PCD Monday #4

Don't let the large font fool you, this book is not for children.

FoW Movie Trailer Rundown

Another gem from FoW:

by David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

Project X

Rabbitt: I saw this trailer in theaters over the weekend and it got some hearty laughs. There is quite a bit of ridiculousness going on here… not the least of which would be the flamethrower. I have actually been to a Super Bowl party with a flamethrower in attendance, but his name was Goose Gossage. I won’t be seeing this one, David. I did, however, find the MPAA rating and reasoning very entertaining: Rated R for crude and sexual content throughout, nudity, drugs, drinking, pervasive language, reckless behavior and mayhem - all involving teens.

Hammock: This movie looks like it was written and directed by Andrew WK. I'm not adamantly opposed to seeing a "party movie" (on Netflix), but I have this theory that when a movie includes little people/midgets just for the sake of having a little person/midget on screen, it doesn't have a lot going for it. Still, I think it has a decent chance for at least a nomination for Best Party Picture at the 2013 Oscars.

Jeff, Who Lives at Home

Hammock: Let me start out by saying that the background song, "Blood" by The Middle East, is one of my top ten all-time favorite songs. Any trailer is automatically made ten times better just by including that song. Even without it, I'm a fan of Jason Segel, Ed Helms, and the Duplass brothers, so this is kinda a must-see for me. Sadly, the more I like the trailer, the more boring my analysis, so I'm hoping the next trailer our editor scrounges up contains some good ol' fashioned Channing Tatum or gay Haley Joel Osment.

Rabbitt: Maybe both? Step Up 5 should be casting soon. I’m with you all the way on this one except for being able to identify the background song –color me impressed. Helms, Segel, and Sarandon need no introduction. I most recently saw Judy Greer in The Descendents but still identify her most with her appearances on Arrested Development as Kitty. I’m really hoping for a deleted scene/outtake in which Helms has to “say goodbye to these!”  But seriously, it looks like a great movie.

The Vow

Rabbitt: My turn to identify the background music – Taylor Swift’s "Enchanted!" Somehow, that one isn’t nearly as impressive… and maybe a little embarrassing. This movie honestly doesn’t look terrible and I do like Rachel McAdams. If I got in a car wreck and forgot about the first time I saw it when it was called 50 First Dates and additionally forgot what I thought of Channing Tatum, maybe I’d go see it.

Hammock: To our editor (TS), way to Step Up and get us a Channing trailer. As I've said before, I'm not opposed to the RomCom and this one looks to have some promise. The Vow seems like it's more in league with McAdams' The Notebook, which I liked, than Tatum's Dear John, which I didn't. And Stephan, there's nothing wrong with a little Tay Tay, as long as the rest of the country music genre stays at home

Seeking Justice

Hammock: My friend and I used to have this "game" we played whenever we went to the theater where the goal was to see three consecutive previews that didn't have Nic Cage or a vampire in them. In 2010, that goal was only accomplished twice. No lie. That's how often Nic Cage (and Edward Cullen) puts out a movie. Now, when you're in that many movies, you're gonna have a [few] stinkers: Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, Ghost Rider, Bangkok Dangerous, Next, Knowing. The only Nic Cage movie I've liked recently is Kick-Ass. Still, I like Nic Cage, so maybe Seeking Justice will put an end to his streak of sub-par movies... because Lord knows Ghost Rider 2 won't.

Rabbitt: It’s quite fitting that we end Oscar Nomination week with a Tatum/Cage double-header. Seeking Justice is definitely the best Nic Cage trailer I’ve seen in the last 6 months…then again, even the best sugar-free oatmeal still tastes like cardboard. It’s nice to see January Jones (Mad Men) in a leading role on the big screen and I’m a big fan of Guy Pearce.Memento is one of my all time favorites. I hope for Nic’s sake that you are right and this ends his streak of sub-par movies, but the trailer seems to be lacking something. Oh I know, he didn’t even bother to urinate fire on the title this time.

