FoW MTR: May 29

Gangster Squad



Rabbitt: I think I could like Gangster Squad. I won't sit here and say that I've seen everything Gosling has been in, but I haven't seen a  Gosling movie that I thought was terrible. This film is directed by Ruben Fleischer, who also directed Zombieland. The only other major film directing credit for Fleischer is 30 Minutes or Less, which I, along with most of America, did not see. It will be interesting to see his first go at a more serious film. More importantly, I'm interested to see how many Zombieland rules he can work into the script. Clearly, there will be ample opportunities for the double tap (rule #2). From the looks of things, Emma Stone (Zombieland alum) appears to be keeping up with her cardio (rule #1). Check. I'm not blown away by this one, but I think it could be solid. 


Hammock: Agreed all around. As I've said before, I always support movies comprised of actors and actresses who are paler than I am -- which means I'm obligated to see all Emma Stone (whose ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it) films. This, of course, is assuming she doesn't make a habit of going to the tanning bed. As for your assessment of Ryan Gosling movies, I'll take it one step further -- I think his movies, on average, are up there with the best the Hollywood A-list has to offer. I still can't believe Drive didn't get nominated for best picture.


The Campaign


Hammock: I have to admit, the wiener-licking goat line caught me off guard and made me LOL. What does that say about me as a person? I'm not sure. Bathroom humor is the second lowest form of comedy (ahead of Tyler Perry's Madea movies), but sometimes you can't help but laugh. I really don't know what to think of The Campaign. Will Ferrell and Zach Goljaiosiajasbvkas certainly have the ability to be funny, but sometimes silliness gets in the way. Of course, I love Step Brothers and it doesn't get much sillier than that. 

Side note: Looks like I finally won my five year can't-shave-your-beard battle with Zach Galifinakas. 

Another side note: Galifinakas is even harder to spell that McConaughey.

Rabbitt: You know what you are getting when you walk in the theater to see The Campaign. You will laugh, shake your head, cry -- maybe because you are laughing so hard... maybe because you paid $10 to see it. There will be no smoke or mirrors. One of the writers is from Eastbound and Down, which is pretty darn funny without many redeeming qualities. The director, Jay Roach, has directed a slew of comedies I didn't care for and one that I did -- Meet the Parents. He also directed the TV movie Game Change, a serious campaign movie for which Julianne Moore has received critical acclaim for her portrayal of Sarah Palin. I haven't seen it yet, but early reports indicate that they did not let him say wiener-licking goat in Game Change.

The Do-Deca-Pentathlon

Rabbitt: This seems like a decent idea for a TV episode, maybe even a two-episode season finale. But, I don't know how this movie can keep momentum going for a full length feature film. The Duplass brothers have come out with some good stuff recently with Jeff, Who Lives at Home and I've heard good things about Your Sister's Sister. I just don't see how this could possibly drag out for 90 minutes. The answer, obviously, is that there are 25 events including, but not limited to: racquetball, arm wrestling, ping pong, charity 5k, and everyone's favorite...the long jump.  In an unrelated story, I would be awesome at one of these. 

Hammock: Yeah, I'm definitely not sold either. The Duplass brothers have been pretty successful with the whole dry humor/mumblecore thing, but this seems extra dry and extra mumbly. Also, this may be the first (American) movie trailer we've done on MTR where I didn't recognize at least one actor in the preview. I guess I'm just not up to snuff on do-deca-pentathletes. Speaking of, how exactly does do-dec-pentathlon equal 25 events? Dodeca means 12 and penta means 5. Wouldn't that be like 60 events? Those guys must be in better shape than they look.

A Cat in Paris

 


Hammock: I'm a cat-person. No, not like a genetically engineered feline-human hybrid -- I just love cats. It's no surprise, then, that A Cat in Paris strikes my fancy (feast?). I would imagine this movie also appeals to cats and let's face it, the feline community could really use something to bring them together after last year's tragic kitten race war.

Rabbitt: We already know that Paris in the morning is beautiful. Paris in the afternoon is charming.  Paris in the evening is enchanting.  But, Paris after midnight... is magic. This looks like a fun one. Apparently, David and I aren't the only ones who think so.  This is an Oscar-nominated film from 2012, losing out to Rango in the Best Animated Feature Film Category. I think the main takeaway here is that I need to visit Paris...but only if it is the one that is portrayed in the movies and Kanye/Jay-Z songs.

David and Stephan aren't really into do-deca-pentathlons, but are always up for some 2 on 2 hoops. Follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt or catch them on the AND1 Mixtape tour... in the stands.

