Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Strengths and Weaknesses: Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is in the headlines again after filing for divorce from her husband after only 72 days of marriage. Let's take a look at some of the voluptuous socialite's strengths and weaknesses.


KIM KARDASHIAN

STRENGTHS

  • Easy to keep up with.
  • Actually looks pretty hot when standing next to her sisters.
  • Marriage lasted longer than most of NBC's new fall lineup.
  • Fake tan consistent with fake personality.
  • You can't get STDs from being a media whore.
  • Single-handedly keeping the airbrushing industry in business.
  • While dating running back Reggie Bush, scored more fantasy points than Reggie Bush did.
  • Surprisingly good at Call of Duty.

WEAKNESSES
  • Made a sex tape with Ray J.
  • Made a SEX TAPE with RAY J.
  • Married the least famous person in the entire NBA.
  • If middle name also starts with K, she's got a lot of monogrammed stuff she needs to burn.
  • Giant butt probably means giant farts.
  • If you don't count the wedding reception or honeymoon, only married 14 seconds.
  • Always wants to jump out of own birthday cake.
  • Just all kinds of whorish.