While You Were Testing...

I had to proctor the SAT the other day. Now, taking the SAT can be a long, painful process, but proctoring the SAT is almost as bad. Sure, it's fun to read "fill in the bubble completely" 75 times, but the 25 minutes between announcing "there are no calculators allowed on this section" and "pencils down" can be pretty long ones... and there are 10 sections in all. Yes, it could have been a long 4 hours, but as luck would have it, I found a piece of paper and a box of crayons. The following is what happens when you give me a piece of paper, a box of crayons, and a whole lot of free time:

Yes, I know Ketchup Kitty is kinda pink, but I wanted to save the red crayon for Hot Sauce Hamster and the pinkish color was the only other option. You know how it is.

All A Twitter 2

by @david_hammock

Twitter has become the go-to medium for the rich and famous to communicate with the masses. As much as I like hearing about Ashton Kutcher's day, it's too bad Twitter wasn't invented earlier so we could follow some interesting historical figures instead of vapid celebrities. Here's a look at what could have been:

GraysTraveller Robert E. Lee 

SOUTH>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

150 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

TrickyDick Richard M. Nixon

(This tweet has been removed.)

38 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

1Fish2Fish  Dr. Seuss

I would not, could not post your tweet. I said it once, I won't repeat. I won't retweet it @SamIAm. I'll send your message straight to spam.

40 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

RoughRIDER Teddy Roosevelt

Bull Moose party rules! Also toga parties ;)

110 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

BlackFemaleMoses  Harriet Tubman

@Slave_Owners - Nothing going on this weekend. Pretty boring up here in the North. Might rent Green Lantern on Blu-ray, but that's about it. #TheCrowFliesAtMidnight

146 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Agent007 James Bond

Just totaled my Aston Martin :( I'm okay, but the other guy was pretty shaken #notstirred

33 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

TheRealThing Coca-Cola

The pause that refreshes.
Retweeted (poorly) by Pepsi-Co

every day Favorite Retweet Reply

The_King Elvis Presley

@teenage_girls *shakes pelvis*

52 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Future_Prdctr1503  Nostradamus

Count on these tragedies: Great Fire of London, rise of Adolf Hitler, September 11, BCS National Championship game featuring two teams who have already played!

478 years ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Birthday Wishes

Friday is my birthday. This, dear reader, is obviously very important to you. Okay, it's not. But I find that if people know it's your birthday, they're a lot nicer, kinder, and more generous toward you... and that's never a bad thing. I can feel the good vibes already.
Anyway, I just wanted to share with you some of the birthday wishes that I'll be making as I blow out the candles on my cake this year in hopes that they'll come true. I know that supposedly wishes don't come true when you share them with others, but I wished for a dinosaur 12 straight birthdays without telling a soul and never got one, so maybe blogging your wishes is the way to go.

Wish #1: To be able to listen to the radio for five minutes without hearing Adele.

I don't dislike Adele. I'm fine with her and her music, but I've heard "Rolling in the Deep" 374 times... today. Adele, I appreciate the fact that there's a fire starting in your heart and all, but I'd kinda like to listen to some music from someone with a last name for a change.

Wish #2: That a Taco Bell would open up nearby.

Good for the heart... attack

The closest Taco Bell to my house is over 30 miles away. That's straight up un-American. Sure, having not eaten Taco Bell in the last six months has probably added 10 years to my life, but sometimes you just need a 99 cent chicken burrito.

Wish #3: Katy Perry

Russell Brand? C'mon. You can do better than that. I'm funny, I can do a British accent, AND I wash my hair. What exactly do I want with Katy Perry? All that free Proactiv... duh.

Wish #4: For just one, ONE of my teams to win a title.

No need to wrap, there's already a bow

No team I cheer for has won a major title since 1995. That's 16 years. My fan title drought now has a driver's license.

Wish #5: Share

If you like the blog... and let's face it, if you've read this far down, you probably do a little bit... then share it with your friends. Heck, share it with your enemies. Follow the blog, like the facebook page, tweet it, re-tweet it, re-tweet that, #overkill. All that good stuff. It's my birthday, you kinda have to. Thanks to everyone who does keep up with the terribly-titled TKAA... I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it.