FoW MTR: May 11

This week's Movie Trailer Rundown features a gang of aging action stars, some cringe-worthy manscaping, a shaggy Ben Affleck, and a murderous Matthew McConaughey. Let's get it started with...

The Expendables 2

 

Hammock: I can appreciate the premise. I mean, who doesn't like an all-star team? The first Expendables movie capitalized on the idea, bringing together some of the most prominent action stars of the last few decades to "shoot first, ask questions never" as a team.Expendables 2 promises more of the same, this time adding cult hero Chuck Norris to the mix. Seems like a natural step. So, why won't I be seeing this movie? Because I don't like action movies. More specifically, I don't enjoy movies that don't have a good story... unless they can really make me laugh. For those who of you who do love action movies, I'm sure this is right up your alley, but my alley is elsewhere. My alley is a place where heroes aren't impenetrable to bullets... or subtlety.

Rabbitt: Sly Stallone, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Jet Li... This is like The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for action stars. I was completely unaware that Expendables 1 existed until this very moment. So, that should give a pretty good indication this will be the last I speak of the sequel. When is it ever a good idea to gallivant into battle on zip lines? Are they fighting the American Gladiators? Stallone shoots down a chopper with a motorcycle. That's cool. I'm pretty sure I saw Willis down a chopper with a police car in Live Free or Die Hard. Kind of a toss up as to which one has the higher degree of difficulty. Willis had to drive his bike most of the way while he was being shot at before diving out of the car. Stallone had to keep his bike from tipping over on the way to the ramp. One thing is for certain: both motorcycle takedowns look like an easier task than sitting through this movie.

Mansome

 

Rabbitt: I miss Arrested Development. A lot. With Bateman and Arnett back on screen together, this seems like a sure thing from the outset. The list of story lines that could follow the opening clip that would turn me off from wanting to see this movie is a short list... but that list includes documentaries about male grooming tendencies. Sorry guys .I'll wait for theArrested Development reunion.

Hammock: I actually just finished watching Arrested Development in its entirety for like the tenth time and, like Stephan, my desire to see the new season is palpable. Imagine my excitement when I see two of the Bluth brothers in the same shot, then my disappointment when we find out this movie is about manscaping. COME ON! I actually kinda like Morgan Spurlock and I'm willing to bet there are parts of this movie I would enjoy, BUT I'm also pretty sure there will be parts that will make me queasy. Man parts. The risk simply outweighs the reward. Besides, I already know exactly what makes a man handsome... money. And mental math skills, of course.


Argo

 

Rabbitt: Ben Affleck may not always act in the greatest movies. To this day, a little part of me dies inside every time I think of Pearl Harbor. But, he very rarely leads us astray as a writer and/or director. His writing credits include Good Will Hunting, The Town, and Gone Baby Gone, the latter two of which he also directed. If you ever get the chance to watch The Town on Blu-ray, I highly recommend the special features and interviews with Ben, especially about the logistics of the shots at Fenway. It's really interesting stuff. Back to Argo, I think it looks really promising, despite Ben appearing as if he strolled on set straight from an occupy movement. If you want to sound like the wine/art aficionado in Midnight in Paris, make sure you check out the Wikipedia page for Argo of Greek Mythology before you attend the movie. Did you know the Argo was built by the shipwright Argus, and its crew, were specially protected by the goddess Hera. I challenge you to say that at the theater and not sound like a pretentious snob.

Hammock: It just might be a reverse reaction to the prevailing anti-Affleck sentiment over the last decade, but I've got a bit of a soft spot for Ben. Sure he's been in some crappy movies, but who hasn't? As Stephan points out, he's acted in some good ones too -- I'd add Dazed and Confused, the Jay and Silent Bob movies, and, what the heck, even Armageddon to Stephan's list. As for Argo, I majored in History, so I'm down for a movie about the Iranian Hostage Crisis. (I'm just slightly more down for a movie about man who fights crime dressed as a bat.) The talented cast leads me to believe that this movie will steer closer to Affleck's hits than his misses -- but even if it does bomb, he still gets to go home to Jennifer Garner at the end of the day. Do you like apples, Stephan?


Killer Joe

 

Hammock:  From Magic Mike to Killer Joe goes Matthew McConaughey. Before I get into Killer Joe, I'd like to point out that McConaughey is the single most difficult Hollywood last name to spell. Okay, there are some tough foreign-sounding ones that I can't even begin to try, but it seems like I should be able to get a handle on McConaughey. I can't. (Segue alert!) I also couldn't get a handle on this trailer for Killer Joe. Who are the good guys? Who are the bad guys? Isn't that girl a little too young for Matthew McConaughey? Wait, I seem to remember him mentioning something about that before... (start at the 1:05 mark).