David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt are waiting anxiously awaiting Channing Tatum's country album, due out later this year. They are both regular contributors to Fistful of Words. You can follow them @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.

State of the Blog

I wasn't actually going to address the state of this blog in this post, but maybe just a little addressing wouldn't be so bad:

I have written and edited this blog for six months and let me tell you, the state of this blog is STRONG! This baby is recession proof! Of course, this can mostly be attributed to it being free... and not the type of free that the founding fathers were always jabbering about... free as in it doesn't cost money.

Okay, enough of that. The real purpose of this post is to talk about my amazing track record of not watching the State of the Union address. 27 years, 0 views. It's not that I don't wanna be informed, it's just that it's... well, it's pretty boring. It's the opposite of Sum 41... it's all filler and no killer. But hey, maybe I'm just being ignorant. Or maybe I'm tired of my 9pm show getting bumped. Doesn't matter. What matters is my incredible streak of changing the channel, which I will now detail in great... detail:

Year 1: I was a baby. My brain had yet to fully develop and I therefore didn't feel like I was ready to absorb the political message. (Of course, that never stopped the [insert political party members of your choosing here] from watching!)

Reasons # 2, 6 & 23

Year 2: Sesame Street marathon.

Year 3: I was kinda disillusioned with Reaganomics this particular year.

Year 4: An election year. Didn't wanna get too attached to Reagan in his last year as President.

Year 5: Too busy doing tedious Kindergarten homework.

Year 6: Another Sesame Street marathon.

Year 7: Didn't eat my vegetables at dinner that night and my punishment was not being able to watch.

Year 8: Another election year. Knew it would make me sad to never see a Bush in office again.

Reasons # 9-17

Years 9-16: Didn't watch because I was afraid I might catch a glimpse of Hillary Clinton's face.

Year 17: Again refrained because of the Hillary reason. I knew Bill wasn't President anymore, but I didn't wanna take any chances.

Years 18-21: Too bogged down with Georgia Tech studies to watch... or do anything.

Year 22: Had to work at the esteemed job my Georgia Tech degree got me: Papa John's delivery driver.

Year 23: Another Sesame Street marathon.

Reason # 25

Year 24: Obama's first address. Didn't watch seem reverse-racist by starting to watch now.

Year 25: Too busy reading the Hunger Games trilogy.

Year 26: Too excited about the upcoming Black History Month to watch.

Year 27: Too old for Sesame Street, so I watched a Yo Gabba Gabba marathon on Nick Jr instead.

PCD Monday #3

Hipster Tinkerbell

FoW Movie Trailer Rundown

Another one from Fistful of Words:

By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

Safe

Hammock: This is a must-see for fans of the "hand-Jason-Statham-a-gun-and-let-him-run-around-the-city-killing-people" genre... which is pretty much every Jason Statham movie. Speaking of which, do you follow him on twitter?

• Went to city to run around and kill people, but forgot my gun  #JasonStathamProblems

• Speeding down city street in car with gun, but no one to shoot #JasonStathamProblems

• Have gun and want revenge in the city, but lost driver's license for speeding #JasonStathamProblems

Anyway, I'll pass on this one, mainly because I think it's racist that the little girl with the photographic memory is Asian.

Rabbitt: Man, those Triads must really love their Soduko. I've actually seen a surprising number of Statham movies that I liked: Snatch, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Revolver. Of course, this list leaves out a few more recent Statham ventures like Crank and Transporter. I find it interesting that this trailer mentions that Safe is produced by the same producer as Kill Bill and Inglorious Basterds, trying to associate it with two well-respected movies. But, the fact that those titles were critically-acclaimed likely had more to do with being written and directed by Quentin Tarantino than with being produced by the producer of Safe. In a related story, there is no Academy Award for Best Producer. David, I think Bobby Cox would disagree with calling this one safe. It’s out!

