
<br />
<i>At long last, a dog-loving housewife has booked an appointment for her and her Pomeranian to see Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer. Halfway through the session, Cesar reveals he's actually a Cylon and, in addition to wanting to kill all humans, wants to also rid the planet of canines. The housewife somehow evades the Cylon, hurries home, watches the entire Battlestar Galactica series on DVD, learns how to kill Cylons, drives back to Cylon Millan's office and takes him out, saving the Pomeranian's life.</i><br />
<br />
Those are some terrific examples of <i>rescuing </i>a dog.<br />
<br />
The following is an example of the "rescue" stories I read online:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I saw a dog in the park and he didn't have a leash so I was like "OMG, this dog is homeless. I gotta rescue it." So I coaxed him into getting into my car with a dog treat and took him home, but my husband is allergic to dogs so I can't keep him. Can someone please rescue this poor pup? He's super cute and only 150 lbs and even though he doesn't exactly understand the difference between dog food and human flesh, he's a sweetheart... as long as you don't get him around other dogs... sometimes he eats other dogs. So please rescue this sweet puppy before my husband goes into anaphylactic shock and dies. Me and BWAAAAAAAARG would really appreciate it! :) </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
P.S. - I named him BWAAAAAAAARG after the cute sound he makes when he's chasing my toddler around the house. lol</blockquote>
<br />
Sadly, that's not even that much of an exaggeration. A good half of the rescue stories I see on Facebook are people who take home strays, realize they can't keep it, then try to pawn the dog off on someone else. I understand dogs can be cute and it's great to have a sympathetic heart and to want to help animals, but you can't just take in every sad-looking puppy you see on the street.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.runnersworld.com/sites/default/files/meandogssep200_0.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.runnersworld.com/sites/default/files/meandogssep200_0.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... but what about BWAAAAAAAARG?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I've got good news though -- you don't have to!<br />
<br />
Dogs happen to be animals and animals happen to be... wild! This means they don't need humans to take care of them. They can feed themselves. They can find their own shelter. They can even get exercise by running around on their own... without a leash! Pets are pets for the owner's sake, not for the animal's. Animals could get along fine without humans -- I mean, have you seen DuckTales or Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers? Sure, maybe without you as an owner your dog might start hanging with the wrong dog crowd, pick on innocent little cats, and blow his shot at getting into a good dog school, but it would find its way.<br />
<br />
Obviously, I'm not much of a dog-person, but I'm not really this heartless. I know dogs can be fun, loyal pets and I think it's great that dog lovers enjoy their dogs. Still, the whole "please rescue this dog" thing is getting pretty tired. Dogs can fend for themselves, be happy on their own, and sometimes even solve crimes with a gang of meddling kids -- they rarely need to be rescued.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-39445765413351128112013-08-12T00:02:00.000-04:002013-08-12T17:53:33.410-04:00Sports: A Love Story<i>This is my 200th entry in this blog. After 2+ years of Black History, Hipster Santa, and lots of randomness, I decided to mark this occasion by writing about something near and dear to my heart: sports.</i><br />
<br />
It's easy to become disillusioned with anything, even something you love. I love sports, but with all the steroids and money and illegal activities and egotism and media involved, even someone like me, who truly enjoys sports, can get a little cynical. When the best players are cheaters and the best teams are the ones with the most money and the best programs are the ones that "recruit" the best, it's not hard to fall out of love with sports -- and sometimes I almost do -- until I realize one important thing: that's not what sports are all about.<br />
<br />
I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to letting ESPN cloud my perception of sports. Watching sports television can quickly make you lose sight of the essence of sports and view it as an unfeeling business full of overpaid clowns. Even though that's not a completely inaccurate description, it is an incomplete one. The essence of sports is competition and hard work and will and overcoming adversity and all that good stuff you can find on a motivational poster. It's corny, it's cliche, but it's true.<br />
<br />
Though it's fun to watch LeBron James dunk over a defender, or see Miguel Cabrera launch a 450-foot home run, or witness Tom Brady throw a 60-yard touchdown pass, that isn't what sports are to me.<br />
<br />
It's spending weeks breaking in your glove until it feels like an extension of your own hand.<br />
<br />
It's not leaving the gym until you hit five jumpers in a row.<br />
<br />
It's getting hit so hard that it actually feels good.<br />
<br />
It's catching a ball in the gap that you didn't think you had a snowball's chance at getting to.<br />
<br />
It's knowing the basketball's going in as soon as it leaves your hand.<br />
<br />
It's when scrappy and persistent defeats talented.<br />
