Odds and Ends

• Why do oatmeal cookies always have to have raisins in them? It's like, "Hey David, want a delicious oatmeal cookie? Well, prove it by eating around these shriveled up grapes."

• After enjoying a purple Gatorade, I saw on the bottle that the flavor was called "Fierce Grape." I wonder if the "Fierce" is necessary. Like do people go to the store and catch a glimpse of a purple sports drink, excitedly pick it up, then put it back in disgust when they discover the bottle of grape fluid is devoid of ferocity?

• You know how when someone says, "It's hot in here," somebody else inevitably quips, "Okay, I'll leave."? How come that person never leaves?

• Almost every promo for a show about football has the analysts standing around holding, twirling, spinning, or tossing a football. Is the football necessary? It must be... I challenge you to find a promo that doesn't have a guy with a handful of pigskin. That was a terrible way to put that.

• I feel like there are way too many songs telling me to put my hands in the air. Kanye West, Taio Cruz, Chris Brown, Miley Cyrus, Flo Rida... I'll put my hands in the air when I'm good and ready... and don't even think about telling me that they should stay there, DJ Khaled... that's my decision too.