Friends with Kids

Rabbitt: If you had given me fifty guesses on who would be playing Adam Scott’s love interest, none of them would have been Megan Fox. It will be interesting to see how she fares in what may be her first real chance to succeed in an acting role (Jennifer’s Body doesn’t count). She’s traded in Megatron, Optimus Prime, and Tyrese for a nice mixture of established and up and coming actors. There have been a few attempts at the loaded cast, interwoven couple story line flicks over the years. Good news: this one isn’t named after a holiday. I think it’s safe to say this one looks a lot more like Love Actually than New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day. I only saw one of the two lousy ones, but I reserve the right to make fun of both.

Hammock: Yeah, Megan Fox does seem out of place, but so would anyone who wasn't inBridesmaids. I'll bypass my thoughts on the whole hey-we're-friends-let's-have-a-kid ridiculousness and instead express how impressed I am that the two leads only need to have sex once to make a baby. This does look like a talented cast, led by personal fave Adam Scott, so I too will assume that this will be better than NYE and V-Day... though those movies can be fun with the right people. Ultimately, I think Friends With Kids hopes to play like Knocked Up: raunchy funny with genuine heart and pathos. My guess is that it will be successful with the critics, though I agree with Jon Hamm about the plot... "it's the worst idea I've ever heard."

Sassy Pants

Hammock: Oh, wow! Gay adult Haley Joel Osment. I was unprepared for that. M Night Shyamalan should have put that at the end of the Sixth Sense for an even bigger twist. I'm trying to formulate a response to the trailer, but I can't get past the sight of Forrest Gump Jr.in daisy dukes.

Rabbitt: That was definitely even more surprising than seeing Megan Fox. This trailer reminds me of one of my all-time favorite films Little Miss Sunshine (the recent standard for dysfunctional movie families). I’m still mildly upset Abigail Breslin didn’t win the beauty pageant. "SuperFreak"! Come on, judges! Sassy Pants looks like it is on the same wavelength. It will combine funny, heartwarming, and awkward moments to show us that family matters.  Because, as days go by, it’s the bigger love of the family...

Casa de mi Padre

Rabbitt: One thing our loyal reader(s) may not know about me is... I don't like to read. I avoid it whenever possible. That is one of the great things about movies. Why read Hunger Gameswhen the movie comes out in March AND Jennifer Lawrence is in it. Someone just said this to me the other day, "I finished Hunger Games in 30 hours." It won't take me nearly that long to watch it. That said, I'm torn on this one due to my half Puerto Rican heritage. I can understand enough of this movie to get the gist without reading... but I probably won't get all the jokes. (#firstworldpains!) I imagine this will be like most Will Ferrell movies: some really funny parts, some really stupid parts... but in Spanish & subtitled. Bueno.

Hammock: First of all, Stephan, I highly recommend reading the Hunger Games trilogy because it's fantastic. Of course, so is Jennifer Lawrence, so by all means see the movie too. (Sigh) Jennifer Lawrence. There's something about her... a certain mystique, if you will. Anyway, I do like reading, but I'm not sure if I want to do it at the movie theater. Sometimes it's worth it, but clearly this movie is no City of God. Maybe I'll play this one like you, Stephan, and rely on my four years of Spanish so I don't have to read, but I'm pretty sure I've forgotten too much for that to be effective. Que lastima. All in all, I'm on the fence about this one, but Nick Offerman sneaking in at the end of the trailer is definitely a plus.

Neither David Hammock nor Stephan Rabbitt are opposed to hanging out with Jennifer Lawrence. You can follow them both on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.

Oh, Inverted World: My Decade with Wes Anderson and the Shins

You gotta read this post... it'll change your life.

This time ten years ago, I was a senior in high school. Sadly, my favorite bands were probably Green Day and Linkin Park and my favorite movie was, sigh, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. A year later, that all changed. It happened a little like in the movie Garden State. No, I wasn't encouraged to listen to the Shins by Natalie Portman at a doctor's office, but the Shins were indeed brought up in conversation by a cute girl I sat next to in PSYCH 1101 my freshman year at Georgia Tech. At the time, I had never heard of the band. I simply nodded in agreement as she lauded the Shins debut album. Somewhat curious and eager to impress the girl, I made a note to give the album (Oh, Inverted World) a listen. That afternoon, I heard Caring Is Creepy, New Slang, and the rest of the record for the first time and entered the fantastic world of indie rock.