<br />
It's turning the ball over, then hustling back to make a play on D at the other end.<br />
<br />
It's the chubby guy struggling to run a mile on his neighborhood streets, but never quitting.<br />
<br />
It's the undersized kid that works and wills his way into the starting lineup.<br />
<br />
It's playing your heart out, not just for you, but also for your teammates.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
It's beating my dad in one-on-one after hundreds of losses and knowing it's the first time he's glad he lost at anything.<br />
<br />
It's a million personal, intangible moments you experienced on the practice court or the playing field that aren't just memories, but part of who you are.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I ask myself questions like, "why does it matter so much to me that the Braves win?" When you get down to it, it's just a bunch of grown men playing a game. I think it's because, at some level, everybody on that team and every athlete on any team also loves sports. They could read this story and know exactly what I'm talking about, how I feel. They were also kids who liked the smell of the diamond and the feel of the bat in their hands. They're like me, just way better at baseball.<br />
<br />
Call me crazy, but I think God loves sports too. I honestly believe He put that spark inside us that fuels competition and drives us to be better, to endure, and to overcome. It's like Olympian Eric Liddell says in <i>Chariots of Fire</i>: "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." I think loving sports is embracing something God put inside of me and I honestly feel that, in a way, sports can give us a better understanding of the Lord -- and that's something worthy of a 200th blog post.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-54166939683864902122013-08-08T18:33:00.000-04:002013-08-08T18:33:43.818-04:00HateSong<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.imgur.com/9miap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://i.imgur.com/9miap.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
The other day I stumbled upon a series the A.V. Club is doing called HateSong. Essentially, the website invited writers, comedians, and musicians to contribute little blurbs about a song they hate and why. There was a piece on "Thrift Shop" by a father who dislikes the song because it has inspired some awkward questions from his children; one about "Semi-Charmed Life" by a music producer who had an unpleasant personal encounter with Third Eye Blind; and one concerning Katy Perry's "Firework" by a comedian who, well, just seems to hate everything.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrXvynEjvafU7w2VRf1Aa5x7OBZtGlYnjHrrhTNr2rdwMb6Kj3_7mJDE1V1Lq3mrGGRJ5fHVZTClPMYtVI2ntFSZzooftnxPbnZQwPIqM6YbYalw7YzpjJ2szEgKT_flW6i3eqKxEwM4Md/s1600/Katy-Perry-Fireworks-FanMade.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrXvynEjvafU7w2VRf1Aa5x7OBZtGlYnjHrrhTNr2rdwMb6Kj3_7mJDE1V1Lq3mrGGRJ5fHVZTClPMYtVI2ntFSZzooftnxPbnZQwPIqM6YbYalw7YzpjJ2szEgKT_flW6i3eqKxEwM4Md/s200/Katy-Perry-Fireworks-FanMade.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't listen to that mean man, Katy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I don't dislike any of those songs. I liked "Thrift Shop" fine the first 200 times I heard it. I think Third Eye Blind is actually an underrated band and singling out all the subtle drug references in "Semi-Charmed Life" is a favorite pastime of mine. And don't get me started on Katy Perry -- anyone who knows me will tell you I have a great affinity for all things Teenage Dream, including "Firework." Still, it was fun reading about why these guys hated these songs and it got me thinking about what my HateSong might be.</div>
<div>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/66/Don't_Stop_Believin'.jpg/220px-Don't_Stop_Believin'.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="188" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/66/Don't_Stop_Believin'.jpg/220px-Don't_Stop_Believin'.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not a fan of the 80s. Believe it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I toyed with the idea of picking John Mayer's "Your Body Is a Wonderland," but I decided I like some of his other stuff enough to where I didn't want to do that. I also thought about "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey, but that might incite a riot from the millions of people who <strike>only know the first few lines of the song and sing it loudly then taper off until it gets to the part about cheap perfume, then taper off again</strike> love the song. I could pick just about any country song, but I would have a hard time picking just one and anyway, this isn't HateGenre, it's HateSong. Finally, I settled on the offender:<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>"Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis</i><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">
I went big and picked the #1 single of 2008 as my HateSong. I think many of the songs we end up hating are ones that we liked to some degree initially, but grew old as we heard them too often. This isn't the case with Bleeding Love -- I never liked it. I'm not exactly sure what it is about the song that rubs me the wrong way, but it does. Maybe it's the constant bleeding or the overexposure or the alliteration of the artist's name -- who knows? Maybe if I break it down, I can make like Summer Sanders and figure it out.</div>