Rabbitt: Instead of watching Killer Joe or Magic Mike, I'd rather watch Killa Mike. At least Killa Mike clarifies, "over 18 only cause baby I'm no perv." Take notes, McConaughey. Looks like you'll have to be at least 17 to get in to this one anyway as Killer Joe has an NC-17 rating as of the release of this trailer. I would normally say that I imagine they'll be cutting some scenes to try to get an R rating but I just read in EW that they will not be cutting any scenes and will release with the NC-17 rating. So, that shows what I know. One thing I do know is that I won't be seeing this one.




Neither David nor Stephan believe in taking their shirts off in public as much as Matthew “However you spell it.” But who does? Follow them on Twitter anyways @david_hammock and@itsrabbitt.

FoW MTR: April 27

By David Hammock and Thomas Hokum


Cosmopolis

 

Hammock: Press pause at the one second mark. Could it be? Are those tiny leaves? R-Patz is in a movie that boasts the vaunted Cannes logo! Sure, Cosmopolis is merely a selection (think participation ribbon at a science fair), but this is a big step forward for Mr. Cullen, who has yet to appear in a well-received film in which he was not portraying a Hufflepuff. Sadly, I'm not sure this is the movie that will break that trend... I can't imagine the Cannes jury being très impressed with Jay Baruchel. And what's with the bragging about being the "first film about our new millenium"? What about Wall-E? Nevertheless, I'm rooting for Robert Pattinson to finally earn some long-awaited acting cred. After all, I did name my favorite office appliance after him.

Hokum: When that kid from Twilight is the first thing I see, I want to turn it off. But then I see the mercenary dude from Lost (Oh Keamy, you loved to shoot people) and figure things might be okay. So if I had to guess at the plot I would assume Mr. Vampire (who I’m assuming is still a vampire in this movie because he is never in the sunlight or eating garlic, but still seducing annoying women) rides around in his limo from the future, tricking women to get in with the shiny blue lights and display screens that make me think of the Starship Enterprise. Meanwhile, he avoids attacks from the rat-worshipping citizens of the future “cosmopolis,” which has to be the dumbest word I’ve ever heard. Almost as dumb as worshiping rats. Did I mention the rats? They seem to be important, but mostly I think everyone is Cosmopolis is on drugs. Or they are possessed by the dark rodent god Cheez Wiz? At the 50 second mark, a screen appears informing me that the movie is based on a book, which I guess is supposed to reassure me that somebody actually liked it enough to put words to it, but then I notice it’s by Don DeLillo and therefore probably didn’t make the NYT Bestseller List. All seems lost until 1:46 when we see Robert Pattinson appear to take a gun and blow a hole in his hand, which yeah, maybe I’d pay to see... so long as they’re silver bullets.

Lawless

 

Hammock: I've been familiar with this movie for a while now because a good chunk of it was filmed in Newnan, GA, where I lived at the time. I believe it was called The Wettest County in the World back then and it was hard to ignore because everyone was always running into Shia LaBeouf around town. I didn't care too much, as Shia obviously peaked on Even Stevens, but had I known that running into Jessica Chastain was a possibility, I may have ventured out more... as if there's actually anything to do in Newnan. Lawless boasts an impressive cast, but I'm not all that intrigued by its premise. Prohibition is so 90 years ago. Get with the program like Cosmopolis and make a movie about our new millenium... you know, without the giant rats.

Hokum: Being a huge fan of gangster movies, there’s only so much mud I can sling on this one. I will say that for the first 30 seconds I was waiting for Shia’s circa-1940’s Ford to turn into a giant robot and start squashing policemen. Actually, thinking about how much I enjoyed Cowboys Vs. Aliens, it might not have been a bad idea. As Hammock said, the cast is impressive and any time a Tommy Gun is fired on screen you can pretty much count on my $7 $10 $12.

Hotel Transylvania

 

Hammock: Animated films always cast a plethora of stars to do the voices, but one name stood out to me when looking at the lineup for Hotel Transylvania: Genndy Tartakovsky. "Who's that?" you might ask. Why, Genndy Tartakovsky is the creator/director/writer of childhood favorites Dexter's Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls, and Samurai Jack, and is directing this movie. Now I don't know how well his talents will transfer to the big screen, but with a cartoon resume like that, I'm willing to give Hotel Transylvania a chance... even if it does have Adam Sandler in it.

