Monday, April 16, 2012

FoW MTR: April 13

By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

Lola Versus


Hammock: With The Cults and Young the Giant playing in the background and a title borrowed from a Kinks album, it looks like Lola Versus will at least boast a solid soundtrack. The movie itself... eh, I dunno. I do like Greta Gerwig and I guess it could be one of those touching coming-to-terms-with-being-
single-and-turning-30 kind of movies, but I feel a little burnt out on coming-to-terms-with-being-single-and-turning-30 movies. I'll be willing to give it a shot, but since I'm a man, I'll also be on the lookout for something better. 

Rabbitt: I frequently comment to my office roomie that I should be able to look out the window of my office building and, at any given moment, see a lady stumbling in her heels. It just seems like they are teetering on the edge of disaster with every step. It's not like all pedestrian traffic takes place on flat surfaces. You have sidewalks in need of repair, subway grates, manhole covers, decorative tile patterns, "Zach + Kelly 4ever" engravings, etc. I don't see how there aren't more embarrassing tumbles like Ms. Gerwig experienced at the end of this trailer happening all over the place. Oh, the movie looks okay, too.



Rabbitt: The voice sounds just a little too much like Peter Griffin for me to not think of Peter Griffin when the bear talks. If given the option to either watch the movie or be on set when they filmed the Walberg v. Bear fight scene, I'd choose the fight scene 100% of the time. That had to be hilarious to watch. The actual movie? Maybe not so much.

Hammock: Ted. Like short for Teddy Bear. I get it! It only gets better from there as evidenced by the scene where the cute little bear humps the checkout scanner. Ugh. I'm sure this movie will be moderately funny, but I feel like I've seen the whole cute, fuzzy, foul-mouthed shtick before. Ted's voice does sound a little too much like Peter Griffin's, Stephan, and since I'm not the world's biggest Family Guy fan, that's not the best thing. Like Family Guy, Ted will probably be full of hits and misses, at least in my eyes, leaving me wanting a movie from the creators of superior comedic cartoons like Futurama or the eternally underrated Home Movies.

Katy Perry Part of Me in 3D

Hammock: It's no secret which "part of her" has made Katy Perry famous. I was also gonna make a joke about the movie being shot in 3DD, but I was beaten to the punch by the geniuses behind the Piranha sequel. Anyway, at the risk of losing all my indie cred, I kinda like Katy Perry... and it's not entirely in an ironic/hipster way. "Teenage Dream" was one of my favorite songs of 2010 and while she has some stinkers, Katy makes more than one appearance on my iPod. That's a little embarrassing to admit, but at least I didn't divulge that I know that her cat is named Kitty Purry and  that her real name is Katy Hudson, but she changed it so as not to be confused with Kate Hudson the actress. Okay, so I like Katy Perry... I'm still never gonna see this movie.

Rabbitt: David, there is no shame in admitting to some KP on the iPod. Girl sings some catchy tunes. This movie was originally intended to be in 2-D until the divorce. Now, it's a giant three dimensional slap in the face to what Russell Brand is missing. Don't feel too bad for yourself though, Russell. There's another man having a worse week than you. He had his own teenage dream when he kissed a girl and he liked it. That's right. I'm looking at you,Bobby Petrino. Did you think you knew a place where the grass was really greener? Well, you DO have to feel like a waste of space, cuz baby you're uh... fired. That's what you get for waking up in Vegas a ditch with a girl half your age that isn't your wife. 


Rabbitt: One last chance for Taylor Kitsch to salvage 2012. I'm pulling for him, but I'm not hopeful. Savages comes out the same week as the Spiderman reboot and Dark Knight Risesfollows two weeks later. There aren't many soft spots in the 2012 movie lineup for something like this to grab much of a foothold. It doesn't look like a movie I would see in theaters to begin with even just to support Kitsch and Demian Bichir, fresh of his Oscar nomination for A Better Life, but always Esteban Reyes to me. At least it looks better than Battleship

Hammock: Wait. Are Tim Riggins and Kick-Ass cool with sharing Serena van der Woodsen? Looks that way. I bet Blair is totally having a jealousy-induced BF right about now. This trailer made my head hurt. Lots of flashing images and loud noises and movie stars. Doesn't Oliver Stone know I have a headache? Savage! I'm not too interested in this one as I am not very much into drugs or murder... at least not at the moment.

I'd like to take a moment now to apologize to MTR punching bag, Channing Tatum. I saw 21 Jump Street and you were actually pretty funny in it, Channing. There's your niche... teen comedy. I'll understand if you don't forgive me after all the mean things I've said about you in our weekly rundowns, because honestly, I'll probably never forgive you for Dear John.