<i>Maybe it's the lyrics</i>. Bleeding love -- what does that even mean? I don't think it's a good idea to bleed anything, even something as pleasant and reputable as love. And when you are bleeding, it's probably a good idea to close the wound, not sing about it... repeatedly. Still, lots of song lyrics don't really make sense. Jimmy Eat World has a song about bleeding ("Bleed American") and I like it despite its ambiguous, blood-related lyrics, so it's not that.<br />
<br />
<i>Maybe it's the singing</i>. I'm not the biggest expert on pitch and tone and all that stuff the American Idol judges are always harping on, but it seems to me that Leona Lewis is a pretty talented singer. Just in case, I googled here (wow, that feels dirty when you type it) and it turns out that she won the UK version of The X-Factor, so I guess that eliminates any doubts of her talent. (I also found out that she's black, which worries me. I wouldn't want anyone to think this is a HateSong Crime.)<br />
<br />
<i>Maybe it's associative</i>. Maybe I was in a bad mood the first time I heard the song and I dislike it because I associate it with that memory. Sadly, I don't remember when I first heard Bleeding Love and can't relate it to any bad time in particular. I guess we'll never know -- unless I can get my hands on a time machine and go back in time to the first time I heard the song. Of course, I could also use the time machine to prevent the song from ever happening-- and to warn myself not to draft Ryan Braun in the first round of fantasy baseball this past year.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.papermag.com/blogs/jesse_mccartney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.papermag.com/blogs/jesse_mccartney.jpg" width="153" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The McClincher</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So what is it about Bleeding Love that makes me turn the station every time it comes on the radio? It's not the singer, it's not the lyrics, it's not association. Is it possible to just not like something for no reason at all? Maybe. But I decided to resort once again to Google, this time to look up the song itself. That's when I saw it: the reason I hate the song.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Jesse McCartney.</div>
<div>
<br />
I can't believe that kid and his beautiful soul being are responsible for one of the biggest hits of the last decade. You're already a famous, good-looking singer and actor, you don't get to be talented too. I think, on some level, I could tell Jesse McCartney wrote Bleeding Love... and I think maybe that's why I hate it. Regardless, Bleeding Love will forever be on my bad side -- and never on a single one of my mixtapes.<br />
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8719934831272768668.post-284009280403436042013-07-30T08:00:00.000-04:002013-07-30T16:39:49.518-04:00Most Beautiful<img height="400" src="http://x8a.xanga.com/a47e3b1b21734284980977/m227423413.jpg" width="289" /> <img height="400" src="http://spiritwaterblood.com/pix/beyonce-peoples-most-beautiful-woman-2012.jpg" width="302" /><br />
<br />
<br />
A few months ago, People Magazine named Gwyneth Paltrow the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn't know publications could just do that. You know, technically this blog is a publication. Can I make hegemonic, wide-sweeping declarations too? I declare I can. Here are some declarations from The Kids Are Aight:<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Girls Scout Cookies are now a food group. They replaced dairy on the food pyramid. Sorry rest of the world, I know you'll miss your milk, but I'm lactose intolerant. Recommended servings are two Tagalongs, three Samoas, and a good turn daily.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Ke$ha is now Kesha. No more dollar sign for you -- we're in the middle of a recession.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>No more obscure U.S. capitals. Sorry Albany, Sacramento, and Austin; you've been replaced by New York City, Los Angeles, and Dallas. You're welcome 4th grade Geography students.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The designated hitter is no more. Sorry American League, now you're gonna have to play real baseball.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>No more paying for vowels on Wheel of Fortune -- they're free -- we're in the middle of a recession.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>No new Adam Sandler movies. Sorry Adam -- maybe I'll let you make Billy Madison 2 if you promise to be funny again.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Gas is $1.00. Not sorry, OPEC.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
Sadly, this blog is not People Magazine. I lack whatever power they possess that turns subjectivity into objectivity. I actually don't mind the whole People's Most Beautiful thing, but I do have one inquiry: why does the "Most Beautful Woman" change every year? Last year it was Beyonce. I could understand the switch to Gwyneth Paltrow this year if Beyonce had died or become horribly disfigured or something, but she looks pretty much the same. How did Gwyneth pass Beyonce in the rankings? Did Coldplay get better critical reviews than Jay-Z last year? Did Shakespeare in Love's Academy Award get shinier? Is Beyonce's body too bootylicious for ya, <strike>babe</strike> People Magazine? Whatever their methods, they're still better than the BCS -- talk about meaningless titles and subjectivity.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05537839552957692446noreply@blogger.com0