I became an indie sponge. A hipster-in-training. Out went System Of a Down and Staind and in came Wilco and Death Cab For Cutie. I read up on bands and started going to shows. I think I downloaded every album Pitchfork recommended that year. The Shins had completely changed my taste in music.

Soon, the thirst for better music became a thirst for better movies. I got into Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie and spent hours trying to figure out the meanings of Donnie Darko, Magnolia, and Mulholland Drive. No film, however, had as big an impact on me as Wes Anderson's Rushmore. There was and is something about that movie that stuck with me. Whether it's the witty dialogue, the detailed direction, the terrific soundtrack, or simply the story of young, unrequited love, Rushmore moved me then and still moves me today. It is and probably always will be my favorite movie.

So why this nostalgic David Hammock decade in review? It just so happens that both of the aforementioned major cultural influences released previews of new projects this past week. Below you will find Simple Song, the first single from the Shins' new album Port of Morrow, as well as the trailer for Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson's latest effort. Though a decade has passed since I first fell in love with these two artists, I still get excited every time they put out something new. The new album and movie may never be as poignant or as life-altering as their work was to me years ago, and maybe I don't want it to be, but maybe it's the launching point for another college freshman's path to creative discovery... or maybe they'll change my life again... I hear Shins songs can do that.

Sic Transit Gloria,

David Hammock


Simple Song by The Shins

PCD Monday #2

Odds and Ends

Vegetarian

Whenever I hear that someone's a vegetarian, I automatically feel bad for them. I picture them eating celery and lettuce all day every day. I bet that's not the case though. I bet vegetarians eat a ton of candy. I bet it's like, "I can't have a hamburger for dinner, sooooo I'll just have 18 bags of skittles instead!" I bet all the characters from Candyland are vegetarians.

Tolerant advice-giver

There's a commercial sponsored by the NBA, starring NBA players, that urges viewers not to use the word "gay" in a negative light. The commercial shows kids playing basketball and trash-talking, with the first three lines going something like, "the last time you blocked somebody was online" or something dumb like that. Then the fourth line says something like, "your moves are gay," then the NBA players step in and scold the gay comment. I'm fine with trying to get people to not use gay in that way. It probably is hurtful to some people. What I'm not fine with is the NBA telling me not to say it. Really? The NBA? Where the players can't go five minutes without swearing, fighting, and getting arrested? Where the season started a month late because its members are all greedy? THAT NBA is telling me what to say? Right. I'll refrain from calling things gay because it can hurt feelings, not because of your ridiculously lame, hypocritical commercial. Quit calling others out and call some travelling.

Is that you, Ev?

I'm 90% sure the waitress at the Village Cafe in Clayton is Ev from the Real World. To be certain, next time I go, I'm not gonna be polite and see if she starts getting real.

Totally deserves it.

How did the hand-dryer come about? Was the inventor like: "Ugh, these paper towels are getting my hands way too dry. I just gotta invent something that leaves them inconveniently wet so my hands are all drippy like they're meant to be."? I guess they're more eco-friendly, but I'm willing to kill some trees for dry hands. Forests are overrated. And we only have to kill the bad trees, like the one that eats Charlie Brown's kite or the evil one from Lord of the Rings or maybe the Whomping Willow if need be.

Toast on drums

How come rappers hardly ever form bands? It's always like T.I. featuring Drake/Lil Wayne/Snoop Dogg/Kid Cudi/Vanilla Ice/Rick Ross/Young Jeezy/50 Cent/The Game. Just form a band. It's like breakfast. They call it breakfast, not Pancakes featuring Eggs/Bacon/Toast/Grits/Applesauce/Milk.

The key to a woman's heart

I think if I could somehow combine Pinterest, the Bachelor, and Ryan Gosling, I could control 95% of the women of the world.

