Monday, February 20, 2012

FoW Movie Trailers Rundown

FoW Movie Trailers Rundown
By David Hammock & Stephan Rabbitt 

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

 

Rabbitt: Life was way better when Buffy was around to keep all the vampires off the silver screen. This Abe Lincoln looks like he'd crush at the Lumberjack Games, though. 

Hammock: As a history major, I can vouch for the complete historical accuracy of this film. Honest Abe was indeed in a mid-19th century movie about his fantasy life as a vampire hunter. Of course, he only made a brief cameo in the movie... the role of Lincoln was played by John Wilkes Booth. This is, of course, where Booth became so entrenched in his role that he lost touch with reality and began to believe he was Abe and eventually assassinated Lincoln so that he could live life as the one and only President. This assassination, as we all know, took place at the Ford Theater during a viewing of Bridge To Teribithia, thus ending Lincoln's attempt to free the slaves and restore the Union. So close.

Dark Tide

 

Hammock: By far the best part of the trailer is at the 1:21 mark where I'm fairly certain I saw a killer seal. Aside from that, color me disinterested. I like shark week as much as the next guy, but spending two hours watching Halle Berry try to overcome her completely rational fear of swimming with sharks isn't my idea of fun. Also, I think Dark Tide might be a bit of a racist title. 

Rabbitt: This movie is directed by John Stockwell, a.k.a. "Cougar" from Top GunBack in his fighter pilot days, he used to think of his wife and kids and how he almost orphaned them before he ever even saw them. Now, he's making movies about swimming with sharks... OUTSIDE THE CAGE! The Coast Guard regrets to inform you that your sons and daughters are dead, because they were stupid. The only reason you need to be diving amongst sharks is if you are looking for Goose's dog tags. And you are spot on about the 1:21 mark, David. What the heck is that!? 


Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

 

Rabbitt: I don't know if this movie could be any more up my alley. Great story, great cast. Steve Carrell has really turned out to have a great career. I never saw it coming from Bruce Almighty and The Daily Show (I'm sure he did other things I didn't watch). Keira Knightley is okay too, I guess. And by that, I mean she stole my heart a long time ago. It was actually used as the prop heart in the Pirates franchise. 

Hammock: Ditto. It's nice to see Carell succeed. He seems like a normal guy. He's not particularly handsome or an Oscar-chaser... he's just a solid, likable actor. It's also nice to see Knightley playing a character not from Victorian England. Fun fact: You know those programs where you upload a picture of your face and it tells you which celebrity you most resemble? Well I remember doing that a few years back and got Keira Knightley. I take it as a compliment, though personally I've always thought I favor Danny Glover

Prometheus

 

Hammock: Hard to argue with a movie that boasts the director of Gladiator, the writer of Lost, Lisbeth Salander, Stringer Bell, an Oscar-winning Monster, Magneto, and that dude that always remembered Sammy Jankis. Rec'd. 

Rabbitt: Nice to see Fassbender working again. I was beginning to get worried after not seeing him in a trailer for a couple days. As David points out, Prometheus boasts an incredibly strong lineup. It looks expensive; however, it will have a nice window in June to open without being overrun by the big summer blockbusters. 

David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt are planning an expedition to discover a killer seal. You can follow them on their crusade @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.