Thursday, July 14, 2011

Jonathan Aprati Facts

Jonathan Aprati is a good friend of mine. He's an architect and more talented than you or I ever could hope to be, but you'd never know it cuz he's also more humble than you or I could ever hope to be. So a few years ago, at the height of the Chuck Norris Facts craze, me and a few of my friends decided to make a list of Jonathan Aprati Facts to celebrate our selfless friend. These facts tend to focus on his architectural skills and his being a Georgia Tech student, so they might not make sense to everyone, but hopefully they're ubiquitous enough to where everyone can enjoy them. (Aprati taught me the word ubiquitous. Unfortunately, he didn't tell me how to use it in a sentence, so there's a pretty good chance I butchered it.)

Jonathan Aprati’s blood type is A+

Jonathan Aprati's favorite number is 4.0

Jonathan Aprati doesn't sketch houses, he simply stares at the paper and they become blueprints

Jonathan Aprati doesn't believe in Athens

Jonathan Aprati can cover Calvin Johnson

Jonathan Aprati shot the sheriff AND the deputy... AND 50 Cent

Jonathan Aprati doesn't need to spend 5 hours in studio... he just does it to make sure the rest of them get their work done.

The wall sculpture in the front of the arch building was modeled after Jonathan - in the fifth grade

The naked man on the front of the Architecture building isn't artwork; it's the last streaker to disrupt Jonathan Aprati's studio

Jonathan Aprati just finished the 11th book on Architecture. Take that, Vitruvius

James Bond has a license to Jonathan Aprati's services. Hollywood shortened it to "license to kill"

Jonathan Aprati was once challenged to a fight by Jack Bauer and Jackie Chang at the same time. Of course, he beat bolth of them

Jonathan Aprati built Rome in a day

Steroids only make Jonathan Aprati weaker

Jonathan Aprati looked a basilisk in the eye... so what? It’s just a stupid snake

Jonathan Aprati can tell the Olsen twins apart... but chooses not to

Jonathan Aprati hates Raymond

Jonathan Aprati touched M.C. Hammer

Jonathan Aprati built the house he was born in

Macgyver is loosely based on Jonathan Aprati's first encounters with a toy lego set.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Jonathan Aprati was obviously not involved in designing or constructing those buildings.

Many suicide attempts result from leaping off a high building. In order to commit suicide from one of Jonathan Aprati's buildings, one need only to attempt to reach the top

Jonathan Aprati created the "stud finder" device, calibrating it to his own DNA

The campanile is a to-scale model of Jonathan Aprati's... talent

As a freshman, Jonathan Aprati stole the entire tech tower and left the t, just to be kinky

The recent additions to Bobby Dodd stadium increased capacity to 55,000. If Jonathan Aprati had been in charge, the capacity would be China

One time Jonathan Aprati walked onto the Agnes Scott campus... the Indigo Girls haven't sold an album since

Jonathan Aprati nailed every good-looking girl on the whole tech campus... it was the best night of her life

Jonathan Aprati walks down freshman hill, both to and from class

Jonathan Aprati knows the words to the Georgia Tech alma mater

Im Pei dresses up as Jonathan Aprati for halloween

Jonathan Aprati once spent 63 straight hours in studio... this beat his previous low of 71

In studio, Jonathan Aprati only uses a # 2 pencil... to remind the utensil who's # 1... Jonathan Aprati, that's who

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Girls go to Mars to get more candy bars. Jonathan Aprati goes to studio to get more work done

Jonathan Aprati was on The Bachelor, but it didn't air cuz he eliminated all the girls on the first night

Jonathan Aprati beat the original pokemon in 38 minutes with five rattatas and a weedle

Jonathan Aprati has collected every beanie baby ever made and kept them in mint condition WITHOUT the use of tag protectors

Jonathan Aprati broke both of his legs before running in the Olympics just to give everyone else a 2nd place
Jonathan Aprati tore down the Berlin Wall, but only because it provided an unseemly view from his new skyscraper

Jonathan Aprati doesn't always drink, but when he does, it sure is funny

Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it. She kissed Jonathan apart and she loved it

Jonathan Aprati can read Lady Gaga's poker face

Jonathan Aprati has swagger, but doesn't use it, cuz that just wouldn't be fair