FoW Movie Trailer Rundown

In addition to TKAA, I write for the blog Fistful of Words on a weekly basis. Recently, FoW asked me to team up with high school friend Stephan Rabbitt on a movie trailer review column where we watch trailers for upcoming films (both good and bad) and comment on them. It may sound a little dull, but it turned out to be fun and humor-driven so I think you'll like it:

FoW Movie Trailers Rundown

By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

From the ridiculous to the ridiculously awesome, movie trailers are always the best. But it's not just the watching that makes movie trailers fun. Cracking jokes, sharing our unbridled excitement, or reacting in utter horror at a bad casting choice. Those are the things make movie trailers so great. In this regular feature, funnyman David Hammock and self described "trailer addict" Stephan Rabbitt will be emailed a batch of new or buzzworthy trailers. What ensues is what you can read below. The trailers aren't all good. In fact, some are downright awful. But that doesn't mean you can't have a good time reading Stephan's and David's reactions. Enjoy!

Haywire

Hammock: This film stars MMA standout Gina Carano (the only female mixed martial artist I've ever heard of besides Chun Li). Since the trailer is about as long as an MMA round, I'll treat it as such. The trailer is about to start. I'm pumped. I'm in it for the long haul. Then, five seconds in, Channing Tatum shows up and I'm forced to tap out. Round over. Okay, not really, but this trailer didn't really have a fighting (haha, fighting) chance with me. Despite having a soft spot for fellow Atlanta native director Steven Soderbergh, this movie and others like it don't particularly interest me. I don't doubt that the movie will be well-made with Soderbergh at the helm. With Ewan McGregor and Michael Douglas it'll be well acted too, but for an action/thriller to appeal to me, there's gotta be a guaranteed great story... and I don't expect that here. My bet is that Haywire is a lot like Taken. That's a good thing for some crowds, but for me that means it's only a decent rental... though Miss Carano is certainly more entertaining to look at than Liam Neeson.

Rabbitt: Thanks, David.  You are 100% responsible for new found ability to name exactly one female MMA fighter. Miss Carano was also a part of another powerful fighting force…American Gladiators!  She played the gladiator Crush in the failed reboot of the most amazing show on television from my childhood.  With that in mind, (with this genre of movie really) the director just needs to ask you one question, “Are you not entertained? Is that not why you’re here?!” Fine, two questions. Since no one is going to mistake this for a Best Picture candidate, the key for me is to make sure the entertainment value isn’t overwhelmed by a dreadful storyline and poor acting.  With Soderbergh in the director's chair and a slew of reputable actors in tow, I think this one has a chance to be success story. Carano performing her own stunts adds some credibility to the fighting scenes and I am a huge fan of Michael Fassbender, who has been really busy in 2011.  I think this movie has just enough to overcome my disdain for Channing Tatum..and maybe I’ll go just to watch Carano beat the crap out of him.

Wrong

WRONG (sundance teaser) from Mr OIZO / Q.DUPIEUX on Vimeo.

Rabbitt: I mean, the trailer is pretty self-explanatory, no? "Why?" That really says it all. It is a huge tribute to whoever made this incredibly short trailer, that it generated as much interest as it did for me. Small snippets of seemingly every scene in the movie leave me with tons of questions. Why? What? How? Who? A few recognizable faces led by William Fichtner (a classic "Hey, that guy" guy) and Alexis Dziena (Entourage, for me) head up the cast of this quirky drama. I've never heard of the writer/director but that Sundance logo has grown to become very enticing to me these days (ripped from the pages of the "Stuff White People Like" calendar). Honestly, I am very interested in this movie. I'll be right there with the rest of you leaving the theater pretending I understand why the clock said 7:60. What? You don't get it?  It's obvious...