Hokum: Well, Hammock threatens to throw us off topic as I now have to gush le emotional about the awesomeness of Dexter's Laboratory while pondering why Tartakovsky (whose name I wasn't aware of, but must be awesome) has not made more cartoons for me to eye-devour. As far as the trailer, I really like the art direction - it almost looks cell shaded - especially at the beginning where they play with light sources. I'm not going to lie, I was a a big fan of Scooby Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (the old cartoon movie about Scooby and Shaggy racing in Dracula's "Monster Road Rally") growing up and seeing all the old Hollywood monsters brings back some nostalgia. However, as soon as Dracula opens his mouth and the Waterboy's voice comes out, the whole thing is ruined. I look forward to falling asleep while I watch it on DVD Netflix.

Ruby Sparks

 

Hammock: I can't decide whether Ruby Sparks sounds more like the name of a porn star or an energy drink. Either way, I like the premise. It has a little bit of the Stranger Than Fiction thing going on where author meets character in real life, but this one takes the idea a step further as the author, Paul Dano, invents and encounters the girl of his dreams. I like Paul Dano. I think it's because he's a certifiably unattractive fellow who's managed to do well in a certifiably shallow town like Hollywood. Speaking of shallow, Ruby begs the question: if you could pen your dream girl/guy into existence, what sorts of things would you be jotting down? I know I speak for Stephan (who's MIA this week) when I say two of the first words that come to my mind are mental and math. Also, Bar and Refaeli.

Hokum: I second Hammock on both liking the premise and getting Stranger Than Fiction deja vu. However, where Fiction was a self-propelled Will Ferrell comedy, I get the feeling that Ruby Sparks might try to get its feet wet in the deep end of the drama pool. Honestly, the premise seems so obvious - writer falls in love with his creation - that I'm surprised I haven't seen some iteration of it before. I had no idea this movie was even in the works, but now I'm definitely planning on seeing it. Plus, it's got the geeky kid from The Girl Next Door. Oh, and Hammock, I assume the title refers to what happens when these lovely two gingers get down. ~Hokum out.

FoW MTR: April 6

by David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

The Giant Mechanical Man




Hammock: I'll go ahead and ask the question on everyone's mind (no, not "Where's Jim?"): How did the bespectacled fellow from Mad Men pull Malin Akerman? Is he funny or something? Anyway, this movie looks fairly promising, what with the little Sundance leaves in the title card and all. It should be fun to see Pam Beasley step out from behind the receptionist desk and take on a semi-serious role... even if it is opposite a giant man-robot. While these quirky little indie romantic comedies almost always pique my interest, I sometimes find them on the trite side, but we'll give this one the benefit of the doubt. Here's to hoping for Garden State, but expecting Lars and the Real Girl.


Rabbitt: I think we all know the answer to how he pulled Malin Akerman... his superior abilities in the area of mental math. They strike again! I'm sure you have experienced this in your life as well. Generally, I like this type of movie. At worst, I'm looking at a movie that is just okay with little chance to bomb with me. The real question though: Is the Tin Man only after Pam's heart because the Wizard turned him away?


Step Up Revolution

 


Rabbitt: One small step up for man, one giant leap down for movie goers. The best part about watching this trailer on YouTube is that it recommends Justin Bieber's new single "Boyfriend" at the end. I guess they are shooting for the 99% here with their protest dancing while the big bad businessman uses money that he earned while working a job to buy up all the cool stuff. 
The nerve. The only place Step Up Revolution is going to occupy is the dollar theater about a week after release.


Hammock: If I'm watching this movie, I'm rooting for Sandy Cohen from the O.C. (Don't call it that.) Seriously, I hope all those dancers go to jail for causing that traffic jam. Pop, lock, don't drop the soap. And if you're gonna dance to protest Miami millionaires, at least pick ones worth the funk assembly... the Miami Marlins. Worst uniforms ever? You're right Stephan, the businessman probably worked his tail off, doing hours upon hours of mental math to get where he's at in life, only to be made the villain by a bunch of tools doing the running man. What is it about South Beach that makes so many losers want to take their talents there?


Rock of Ages

 


Hammock: Country music is the worst musical genre, but 80s hair metal isn't far behind. This movie revolves around the music of Bon Jovi, Journey, Poison, and a handful of other bands I won't let within a mile of my iPod, so I just don't see myself enjoying this one. As is the case with Step Up 4, if I am forced into seeing this movie, I'll be rooting for the rich, uptight businessperson (this time it's Catherine Zeta-Jones) to prevail over the obnoxious, raucous youth. I'm a big fan of Malin, but not of metal, musicals, or miscreants... all the Akermans in the world won't change that. Even if Twisted Sister themselves offer me a free ticket, I'm not gonna take it.


