It's Halloween and who better to focus on today than one of history's most prolific monsters, Frankenstein? Let's take a look at some of the big guy's strengths and weaknesses.
FRANKENSTEIN
STRENGTHS
- Only Jewish monster besides Jedidiah the Friendly Ghost.
- Bolts on neck good for hanging earphones when not in use.
- Comprised of separate body parts... just like celebrities.
- Doesn't get angry when people mistake him for the Hulk, Shrek, or the Phillie Phanatic.
- I think he mighta been the guy who just married and divorced Kim Kardashian. (Maybe this should go under weaknesses)
- Never has to dress up for Halloween.
- Doesn't have a mother, so no chance of developing an Oedipus complex.
- Colors inside the lines.
WEAKNESSES
- Lost out on lucrative cereal endorsement deal to Frankenberry.
- Scar on forehead really should have cleared up by now.
- No one cares his full name is Frankenstein Jones.
- Still uses MySpace.
- Doesn't understand why everyone at Fenway Park is always talking about him.
- Angry mob always following him with pitchforks, yet hardly any followers on Twitter.
- Complicated relationship with father, human race.
- When at parties, refuses to do any dance besides the monster mash.
And since it's Halloween, have a look at my pumpkins from the last 2 years. The one on the left is supposed to be Ke$ha. Supposed to be. I went with a far less ambitious approach this year by simply carving the Varsity V and then drawing delicious Varsity food around it.
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