Hammock: They sell "Stuff White People Like" calendars? Put me down for two. You know, I watched this Wrong trailer once and had no idea how to respond, so I watched it again, because as we all know, two Wrongs make you write. (Is it too early for "Worst Joke of the Year" nominations?) Alas, I think you hit the nail on the head, Stephan. It's quirky and Sundancy enough to be alluring. The HBO-alum cast of Fichtner, Dziena (whose character inNick and Norah's Infinite Playlist indirectly caused a former girlfriend to break up with me... another story for another time) and the guy who plays Kenny Powers' sidekick make me optimistic about this enigmatic film. So, I'm with you. Let's give Wrong a chance, pretending to get all the parts we don't and laughing hard at the parts we do. What do you say to a 7:60pm showing?

GI Joe: Retaliation

Hammock: Great. More Channing Tatum. Is Channing even a real name? It sounds like it's something you do; like planking or Tebowing. Anyway... I actually saw the first GI Joe movie for the first time a few weeks ago and totes fell asleep, but I managed to stay awake long enough to get the basic idea. Elite fighting squad saves the world. But, oh no! In the sequel, the government murders all the Joes except for the Rock, the chick from Friday Night Lights, and Channing freakin' Tatum! (The government fails us again... R.I.P. whatever Wayans was in the last one.) However will good prevail? By enlisting the help of John McClane of course! With the writers of Zombieland behind this one, there's a chance it won't be completely horrible, but I'll probably never see this movie, so I'll never know... and not knowing is half the battle.

Rabbitt: Victory formation. I should just take a knee on this one. The first GI Joe has been available for free on Netflix Instant for quite some time now. All I have to do is go into the living room and press a couple of buttons and I can watch it for free in the comfort of my own snuggie…and I still haven’t watched it. That's how much I care about this sequel. Did I miss any important plot points… No? Okay, now that I’m caught up…you know how you make a ninja sword fight more dangerous? Conduct said fight while hanging on the side of a mountain, obvi. I agree that the writers of Zombieland give this movie a small glimmer of hope. But,unless they invoke zombie apocalypse survival rule #2 and double-tap ChanningTatum in the title sequence, there is no reason for me to see this movie.

ATM

Rabbitt: I had a hard time with this review. You have the creeper in the Eskimo jacket doing his best Saw XXVI impression on these kids in an ATM in the middle of a parking lot. I have to say, the Eskimo creeper is probably the most sensible person in the entire trailer. I mean, at least he looks prepared for the -3 degree weather. He probably uses credit cards and does most of his banking online, too. I know he wasn't worried at all when he saw those flashing yellow lights either. Anytime you are relying on a parking lot (or mall) security guard for your safety, you have no chance. All the security guard can be good for is a diversion. That Eskimo jacket doesn't look too aerodynamic.  Maybe make a run for it while he's offing the security guard. I probably won't be seeing this one...unless some rumors are circulating as to the identity of the Eskimo creeper... Honey Badger (takes what he wants), Saw clown mask guy (been there, done that), Channing Tatum (thought they were movie reviewers)? What do you make of this one David? Hopefully, more than I could!

Hammock: I'm with you, Stephan. I don't think ATM has a lot going for it other than the ATM booth itself is pretty nice and that the cast doesn't include our friend Channing Tatum. A movie revolving around characters who are trapped in a small space feels like something R. Kelly would come up with. Of course, R. Kelly contributed to childhood favorite Space Jamand the "Ignition Remix" is and will always be the first song on my party playlist, so maybe that's not the worst thing in the world. Still, it seems like a movie set almost entirely in one tiny room is limited and will be relying on the performances from the actors. And I don't know if the kid from Drake & Josh can pull it off. Even if he can, I just don't see what the movie can possibly offer me story-wise. Maybe it will be smarter than I think, but judging by how inexplicably far the car is parked from the ATM in this preview, I'm not expecting much in the smarts department. As much as we've put this movie down, I'm actually pulling for it to do well. Maybe someday it'll even find itself on my DVD shelf... right next to ATL.

