Strengths and Weaknesses: Coldplay

With Coldplay set to release their 5th studio album, Mylo Xyloto, next week, it's a good time to take a look at some of the band's strengths and weaknesses.

COLDPLAY

STRENGTHS

• More Grammys than Barack Obama.
• Have drawn comparisons to the Beatles, the most famous band in the world... besides Coldplay.
• All band members have British accents, just in case being rock stars isn't a good enough way to get girls.
• If you play their 2nd album "A Rush of Blood to the Head" and the movie "Love Actually" at the same time, it syncs up perfectly.
• New album will go platinum even if recorded on a Yak Bak.
• Appeal to fans of rock, pop, alternative... pretty much every genre except country... and let's face it, country music fans don't deserve to listen to Coldplay.
• They don't panic.
• Got music critics to shut up about Radiohead for five minutes.

WEAKNESSES

• Only 1 of 4 band members married to Gwyneth Paltrow.
• Afraid to tell world Coldplay is actually 2 words.
• Donate lots of time, money, and effort to charity organizations instead of making more music I can listen to.
• Song "Yellow" actually about a bad case of jaundice.
• Occasionally get sunburn from own stage lighting, due to pasty white Brit-skin.
• Probably really terrible at sports.
• Always trying to fix you.
• No one can pronounce Mylo Xyloto.

Taste the Rainbow

  

The food pyramid is no more. It's gone. I had no idea. Was it even sick? I would have sent flowers had I known. Poor food Egyptians. Anyway, the food pyramid is no longer the go-to reference for youngsters looking to make healthy food choices. (All one of them.) Its replacement? MyPlate. Instead of the tried and true triangle diagram, it's a circle with different sized wedges. Whatevs. I guess that's fine. No big deal, right? WRONG.

You see, it's not just the shape that's changed. My mom, who teaches 2nd grade and has to share the new MyPlate with her students, tells me that the biggest change is the focus on color. In an effort to simplify things for the kiddies, children are now told to simply try to make their plates colorful. A healthy plate is one with lots of different colors.

Now, I know what they're getting at. Most veggies are green. Grains are brown and white. Dairy is yellow or white. Fruits are red, orange, purple, blue. Meat is red or brown. You could construct a pretty healthy meal by going with the color idea. But if I'm a kid and I know I'm supposed to fill my plate with different colors, here's what my diet would look like:

Dinner is served?

BREAKFAST: Jolly Ranchers

LUNCH: Rainbow Sherbet w/ Sprinkles

DINNER: Fun Dip

And remember, these are kids. Kids put all kinds of things in their mouths. I could easily see MyPlate backfire into this diet:

BREAKFAST: Crayons

LUNCH: Glitter

DINNER: An Eric Carle book

Maybe I don't give kids enough credit, but I don't think the whole color thing is a good idea. And what if the kid's colorblind? Can you say eating disorder? I say bring back the pyramid. And while we're bringing back things from my youth, how bout Legends of the Hidden Temple? Now there's something that promotes healthy living. Challenging physical activities, brain-stimulating quizzes, teamwork, blue barracudas... the show had it all. Surely there's room on TV for a show with that much to offer. Do we really need another "cycle" of America's Next Top Model? Haven't we had enough trips down Project Runway? Would anyone miss the Lifetime channel?

Not To Be Cynical...

On the frontpage of ESPN.com, there's a story about a Texas commit who has "great stats and even better character." The tagline says something about his relationship with a young girl who has leukemia. (Wow, I spelled that right on the first try.) Anyway, it says he visits her in the hospital regularly and what not and that's nice and I'm sure he's a standup guy and all, but here's the picture of the sickly little girl:

I think a lot of guys probably showed up at the hospital for her.

It's not that it's not nice, it's just that the way the story began made me expect a much, much younger girl. Good for him though and best of luck to the redhead.