Music Video Monday: May 7

This week's installment of Music Video Monday includes a first look at "adult" Bieber and a trip to Iceland:

Justin Bieber - Boyfriend

I'm not one to wanna hate on The Biebs, but the kid has gotta meet me halfway. The gold shoes, the earrings, the Jimmy Neutron haircut; you look like giant tool, Justin... and not a cool tool like a chainsaw... like a plunger. The song itself is okay I guess, though I wouldn't suggest likening oneself to Buzz Lightyear as a way to impress the ladies. I dunno, maybe that line has an implied Woody innuendo that I'm just not smart enough to get. Could be, because Mr. Bieber does seem to be following in the footsteps of another Justin, Mr. Timberlake, who said Bye Bye Bye to *NSYNC and his boy band image to don a more adult persona. Of course, Bieber is [Buzz] light years away from being taken seriously as an adult artist and that trend will continue until he can release a song that doesn't contain the word swaggy.

Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks

Finally, an Icelandic band with a name that's not hard to spell. (I'm looking at you, Quarashi.) Little Talks has been out for a few months now, but I just recently saw the video. Fantastic. Or as they say in Iceland: Björk. I love the animation style, which reminds me a little bit of Smashing Pumpkins' eminent Tonight, Tonight video. So, is this what Iceland is like? I had written it off as evil after seeing D2: The Mighty Ducks as a youngster, but now I'm thinking there's more to the country than Gunner Stahl and Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson. Now I doubt I'll be making any trips to Iceland because I'm not a fan of cold weather, but if Of Monsters and Men ever teams up with fellow Icelanders Sigur Rós for a concert around these parts, I'm there.

Rules For Riding In My Car

Car, girls, and flags pictured may or may not actually be mine

1. No smoking.

2. If you're a hot girl, disregard Rule #1. Do whatever you want.

3. If Hey Ya is on, don't change the station.

4. Don't open the glove compartment. Everything will fall out.

5. Don't put your feet on the dashboard.

6. If you're a hot girl, disregard Rule #5. Do whatever you want.

7. Always wear a seat belt.

8. Never wear socks with sandals.

9. No country music.

10. You can eat, but make sure the food gets in your mouth. Also, if you're eating fries, every fifth one goes to me.

11. If they're Checkers fries, every third one goes to me.

12. If you're a hot girl, Rule #11 still applies. You can't possibly think you can just do whatever you want.

13. If we stop at a gas station, you're not obligated to buy me anything from inside, but I sure do like watermelon Slush Puppies.

14. Don't scream if I'm about to hit an animal unless it's a cat or a dog or something that could mess up my car. I don't want to swerve and kill myself over a chipmunk.

15. Don't scream if I'm about to hit a Justin Bieber. I don't want to swerve and kill myself over a Justin Bieber.

16. Black people have to ride in the back.

17. Totally kidding.

18. Don't throw trash out the window. The wind could catch it and it could fly back in and hit a black person sitting in the back.

19. Totally kidding again. Not about the trash. Don't litter.

20. No Nickelback.

21. Don't break up with your boyfriend while I'm driving you to his house. (This actually happened once.)

22. If you're a hot girl, disregard Rule #21.

23. On road trips, check to make sure I'm paying attention. I'll drive 100 miles in the wrong direction without noticing.

24. Seriously, I was 100% kidding about Rule #16.

25. Seriously, I was 100% not kidding about Rule #20.

Fun With Potato Famine

I saw a special on the History Channel about the Irish Potato Famine where the narrator asked the viewer to imagine what it would have been like to live during that trying time. It's long been my policy to do exactly what the good people on television tell me to do, so I imagined what life might be like during the Great Irish Famine of the 1840s. Turns out, it wasn't so bad. This is due in most part to me imagining myself in the United States and not Ireland, as the narrator did not specify location. Sure there were no iPhones or internet, but there was plenty to eat and no Justin Bieber ... a pleasant era indeed. But what of my Irish brethren across the Atlantic? What was it like? What if someone I knew was Irish and lived during the Potato Famine? Then it hit me. I do know someone Irish. The band U2. Omg, what if U2 had lived in Ireland during the potato famine?! Why it could have changed the very course of rock and roll!

Songwriters tend to write about what's going on around them. Dylan wrote about counterculture, Lennon wrote about social activism, Ke$ha writes about glitter*... it would make sense that if U2 were around back then that they would have written about the Potato Famine. With hunger as the driving force behind their music, the starving artists would have probably released some slightly different singles. Here's a quick look at what might have been:

• Sunday Bloody Sunday --->
  Sunday Hungry Sunday
• With Or Without You --->
  With Or Without Food
• I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For --->
  I Still Haven't Found Something On My Fork
• One --->
  None
• Hold Me, Kill Me, Kiss Me, Thrill Me --->
  Feed Me, Feed Me, Feed Me, Feed Me
• One Tree Hill --->
  One Wee Meal
• Elevation --->
  Malnutrition
• If God Would Send His Angels --->
  If God Would Send Some Pringles

Who knows what other ways the Potato Famine could have changed U2 and the rock and roll landscape? Would they have been able to practice and master their craft while near the Edge of starvation? Reduced to skin and Bonos, would they have had the strength to play at all? Lucky for the band and their fans, these questions are irrelevant. Personally, I'd be way more upset if Snow Patrol was the Irish band that had to endure the Potato Famine... wouldn't U2?


* This is the 2nd dig I've taken at Ke$ha on this blog in as many months, but let it be known that TKAA has always been and always will be Pro-Ke$ha. In fact, I would like to extend a formal invitation to Miss, um, whatever Ke$ha's last name is, to be the official celebrity ambassador for the blog... unless Katy Perry is available.