LOL: Laughing Out Loud

Hammock: Pass. Oh, I can't pass? @$#&. ATM, you're suddenly looking like an Oscar-worthy flick. I'll be honest, I'm the kind of guy who likes the occasional chick flick, but this looks straight up like Bridget Jones' Diarrhea. Aside from the horrific title and the unintelligible plot, I don't think I can stand 90 minutes of Miley Cyrus. Usually, I stick up for tween stars. I can find good in Bieber and Selena, but there's something about Miss Cyrus I don't like. I think it's that she's a total ho-bag. "Oh she's just being Miley." Shut up, Leslie! The only redeeming part of this trailer is that at the 1:15 mark, the guy is playing guitar in front of one of the Dharma Initiative logos from Lost. Besides that, it was pure torture/ironic fun. So, does look like the worst movie ever? I'm nodding my head like "yeah," moving my hips like "yeah." What say you, Mr. Rabbitt?

Rabbitt: With the writer/director of LoL (the French version), this film promises to be… Sorry, I tried. This is the first time in my life I actually wished I was watching an episode of Punk’d. “LOL” is a remake of a European film, like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo… except there is no wildly successful international book series and instead of adding James Bond, they added Hannah Montana.  The only thing more obnoxious than watching this trailer is that Miley is LOL-ing all the way to the bank for this garbage. SMH.  Bt, Demi…WTF? You are an MTV movie award nominated actress; they don’t just hand those things out to anybody! I love the Dharma initiative reference. I just wish Drive Shaft was playing.  Also, I feel like I’ve seen footage of Miley attemptingto summon the smoke monster before.  IDK, maybe not.  But hey, here’s to ending on a high note.

Neither David Hammock nor Stephan Rabbitt have met Channing Tatum but you can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.

PDC Monday #1

It's a new year and here's a new series I'm introducing; I call it PDC Monday, which stands for Poorly Drawn Comic... Monday. The idea is that every Monday I'll post something I've drawn and you'll laugh. Mostly you'll laugh at how badly I draw, but maybe sometimes you'll laugh because it's ever-so-slightly funny. Either way, I hope you like it.

Possible captions:

"Tut, tut. Looks like racism."

"Things you don't say in the Hundred Acre Hood."

"Christopher Robin, you're in deep Pooh now."

And yes, I'm well aware that the teacher has shoes in the first frame and doesn't in the second. There's a very simple explanation for that. This particular comic took place in the Middle East. The first frame takes place in Saudi Arabia and the second one in Israel. The teacher is Jewish and therefore removed her shoes before stepping onto holy ground. Duh.

All A Twitter 3

Twitter has become the go-to medium for the rich and famous to communicate with the masses. As much as I like hearing about Kate Middleton's day, it's too bad Twitter wasn't invented earlier so we could follow some interesting historical figures instead of vapid celebrities. Here's a look at what could have been:

JRobinsonMLB Jackie Robinson
On 15-Day DL with strained hamstring and broken color barrier :(

50 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

GDub76 George Washington

I cannot tell a lie... Breaking Dawn was pretty good.

244 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

The_Bard  William Shakespeare

Bet my plays wud b better if they actually let women play women's parts. Or at least prettier men. #ryangosling

450 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

RVWzzzzzzzzzz Rip Van Winkle

Gnight twitter

193 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

L'Autre-chienne Marie Antoinette

Let them eat cake. #Sh*tQueensSay

249 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

salemSUX Rebecca Nurse

Accused of being a witch... AGAIN! #whitegirlproblems #crucibullcrap

320 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Pocahonta$$ Pocahontas

hOlyy $&@#! I think that tree jus TaLkEd 2 MEEE!! Gotta lay off dat PeYotE! Lol! :P #redgirlproblems

401 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Eiffel65fan Smurfette

boyz R all the same :/ #bluegirlproblems

? years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

AOakay  Annie Oakley

I'll get my gun when I'm good and ready... GEEZ! #cowgirlproblems

112 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

david_hammock  David Hammock

I miss tan M&Ms :'{( #whiteboyproblems

now years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

In case you missed it: All A Twitter 1 and All A Twitter 2