Monday, October 31, 2011

Strengths and Weaknesses: Frankenstein

It's Halloween and who better to focus on today than one of history's most prolific monsters, Frankenstein? Let's take a look at some of the big guy's strengths and weaknesses.


FRANKENSTEIN


STRENGTHS
  • Only Jewish monster besides Jedidiah the Friendly Ghost.
  • Bolts on neck good for hanging earphones when not in use.
  • Comprised of separate body parts... just like celebrities.
  • Doesn't get angry when people mistake him for the Hulk,  Shrek, or the Phillie Phanatic.
  • I think he mighta been the guy who just married and divorced Kim Kardashian. (Maybe this should go under weaknesses)
  • Never has to dress up for Halloween.
  • Doesn't have a mother, so no chance of developing an Oedipus complex.
  • Colors inside the lines.


WEAKNESSES
  • Lost out on lucrative cereal endorsement deal to Frankenberry.
  • Scar on forehead really should have cleared up by now.
  • No one cares his full name is Frankenstein Jones.
  • Still uses MySpace.
  • Doesn't understand why everyone at Fenway Park is always talking about him.
  • Angry mob always following him with pitchforks, yet hardly any followers on Twitter.
  • Complicated relationship with father, human race. 
  • When at parties, refuses to do any dance besides the monster mash.


    And since it's Halloween, have a look at my pumpkins from the last 2 years. The one on the left is supposed to be Ke$ha. Supposed to be. I went with a far less ambitious approach this year by simply carving the Varsity V and then drawing delicious Varsity food around it.