Rabbitt: It seems the editor is sorting this week's trailers by Ackerman. Keep it up, T.S. Apparently, Anne Hathaway and Amy Adams were initially offered the role but were previously engaged with Dark Knight Rises and Man of Steel, respectively. Rock of Ages didn't really have a prayer with us. I also don't care for 80's rock. I'm actually a huge fan of a bar in Atlanta where the bartenders have a button to skip songs played on the jukebox and skip Journey every time someone plays it. Anyway you want it... psych!


To Rome with Love

 


Rabbitt: As much as I loved Midnight in Paris, it's no surprise that I'm very excited about Woody Allen's next release. The trailer has the same ambiance as MiP; I feel like they moved to Rome, changed the cadence of the accordion and called it a day. Last time I saw Ellen Page was Inception, where she was excellent, but it's great to see her back in the type of movie that showcases her acting talent a bit more. I still haven't seen Social Network, so this will serve as my gentle, Jessie Eisenbergish reminder that it's 2012.


Hammock: Gotta love Ellen Page. Or do I? As much as I liked her as Juno and Babe Ruthless, her character in this one seems like a giant ho-bag. Ms. Page serves as a microcosm of my feelings toward Woody Allen movies: I want to like them, but sometimes I just can't. Like Stephan, I liked Mid**ght in Paris, mostly because it was lighthearted and endearing, but many Woody Allen movies are so morally flawed that I can't get behind them. I realize, of course, that 99% of people in Hollywood don't share my ideals, but for some reason Woody Allen strikes me as particularly morally bankrupt. Maybe it's the whole married-to-his-daughter thing. Anyway, I'm a fan of Game of Thrones, which is completely devoid of any morality, so I'm kind of a hypocrite. Still, that's a heck of a lot better than that whole married-to-your-daughter thing.


David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt are both excellent at mental math... ladies. For demonstrations of their skills you should send them flash cards or follow them on Twitter@david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Daze

Sick of chick flicks? See Rachel McAdams' face everywhere? Feel like the only things you ever do are Eat, Pray, and Love? You sir, may be suffering from what I like to call "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Daze." It's a dreadful condition in which you're eternally obligated to watch chick flicks with your wife or girlfriend. But fear not, manly man, for there is hope. Here are few ways to help escape all the girly (Sandra) bullocks.

1. Suggest a movie with a hot guy in it.

Chick flick me as hard as you can

"Hey, let's watch this one. It's got People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive Bradley Cooper in it."

Bam, you're watching the Hangover. Keanu Reeves = Point Break. Brad Pitt = Fight Club.

2. Tell her that you think the girl in the chick flick she picked is hot.

"Oh, we're watching Win A Date With Tad Hamilton? That's cool, Kate Bosworth is hot.
"Is she prettier than me?"
"Well, we're about to find out. Press play."
"No wait, I think it's your turn to pick."

Just be careful with this one, there are some snags with this step. For instance:

1. Make sure you know who the actress is:

"Hey, let's watch Uptown Girls."
"What's that?"
"It's that cute little movie with Dakota Fanning."
"Ok, fine. Dakota Fanning is hot."
"She's like 12 years old."

2. Make sure the she isn't a he:

"Let's watch Bringing Up Baby."
"Who's in that?"

Makes Step 5 easier

"Cary Grant."
"Cool. She's hot."
"Cary Grant's a man."

3. Stretch the truth.

"Oh, NOTTING Hill... I thought you said HAMBURGER Hill."

4. Flat out lie

"Sorry honey, Blockbuster was all out of business  chick flicks, so I rented Die Hard. It has some dialogue, so I think you'll like it."

"Nicholas Sparks killed my dad. I can't, in good conscience, watch movies based on his books."

5. Deal with it. 

Chick flicks aren't always bad. I happen to like Pride and Prejudice, Atonement, and Love Actually, among others. Of course, maybe I just like Keira Knightley.

FoW MTR: Hunger Games Edition

By David Hammock, Stephan Rabbitt

Editor's Note: The Hunger Games opens this weekend and will no doubt approach Harry Potter box office numbers ($150 million)... especially with IMAX tickets that cost like $35 with a super huge small popcorn. In honor of the movie's release, FoW MTR reviewed all the trailers to whet your appetite for the blockbuster. Don't worry, the puns get worse.

