Sprucing Up the Ol' Résumé... Part 3

Part 1, Part 2

Even more special skills...

41. Uses similes like a boss.

42. Skilled at Casual Friday.

43. Doesn't waste paper... footballs.

44. Wrote hilarious office-themed screenplay called Finding Memo that is just delightful.

45. Not that racist.

46. Can drive an automatic.

47. Keeps collection of Beanie Babies' tags in mint condition.

48. Goes with anything.

49. Likes ultimate frisbee, but doesn't neglect regular frisbees.

50. Owns whatever CD you're listening to on vinyl.

51. User-friendly.

52. Low self-esteem, but very high other types of esteem.

53. Thinks both inside and outside the box. Also on top of the box.

54. Seen every episode of both the UK AND the US Office, which I'm pretty sure gives me dual citizenship.

55. An animal lover, not an animal fighter.

56. Isn't afraid of old people anymore.

57. Can't play any instruments, but really good at listening to music.

58. Vegan... except for during breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

59. Votes sometimes.

60. Fluent in... can you speak French? No? Yeah, fluent in French.

Sprucing Up the Ol' Résumé... Part 2

More special skills...

21. Good at lunch breaks.

22. Allergic to not succeeding.

23. Fills that hard-to-fill "white male" quota.

24. Always picks tails in a coin flip... so, loyal.

25. Never used steroids. Well, I never inhaled.

26. Never joined Pen 15 club in high school.

27. Tolerant... except of lactose.

28. Looks both ways before crossing anything (the street, t's, picket lines).

29. Never ends a sentence in a preposition.

30. Has ability to make anyone look tan simply by standing next to them.

31. Doesn't like cake very much, so more for others on co-workers' birthdays.

32. Good with children.

33. Great with adults.

34. Hasn't cut wisdom teeth yet, so could possibly get even wiser.

35. Keeps up with current events/Kardashians.

36. Doesn't know the meaning of the word quit... but willing to learn.

37. Snazzy dresser.

38. Snazzy armoire.

39. More humble than anyone.

40. Can tell you how to get to Sesame Street.

Here's Part 1 if you missed it

Sprucing Up the Ol' Résumé...

Let's see, special skills:

1. Figured out how to put accent mark over the e in résumé on the computer.

2. Able to tell the Olsen twins apart.

3. Mature enough to not laugh when I say I have a BS from Georgia Tech... sometimes.

4. Good at Words With Friends.

5. One time, found 2 four-leaf clovers in one day.

6. Never owned slaves.

7. Good at choosing which restaurant to eat at when no one else wants to make a decision.

8. Tall.

9. Knows sign language... is how deaf people communicate.

10. Has that app that tells you who sings that song that's playing on the radio.

11. Portable.

12. Has zero weaknesses.

13. Works well with others who work well with others.

14. Knows not to wear navy with black.

15. Synergy.

16. Tips well.

17. Doesn't shout at the screen during movies.

18. O+ blood type... the universal donor.

19. Never had a cavity.

20. Can type 90 words per minute... if you don't mind mistakes.