3/16/12 Edition of Fistful of Words' Movie Trailer Rundown
By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt
Battlefield America
Hammock: I spent my entire childhood playing with GI Joes, not knowing that there existed a fabulous world of competitive children's street dancing. Well, at least I know now... and knowing is half the battle... but "this isn't a battle, this is war."
Rabbitt: I would just really like to see Marquez Houston in more movies. #sh*tnobodysaysexceptmarquezhouston.
TS: Guys, I know that my job with these FoW MTR posts is to find trailers and get out of the way. But I can't do that today. I just can't. You've both given short shrift to a trailer that is so ambitiously awful that I can't sit idly by without sharing my thoughts on this awesomeness brought to us by the people who brought us You Got Served.
0:09- City skyline with raucous stadium cheering. Battlefield = a competition. Got it. But what kind?
0:10- 0:14- "This is the biggest battlefield in American history." Why are there tents indoors with crowds of cheering people?
0:15- ZOMG! Dancing! The battlefield is a dancing competition! Nothing generates more excitement than the line "From the team that brought you You Got Served!" It's like four March Madness buzzer beaters!
0:17- Why do the dancers look like their twelve? What's going on here? Is Battlefield Americaabout the long struggle of youngsters who only want to be on America's Best Dance Crew?
0:35- Dance battles always lead to real battles. Always. This is a cautionary tale.
0:37-0:44- When I said the dancers were twelve, I way overestimated. If anyone in this crew has to look after their little brother, they'd have to carry around a diaper bag. So young. So real. So much dancing.
0:45- 0:48- Black vs. White. Even Obama's election can't solve the entrenched beliefs of these six year olds.
0:50- More child violence. I want to turn away but can't.
1:02 - 1:05- Marques Houston and the evil white guy from Orange County from You Got Served! Are these their kids? Please let them be their children.
1:05 - 1:49 A lot of dancing and some dialogue. I can't pay attention. I'm distracted that the evil white guy from Orange County hasn't changed his ways now that he's a parent. I'm feeling nostalgic. Did Omarion marry Marques Houston sister? Did they live happily-ever-high school? What about college? Did O hit a growth spurt or does he still have to wear lifts to be taller than his girl?
1:50- Looking past how amazing this movie will be, I'm glad that the Hollywood producers placed eight year olds dancing against each other in proper context by calling it a war. You know, especially after everyone on the planet has watched the Kony 2012 video.
I could go on and break down the inevitable Mindless Behavior or Diggy cameos, but I won't. (Knowing about Mindless Behavior and Diggy is definitely something I should throw up on my future Match.com profile). In any event, I look forward to waiting in line to see this movie... at the dollar theater... four weeks after it opens. Can't wait! Now back to you guys.
What to Expect When You're Expecting
Rabbitt: Soundtrack alert: Sleeper Agent's "Get it Daddy" opens up the trailer (see what they did there). Most of this movie was filmed in and around Atlanta, home of the Braves. Much of the trailer footage shows off Piedmont Park. I've seen Sleeper Agent in concert 3 times. I've seen Piedmont Park many times. I will see this movie 0 times.
Hammock: I'd watch this movie just to see Atlanta (my hometown) in the background... kinda like how I like watching The Walking Dead because it's filmed near my old house... and because it's awesome. This is a grab bag cast with some funny people (Jim Dangle and Rob Huebel rocking some Georgia Tech swag!) and ), some people who others think are funny and I don't (Chris Rock, babies) and for some inexplicable reason, Brooklyn Decker. Actually, there are two big reasons Brooklyn Decker is in this or any movie... I think every guy knows what they are... talent and charisma. I'm not as opposed to seeing this one as you Stephan, but I'd much rather see Sleeper Agent in concert... almost as much as Brooklyn Decker would like to see her husband in a Grand Slam final.
Delicacy
Hammock: I told you every French movie starred Audrey Tautou! Now, I don't speak French, but it seems like the point of this movie is that Tautou falls in love with a dude who's Frenchin' ugly. This is a somewhat unexplored theme in American cinema (except in Adam Sandler movies) so leave it to the French to teach us Americans a thing or two about inner beauty. I tell ya, France is really on a roll in Hollywood right now. The Artist, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Napoleon Dynamite, now this... they're le taking ovre.