Teaser Trailer


Rabbitt: This is just a great teaser. When this was released, most everyone knew of Jennifer Lawrence. Maybe it was from her Oscar-nominated performance in Winter's Bone, her not-as-disguised-as-often-as-you-would-think Mystique in X-Men First Class, or her heart-breaking portrayal of Sam in Like Crazy. I love the isolation. All we see is J-Law, which is never a bad thing. But here, it also serves to show that this is an every boy and girl for themselves battle, especially given that we all knew a little bit about the story prior to watching. And I'm not sure if it is because I grew up on The Legend of Zelda, but I just love the bow and arrow as a weapon. 5 stars.

Hammock: Let me preface this by saying that I'm a big, big fan of the books and I'll do my best not to be a douche about details and spoilers. For those who have read the books, this trailer is about one thing: Katniss. At this point, we all knew that J-Law would be portraying the protagonist and readers everywhere were dying to see how the silver screen version of Katniss stacked up to the Katniss in their imaginations. I, for one, was happy. It's hard to be dissatisfied any time you get an eyeful of Jennifer Lawrence, but I was a little worried that she wouldn't pass for a 16 year old. She's close enough. Certainly closer than the cast of Saved by the Bell. The teaser also gives us a small taste of the plot, just enough to get us excited.Capitol job, teaser trailer maker. 5 stars for you... and 1 special, sensual star just for you, J-Law.

Trailer 1

Hammock: Watching these Hunger Games trailers reminds me of watching Harry Pottertrailers back in the day. I would pause during every scene to try to figure out what was what from the book. I've matured a lot since then... I mean, I only paused this one like three times. All in all, I think the trailer is a good, straightforward summary of the plot. It's pretty simple really: Running Man with innocent children instead of criminals. Or is it more like Breakfast Club with weapons? I wonder if they'll give Lenny Kravitz a chance at some quality meta. I can totally see his character exclaiming that he "wants to get away" or asking Katniss if she's "gonna go his way." He is Lenny Kravitz after all... he can do whatever the Effie wants. That's right, I'm ending all my responses with awful Hunger Games puns.

Rabbitt: David and I are examples of the two types of people that will be going to see this movie: those who have read the book and those that haven't. I will not be disappointed by any differences between the book and the movie because I have not read  it. However, this trailer was of paramount importance for those that had read the book. For the first time, they get to compare the spectacle that was bound only by their imagination to the Hollywood production. The characters now have an identity. Were you picturing Lenny Kravitz as Cinna before? Well you will be from now on! Coming from someone that hasn't read the book, I think the trailer is great.

Trailer 2

Rabbitt: Those of us who haven't read the book have seen the gold bird with an arrow in its grasp on Hunger Games posters and trailers, but we find out what to call it and get our first look at the characters with the mockingjay in this final trailer. Otherwise, we get most of the same material as the main theatrical trailer. Everybody is locked, loaded and ready to go. I've got my ticket for tonight in IMAX and I'm only mildly upset that I won't get to wear this shirt to the theater.

Hammock: I'm actually going to refrain from watching this last trailer because it will just upset me. You see, I couldn't go to the midnight showing last night because I had to teach school this morning and I'm experiencing some very real Hunger pangs. However, not unlike the cylons, I have a plan: to help quell (Pun #3!) my sorrow, I'm going to have a reaping at school today. I'll randomly select one boy and one girl from each class, give them detention, then have them fight over the right to leave detention early and earn a pizza party for their district... I mean period. I'll even splurge for deep dish. That's right kids, if you win, you can Panem. (Ha, that bonus pun is so bad, I'll forgo the option to add Cinna sticks).

David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt believe the odds are ever in their favor, unless you're talking about getting with Jennifer Lawrence. You can follow their excited reactions about The Hunger Games on Twitter at @david_hammock & @itsrabbitt

FoW MTR

3/16/12 Edition of Fistful of Words' Movie Trailer Rundown
By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

Battlefield America

 

Hammock: I spent my entire childhood playing with GI Joes, not knowing that there existed a fabulous world of competitive children's street dancing. Well, at least I know now... and knowing is half the battle... but "this isn't a battle, this is war."

Rabbitt: I would just really like to see Marquez Houston in more movies. #sh*tnobodysaysexceptmarquezhouston. 

TS: Guys, I know that my job with these FoW MTR posts is to find trailers and get out of the way. But I can't do that today. I just can't. You've both given short shrift to a trailer that is so ambitiously awful that I can't sit idly by without sharing my thoughts on this awesomeness brought to us by the people who brought us You Got Served.

