Shut Up and Play the Hits

It's inevitable. A band puts out a few successful records and it thinks it has the right, nay, the obligation to turn the stage into a political soapbox. I don't mind musicians speaking out about what they believe in, but sometimes it's hard to take certain artists seriously. For instance:

Advocate for social change, popping tags

Macklemore - I saw Macklemore (and Ryan Lewis... poor guy, he gets no cred) at a free show in Atlanta in the spring. He spent a good five minutes lecturing the crowd on marriage equality. That's all good and well, but people don't exactly line up to get political lessons from a dude who raps about zebra jammies, velcro shoes, and R. Kelly's urine. Seems as though Mr. Macklemore had an agenda in his pocket to go along with that $20.

Green Day - The band dedicated an entire album to the Election back in 2004 and have made a habit of political grandstanding throughout their careers. Whether you agree with Billie Joe and Co. or not, you've gotta admit that it's tough to heed political advice from a band named after marijuana with a propensity to name their albums after feces.

Incubus - Back in college, Incubus was one of the biggest rock bands in the world and boy did they hate George W. Bush. They even released a single called Megalomaniac that compared him to Hitler. Now, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it's difficult to take their criticism of the former president seriously knowing that their band is named after a demon who has intercourse with women in their sleep.

The Dixie Chicks - Regardless of whether or not they're ready to make nice, I can't in good conscience take their political message to heart knowing that they murdered that poor Earl fellow. With black eyed peas nonetheless! I'm still unsure if they actually poisoned a can of black eyed peas or if they killed Earl by making him listen to the band of the same name. Both are lethal.

Toby Keith - It's hard enough to trust a man with two first names, but it's exceptionally difficult to take his uber-patriotic message seriously knowing that he gives beer to his horses. And what's with the entire song dedicated to a red solo cup? That's not very environmentally friendly. (If you're thinking I threw in a Conservative here at the end in an attempt to even things out a little bit... you're right.)

The point I'm trying to make here (in a very roundabout way) is not that we shouldn't trust musicians for political advice (though you shouldn't), but that we as individuals should think about our baggage when we take up a cause. For instance, if I were to take up a cause on Facebook, I need to realize that the same people who read my posts on said cause are also probably going to find the link to this silly blog. Just as I'm prone not to embrace political advice from Macklemore thanks to his song "Thrift Shop," others probably wouldn't take my views seriously because I named the Kool-Aid guy a Black History Month hero. And that's fine. In the same vein, before you change your profile picture to this or this or, Lord help me, rant about Trayvon, it's probably a good idea to make sure you (and everything you post) make you a decent representative for your causes and viewpoints. It's a good thing, even a noble thing, to fight for what you believe in and there are a lot of extremely worthy causes out there, but are we as people (especially young people) so arrogant as to assume that we're doing the cause a favor simply by attaching our name to it? Sometimes the best way to further your cause is to not be a visible part of it.

The Politics of Tweeting

When it comes to politics, I lean pretty far to one side of the aisle. Which side? Doesn't matter. If you know me personally, you know whether I'm a Democrat or a Republican, but otherwise you may not. This is because I very rarely blog, post, or tweet about politics. Why do I refrain from weighing in on such a rich topic? Is it because I don't have strong opinions? Is it because I don't think the issues are important? No. It all boils down to one simple fact: I don't know all that much about politics.

And neither do you.

I remember my first meme

I feel like this is a simple truth which many people refuse to accept. Obviously, I'm not speaking to everyone. There are a lot of folks out there who know politics inside and out. They've devoted an extensive amount of time to learning about government, economics, society, etc. and have informed and well-founded opinions on politics. You're probably just not one of them. I'm know I'm not. I'm not saying you're not smart -- you're probably very intelligent. I mean, you're reading this blog aren't you? But being intelligent and having a working knowledge of the issues doesn't make you a political expert. Now, you don't have to be a political aficionado to tweet your opinions, but don't make the mistake of thinking that you are one. If you're going to post an unfounded opinion or knee-jerk reaction to a quote or a debate, don't get all upset when people poke holes in your argument.

So funny I almost fell off my platform

Unintelligent tweets aren't even the greatest offenders; it's the uncreative ones that really get to me. I mean, I understand that NObama is a catchy slogan. Kudos to the first person who thought of that phrase (probably an eight-year-old in Barack's 2nd grade class), but it's a little played out... and it's not helping your cause. When I read #NObama, I read it like this, which I guess is fine if that's what you're going for, but don't expect anyone who is actually on the fence about who to vote for to see it in a positive light. Same goes for the other side. I get it. Mitt Romney is a rich white guy. We're all familiar with First World Problems. Next. I'm not saying don't make jokes... I'm saying make better ones. Just don't regurgitate some tired hashtag and expect it to be funny or poignant and don't couple it with a serious statement and expect it to be taken seriously.

In the end, I don't think it's wrong to tweet about politics, I just think you're setting yourself up for failure if you do. When it come to politics, the layperson just usually isn't informed or witty enough to tweet anything worthwhile... but hey, what do I know? I voted for _______.

I Have A (Ice)Dream

Hot-button issues that make their way into the realm of Facebook and Twitter are the worst. It doesn't matter what the issue is, whether I feel strongly about it or not, it's the worst. Extremists on both sides regurgitating quips from strangers, constantly trying to outdo each other -- it always just turns into a shouting match.