Rabbitt: You know what is an unexplored theme in French cinema? Diversity. This looks like a nice story with beautiful scenery. Although, it won't beat Piedmont Park with the Atlanta backdrop. Like David, I also do not speak French. However, I can see that our vaguely familiar (but probably not) male lead is big and goofy, runs into glass doors, knocks over wine bottles, and still gets the girl. He must be great at mental math or something.
You can now follow FoW MTR on Tumblr at http://fowmtr.tumblr.com/. Follow David and Stephan on Twitter @david_hammock @itsrabbitt.
Showing posts with label FoW Movie Trailer Rundown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FoW Movie Trailer Rundown. Show all posts
Friday, March 16, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
FoW Movie Trailers Rundown
FoW Movie Trailers Rundown
By David Hammock & Stephan Rabbitt
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Rabbitt: Life was way better when Buffy was around to keep all the vampires off the silver screen. This Abe Lincoln looks like he'd crush at the Lumberjack Games, though.
Hammock: As a history major, I can vouch for the complete historical accuracy of this film. Honest Abe was indeed in a mid-19th century movie about his fantasy life as a vampire hunter. Of course, he only made a brief cameo in the movie... the role of Lincoln was played by John Wilkes Booth. This is, of course, where Booth became so entrenched in his role that he lost touch with reality and began to believe he was Abe and eventually assassinated Lincoln so that he could live life as the one and only President. This assassination, as we all know, took place at the Ford Theater during a viewing of Bridge To Teribithia, thus ending Lincoln's attempt to free the slaves and restore the Union. So close.
Dark Tide
Hammock: By far the best part of the trailer is at the 1:21 mark where I'm fairly certain I saw a killer seal. Aside from that, color me disinterested. I like shark week as much as the next guy, but spending two hours watching Halle Berry try to overcome her completely rational fear of swimming with sharks isn't my idea of fun. Also, I think Dark Tide might be a bit of a racist title.
Rabbitt: This movie is directed by John Stockwell, a.k.a. "Cougar" from Top Gun! Back in his fighter pilot days, he used to think of his wife and kids and how he almost orphaned them before he ever even saw them. Now, he's making movies about swimming with sharks... OUTSIDE THE CAGE! The Coast Guard regrets to inform you that your sons and daughters are dead, because they were stupid. The only reason you need to be diving amongst sharks is if you are looking for Goose's dog tags. And you are spot on about the 1:21 mark, David. What the heck is that!?
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
Rabbitt: I don't know if this movie could be any more up my alley. Great story, great cast. Steve Carrell has really turned out to have a great career. I never saw it coming from Bruce Almighty and The Daily Show (I'm sure he did other things I didn't watch). Keira Knightley is okay too, I guess. And by that, I mean she stole my heart a long time ago. It was actually used as the prop heart in the Pirates franchise.
Hammock: Ditto. It's nice to see Carell succeed. He seems like a normal guy. He's not particularly handsome or an Oscar-chaser... he's just a solid, likable actor. It's also nice to see Knightley playing a character not from Victorian England. Fun fact: You know those programs where you upload a picture of your face and it tells you which celebrity you most resemble? Well I remember doing that a few years back and got Keira Knightley. I take it as a compliment, though personally I've always thought I favor Danny Glover.
Prometheus
Hammock: Hard to argue with a movie that boasts the director of Gladiator, the writer of Lost, Lisbeth Salander, Stringer Bell, an Oscar-winning Monster, Magneto, and that dude that always remembered Sammy Jankis. Rec'd.
Rabbitt: Nice to see Fassbender working again. I was beginning to get worried after not seeing him in a trailer for a couple days. As David points out, Prometheus boasts an incredibly strong lineup. It looks expensive; however, it will have a nice window in June to open without being overrun by the big summer blockbusters.
David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt are planning an expedition to discover a killer seal. You can follow them on their crusade @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Rabbitt: Life was way better when Buffy was around to keep all the vampires off the silver screen. This Abe Lincoln looks like he'd crush at the Lumberjack Games, though.