0:09- City skyline with raucous stadium cheering. Battlefield = a competition. Got it. But what kind?
0:10- 0:14- "This is the biggest battlefield in American history." Why are there tents indoors with crowds of cheering people?
0:15- ZOMG! Dancing! The battlefield is a dancing competition! Nothing generates more excitement than the line "From the team that brought you You Got Served!" It's like four March Madness buzzer beaters!
0:17- Why do the dancers look like their twelve? What's going on here? Is Battlefield Americaabout the long struggle of youngsters who only want to be on America's Best Dance Crew?  
0:35- Dance battles always lead to real battles. Always. This is a cautionary tale.
0:37-0:44- When I said the dancers were twelve, I way overestimated. If anyone in this crew has to look after their little brother, they'd have to carry around a diaper bag. So young. So real. So much dancing.
0:45- 0:48- Black vs. White. Even Obama's election can't solve the entrenched beliefs of these six year olds. 
0:50- More child violence. I want to turn away but can't.
1:02 - 1:05- Marques Houston and the evil white guy from Orange County from You Got Served! Are these their kids? Please let them be their children.
1:05 - 1:49 A lot of dancing and some dialogue. I can't pay attention. I'm distracted that the evil white guy from Orange County hasn't changed his ways now that he's a parent. I'm feeling nostalgic. Did Omarion marry Marques Houston sister? Did they live happily-ever-high school? What about college? Did O hit a growth spurt or does he still have to wear lifts to be taller than his girl?
1:50- Looking past how amazing this movie will be, I'm glad that the Hollywood producers placed eight year olds dancing against each other in proper context by calling it a war. You know, especially after everyone on the planet has watched the Kony 2012 video.
  
I could go on and break down the inevitable Mindless Behavior or Diggy cameos, but I won't. (Knowing about Mindless Behavior and Diggy is definitely something I should throw up on my future Match.com profile). In any event, I look forward to waiting in line to see this movie... at the dollar theater... four weeks after it opens. Can't wait! Now back to you guys. 

What to Expect When You're Expecting

 

Rabbitt: Soundtrack alert: Sleeper Agent's "Get it Daddy" opens up the trailer (see what they did there). Most of this movie was filmed in and around Atlanta, home of the Braves. Much of the trailer footage shows off Piedmont Park. I've seen Sleeper Agent in concert 3 times. I've seen Piedmont Park many times. I will see this movie 0 times.

Hammock: I'd watch this movie just to see Atlanta (my hometown) in the background... kinda like how I like watching The Walking Dead because it's filmed near my old house... and because it's awesome. This is a grab bag cast with some funny people (Jim Dangle and Rob Huebel rocking some Georgia Tech swag!) and ), some people who others think are funny and I don't (Chris Rock, babies) and for some inexplicable reason, Brooklyn Decker. Actually, there are two big reasons Brooklyn Decker is in this or any movie... I think every guy knows what they are... talent and charisma. I'm not as opposed to seeing this one as you Stephan, but I'd much rather see Sleeper Agent in concert... almost as much as Brooklyn Decker would like to see her husband in a Grand Slam final.

Delicacy
 

Hammock: I told you every French movie starred Audrey Tautou! Now, I don't speak French, but it seems like the point of this movie is that Tautou falls in love with a dude who's Frenchin' ugly. This is a somewhat unexplored theme in American cinema (except in Adam Sandler movies) so leave it to the French to teach us Americans a thing or two about inner beauty. I tell ya, France is really on a roll in Hollywood right now. The Artist, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Napoleon Dynamite, now this... they're le taking ovre.

Rabbitt: You know what is an unexplored theme in French cinema? Diversity. This looks like a nice story with beautiful scenery. Although, it won't beat Piedmont Park with the Atlanta backdrop. Like David, I also do not speak French. However, I can see that our vaguely familiar (but probably not) male lead is big and goofy, runs into glass doors, knocks over wine bottles, and still gets the girl. He must be great at mental math or something. 

You can now follow FoW MTR on Tumblr at http://fowmtr.tumblr.com/. Follow David and Stephan on Twitter @david_hammock @itsrabbitt. 

FoW Movie Trailer Rundown

Another one from Fistful of Words:

By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

Safe

Hammock: This is a must-see for fans of the "hand-Jason-Statham-a-gun-and-let-him-run-around-the-city-killing-people" genre... which is pretty much every Jason Statham movie. Speaking of which, do you follow him on twitter?

