Thursday, April 26, 2012

Strengths and Weaknesses: Madonna

It's been 33 years since Madonna first arrived on the scene, but she's still making headlines. She's got a new album (MDNA), a new perfume, a world tour, a public divorce, and even a controversial photo up for sale. Let's take a look at what makes the Material Girl so fixating in this installment of Strengths and Weaknesses.



Madonna

STRENGTHS
  • Her music makes the people come together... yeah
  • Seamlessly switches between American and British accents
  • Won a Golden Globe for Evita, which is almost a cool as winning a real award
  • Looks pretty good to be 400 years old
  • Member of every religion
  • Good at divorce
  • Actually looked classy at Super Bowl halftime show surrounded by Nicki Minaj, M.I.A., and LMFAO
  • Voted "Greatest Woman in Rock History" by, oh by VH1. Nevermind

WEAKNESSES
  • Not at all like a virgin
  • Materialistic
  • Uses dance floor as a confessional, which is not approved by the Catholic church
  • Couldn't even beat out the Beatles on Billboard's "Greatest Artists of All-Time" list
  • Omitted like half the letters on her newest album
  • Cone boobs are by far the most dangerous kind of boobs
  • Always telling Argentinians not to cry for her, but doesn't have $#!% to say to the fine people of Uruguay
  • Has kissed Britney Spears and thus, by proxy, has kissed Kevin Federline