Gay or straight, Hot Browns are fabulous

The current Chick-fil-a debacle is no different. Chick-fil-a COO, Dan Cathy, has recently come under fire for admitting that his company supports the traditional family, thereby implying that the restaurant's stance on homosexuality is... well, against. You've got your liberal left-wingers screaming intolerance and your conservative right-wingers yelling family values and while I have my opinions on the subject, I mostly just hate both sides for being such jerks about it. I get why the liberals are upset and I understand where the conservatives are coming from, but mostly I just want this all to blow over.

A person's a person, no matter how small

Just as I don't let the political ideologies of my favorite bands affect the way I feel about their music, I couldn't care less about the political ideologies of my favorite fast food chains -- especially restaurants like Chick-fil-a. Chick-fil-a is freaking delicious. Their stores are always clean, their employees are always friendly and competent, and oh my gosh, have you ever tasted Hot Brown? I don't even know what's in a Hot Brown, but I know that if all the people arguing over this anti-gay issue would eat one that the fight would end. Also, Chick-fil-a does a lot of good in the community -- have you seen all the houses they've built for dwarfs?

So, why write this piece if I'm more interested in a side of waffle fries than a side of the argument? Because I think I have a way to resolve this. As everyone knows, the fast food industry is like a big family. McDonald's is the dad, Burger King is the mom, and Wendy's is the red-headed step child. On second thought, maybe Burger King should be the dad and Dairy Queen should be the mom and... you know what? Never mind. Just know that fast food restaurants love each other dearly. That's why, with Chick-fil-a under the gun, it's time for the rest of the family to pitch in to take some of the heat off their brother. How? By taking one for the team -- by being so intolerant that any perceived intolerance on Chick-fil-a's part doesn't seem so bad:

Burger King proudly presents: The Whites-Only Whopper! 

Repeal your hunger along with the 14th Amendment! Purchase one and get a separate but equal Whites-Only Whopper at half price!

McDonald's introduces: The Bigot Mac!

Two all-beef patties (Hindu intolerance), special sauce, lettuce, cheese (lactose intolerance), pickles, onions on a faith-like-a-mustard-seed bun (religious intolerance). Oh, and bacon! (Antisemitism)

Taco Bell announces: Doritos Loco Border Control Tacos!

You won't be able to conquer this huge wall of beef, lettuce, and cheese! All customers must provide proof of citizenship and speak English.

Obviously, this idea wouldn't work. Burger King doesn't have the power to repeal amendments to the United States Constitution and even if they did, it would greatly upset a large number of people who worked hard with another King one half-century ago to guarantee African-Americans the right to eat Whoppers... and, you know, to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I guess the real purpose of this post (other than to show off my knowledge of the Chick-fil-a menu) is to make light of a situation that is being taken way too seriously -- at least in my opinion. I have a (ice)dream, that one day we will once again live in a nation that simply wants to Eat Mor Chikin.

P.S. - No need to thank me, Chick-fil-a. It was my pleasure.

Black History Month "Great" Black Person #8

Black History Month "Great" Black Person #8 of 29

Barack Obama

Me and B-Rock may not always see eye to eye, but he is the President, so I should probably respect that. It is nice to see a man with big ears that stick out hold an esteemed position. It gives big-eared people like me hope. Anyway, my mama said if you don't have anything nice to say, to not say anything at all... so this one is pretty short.

State of the Blog

I wasn't actually going to address the state of this blog in this post, but maybe just a little addressing wouldn't be so bad:

I have written and edited this blog for six months and let me tell you, the state of this blog is STRONG! This baby is recession proof! Of course, this can mostly be attributed to it being free... and not the type of free that the founding fathers were always jabbering about... free as in it doesn't cost money.

Okay, enough of that. The real purpose of this post is to talk about my amazing track record of not watching the State of the Union address. 27 years, 0 views. It's not that I don't wanna be informed, it's just that it's... well, it's pretty boring. It's the opposite of Sum 41... it's all filler and no killer. But hey, maybe I'm just being ignorant. Or maybe I'm tired of my 9pm show getting bumped. Doesn't matter. What matters is my incredible streak of changing the channel, which I will now detail in great... detail:

Year 1: I was a baby. My brain had yet to fully develop and I therefore didn't feel like I was ready to absorb the political message. (Of course, that never stopped the [insert political party members of your choosing here] from watching!)

Reasons # 2, 6 & 23

Year 2: Sesame Street marathon.

Year 3: I was kinda disillusioned with Reaganomics this particular year.

Year 4: An election year. Didn't wanna get too attached to Reagan in his last year as President.

Year 5: Too busy doing tedious Kindergarten homework.

Year 6: Another Sesame Street marathon.

Year 7: Didn't eat my vegetables at dinner that night and my punishment was not being able to watch.

Year 8: Another election year. Knew it would make me sad to never see a Bush in office again.

Reasons # 9-17

Years 9-16: Didn't watch because I was afraid I might catch a glimpse of Hillary Clinton's face.

Year 17: Again refrained because of the Hillary reason. I knew Bill wasn't President anymore, but I didn't wanna take any chances.

Years 18-21: Too bogged down with Georgia Tech studies to watch... or do anything.

Year 22: Had to work at the esteemed job my Georgia Tech degree got me: Papa John's delivery driver.

Year 23: Another Sesame Street marathon.

Reason # 25

Year 24: Obama's first address. Didn't watch seem reverse-racist by starting to watch now.

Year 25: Too busy reading the Hunger Games trilogy.

Year 26: Too excited about the upcoming Black History Month to watch.

Year 27: Too old for Sesame Street, so I watched a Yo Gabba Gabba marathon on Nick Jr instead.