• Went to city to run around and kill people, but forgot my gun  #JasonStathamProblems

• Speeding down city street in car with gun, but no one to shoot #JasonStathamProblems

• Have gun and want revenge in the city, but lost driver's license for speeding #JasonStathamProblems

Anyway, I'll pass on this one, mainly because I think it's racist that the little girl with the photographic memory is Asian.

Rabbitt: Man, those Triads must really love their Soduko. I've actually seen a surprising number of Statham movies that I liked: Snatch, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Revolver. Of course, this list leaves out a few more recent Statham ventures like Crank and Transporter. I find it interesting that this trailer mentions that Safe is produced by the same producer as Kill Bill and Inglorious Basterds, trying to associate it with two well-respected movies. But, the fact that those titles were critically-acclaimed likely had more to do with being written and directed by Quentin Tarantino than with being produced by the producer of Safe. In a related story, there is no Academy Award for Best Producer. David, I think Bobby Cox would disagree with calling this one safe. It’s out!

Friends with Kids

Rabbitt: If you had given me fifty guesses on who would be playing Adam Scott’s love interest, none of them would have been Megan Fox. It will be interesting to see how she fares in what may be her first real chance to succeed in an acting role (Jennifer’s Body doesn’t count). She’s traded in Megatron, Optimus Prime, and Tyrese for a nice mixture of established and up and coming actors. There have been a few attempts at the loaded cast, interwoven couple story line flicks over the years. Good news: this one isn’t named after a holiday. I think it’s safe to say this one looks a lot more like Love Actually than New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day. I only saw one of the two lousy ones, but I reserve the right to make fun of both.

Hammock: Yeah, Megan Fox does seem out of place, but so would anyone who wasn't inBridesmaids. I'll bypass my thoughts on the whole hey-we're-friends-let's-have-a-kid ridiculousness and instead express how impressed I am that the two leads only need to have sex once to make a baby. This does look like a talented cast, led by personal fave Adam Scott, so I too will assume that this will be better than NYE and V-Day... though those movies can be fun with the right people. Ultimately, I think Friends With Kids hopes to play like Knocked Up: raunchy funny with genuine heart and pathos. My guess is that it will be successful with the critics, though I agree with Jon Hamm about the plot... "it's the worst idea I've ever heard."

Sassy Pants

Hammock: Oh, wow! Gay adult Haley Joel Osment. I was unprepared for that. M Night Shyamalan should have put that at the end of the Sixth Sense for an even bigger twist. I'm trying to formulate a response to the trailer, but I can't get past the sight of Forrest Gump Jr.in daisy dukes.

Rabbitt: That was definitely even more surprising than seeing Megan Fox. This trailer reminds me of one of my all-time favorite films Little Miss Sunshine (the recent standard for dysfunctional movie families). I’m still mildly upset Abigail Breslin didn’t win the beauty pageant. "SuperFreak"! Come on, judges! Sassy Pants looks like it is on the same wavelength. It will combine funny, heartwarming, and awkward moments to show us that family matters.  Because, as days go by, it’s the bigger love of the family...

Casa de mi Padre

Rabbitt: One thing our loyal reader(s) may not know about me is... I don't like to read. I avoid it whenever possible. That is one of the great things about movies. Why read Hunger Gameswhen the movie comes out in March AND Jennifer Lawrence is in it. Someone just said this to me the other day, "I finished Hunger Games in 30 hours." It won't take me nearly that long to watch it. That said, I'm torn on this one due to my half Puerto Rican heritage. I can understand enough of this movie to get the gist without reading... but I probably won't get all the jokes. (#firstworldpains!) I imagine this will be like most Will Ferrell movies: some really funny parts, some really stupid parts... but in Spanish & subtitled. Bueno.

Hammock: First of all, Stephan, I highly recommend reading the Hunger Games trilogy because it's fantastic. Of course, so is Jennifer Lawrence, so by all means see the movie too. (Sigh) Jennifer Lawrence. There's something about her... a certain mystique, if you will. Anyway, I do like reading, but I'm not sure if I want to do it at the movie theater. Sometimes it's worth it, but clearly this movie is no City of God. Maybe I'll play this one like you, Stephan, and rely on my four years of Spanish so I don't have to read, but I'm pretty sure I've forgotten too much for that to be effective. Que lastima. All in all, I'm on the fence about this one, but Nick Offerman sneaking in at the end of the trailer is definitely a plus.

Neither David Hammock nor Stephan Rabbitt are opposed to hanging out with Jennifer Lawrence. You can follow them both on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.