With Coldplay set to release their 5th studio album, Mylo Xyloto, next week, it's a good time to take a look at some of the band's strengths and weaknesses.
COLDPLAY
STRENGTHS
- More Grammys than Barack Obama.
- Have drawn comparisons to the Beatles, the most famous band in the world... besides Coldplay.
- All band members have British accents, just in case being rock stars isn't a good enough way to get girls.
- If you play their 2nd album "A Rush of Blood to the Head" and the movie "Love Actually" at the same time, it syncs up perfectly.
- New album will go platinum even if recorded on a Yak Bak.
- Appeal to fans of rock, pop, alternative... pretty much every genre except country... and let's face it, country music fans don't deserve to listen to Coldplay.
- They don't panic.
- Got music critics to shut up about Radiohead for five minutes.
WEAKNESSES
- Only 1 of 4 band members married to Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Afraid to tell world Coldplay is actually 2 words.
- Donate lots of time, money, and effort to charity organizations instead of making more music I can listen to.
- Song "Yellow" actually about a bad case of jaundice.
- Occasionally get sunburn from own stage lighting, due to pasty white Brit-skin.
- Probably really terrible at sports.
- Always trying to fix you.
- No one can pronounce Mylo Xyloto.
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