Monday, July 11, 2011

Black History Month in July: Part I

Black History Month Great Black Person #1 of 28: Erby Walker

Erby worked at the The Varsity from 1953-2008. He provided the city of Atlanta with chili dogs, onion rings, PCs, and pretty much just straight up happines for over 50 years. Erby is proof that whether you're black or white, there's only one color that matters... Frosted Orange.
 Black History Month Great Black Person #2 of 28: Shredward Cullen

Shredward is a Petal legend and a role model to African-American office appliances everywhere. He's the kinda guy who's always there for you, especially when you need something torn into tiny strips. He's shredded papers, folders, notecards, cans, tupperware, cds, and rulers, all with a servant's heart. I am truly blessed to have such a great machine in my classroom. I love you, Shredward Cullen.
Black History Month Great Black Person #3 of 28: Domino Fruscione

Domino is one of my very favorite pets in the entire world. After a rough kittenhood, Domino shed his slave name of Jafar when Anthony Fruscione adopted him. Though abandoned by his catmom, Domino has gone on to excel in jumping, climbing, running, playing parachute, playing backflip, and letting people touch his tenders. Though rambunctious, there is truly not a more submissive cat on earth. Domino, african-american hero.

Black History Month Great Black Person #4 of 28: Aunt Jemima
Racist? Maybe. Delicious? Absolutely. Aunt Jemima pancakes and syrup were a staple in the Hammock household growing up. For some, the spokeswoman is a negative stereotype, but for me, Aunt Jemima is purely positive. In the mornings, Aunt Jemima greets me with a warm, loving smile... unlike those asinine cereal characters, always telling you how grrrrrrreat their cereal is. Aunt Jemima doesn't need to boast, she lets her food do the talking. Thanks for all the years of delicious hotcakes, Aunt Jemima.
Black History Month Great Black Person #5 of 28: half of Drake

Half black. Half Jewish. All Canadian. One can learn a lot from the multi-cultural, multi-talented Drake. As an actor in Degrassi, Drake taught me not to mess with the school outcast, or you'll get shot. As a rapper, he helps me learn... the square root of 69 IS 8 something... rosetta stone IS a powerful tool for learning a new language. Most of all, Drake teaches us all to take some time out to just to live life, mane. It's not hard to find your love, Drake... it's right here. Hey. Hey. Hey.