Hammock: As a history major, I can vouch for the complete historical accuracy of this film. Honest Abe was indeed in a mid-19th century movie about his fantasy life as a vampire hunter. Of course, he only made a brief cameo in the movie... the role of Lincoln was played by John Wilkes Booth. This is, of course, where Booth became so entrenched in his role that he lost touch with reality and began to believe he was Abe and eventually assassinated Lincoln so that he could live life as the one and only President. This assassination, as we all know, took place at the Ford Theater during a viewing of Bridge To Teribithia, thus ending Lincoln's attempt to free the slaves and restore the Union. So close.
Dark Tide
Hammock: By far the best part of the trailer is at the 1:21 mark where I'm fairly certain I saw a killer seal. Aside from that, color me disinterested. I like shark week as much as the next guy, but spending two hours watching Halle Berry try to overcome her completely rational fear of swimming with sharks isn't my idea of fun. Also, I think Dark Tide might be a bit of a racist title.
Rabbitt: This movie is directed by John Stockwell, a.k.a. "Cougar" from Top Gun! Back in his fighter pilot days, he used to think of his wife and kids and how he almost orphaned them before he ever even saw them. Now, he's making movies about swimming with sharks... OUTSIDE THE CAGE! The Coast Guard regrets to inform you that your sons and daughters are dead, because they were stupid. The only reason you need to be diving amongst sharks is if you are looking for Goose's dog tags. And you are spot on about the 1:21 mark, David. What the heck is that!?
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
Rabbitt: I don't know if this movie could be any more up my alley. Great story, great cast. Steve Carrell has really turned out to have a great career. I never saw it coming from Bruce Almighty and The Daily Show (I'm sure he did other things I didn't watch). Keira Knightley is okay too, I guess. And by that, I mean she stole my heart a long time ago. It was actually used as the prop heart in the Pirates franchise.
Hammock: Ditto. It's nice to see Carell succeed. He seems like a normal guy. He's not particularly handsome or an Oscar-chaser... he's just a solid, likable actor. It's also nice to see Knightley playing a character not from Victorian England. Fun fact: You know those programs where you upload a picture of your face and it tells you which celebrity you most resemble? Well I remember doing that a few years back and got Keira Knightley. I take it as a compliment, though personally I've always thought I favor Danny Glover.
Prometheus
Hammock: Hard to argue with a movie that boasts the director of Gladiator, the writer of Lost, Lisbeth Salander, Stringer Bell, an Oscar-winning Monster, Magneto, and that dude that always remembered Sammy Jankis. Rec'd.
Rabbitt: Nice to see Fassbender working again. I was beginning to get worried after not seeing him in a trailer for a couple days. As David points out, Prometheus boasts an incredibly strong lineup. It looks expensive; however, it will have a nice window in June to open without being overrun by the big summer blockbusters.
David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt are planning an expedition to discover a killer seal. You can follow them on their crusade @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
FoW Movie Trailers Rundown
FoW Movie Trailers Rundown
By David Hammock & Stephan Rabbitt
The Amazing Spider-Man
Rabbitt: I'm glad Andy Murray has chosen to give up tennis and focus on acting since there is a 0% chance he is ever going to win a major, it seems. I'm not really up to speed on the entire story of Spidey, but from the cartoons I remember that he had the cartridges to shoot web from his arms. That appears to be back, which I'm sure will please Team Spidey. I don't know enough of the comic to understand where Mary Jane is in this movie... I guess she isn't around? I'm sure this will be very entertaining and make tons of money. People are going to want to get that awful taste out of their mouths from Spiderman 3 and I'm excited to see what Garfield brings to the table as new Spidey. He seems to be spending in inordinate amount of time sans mask, though, no?
Hammock: Yeah, there was definitely a healthy dose of unmasked Spidey in this trailer, but with great hair comes great responsibility... they had to show it off. Though I'm still a little upset that the studio didn't pick Donald Glover to be Spider-Man, I have to admit, the trailer looks as the title suggests... amazing. Spider-Man is one of the cooler superheroes out there, so if Hollywood commits some real talent to it, it's bound to be pretty good. Mary Jane isn't around because Gwen Stacey is the love interest in this one, Stephan. I don't read comic books, but from what I've read about comic books, whether Spidey's true love is Stacey or the ginger is a very polarizing issue. Doesn't matter much to me which girl gets Peter Parker's spidey senses tingling, but I'd say this reboot looks promising and is hopefully more on par with the original Spider-Man movie and Spider-Man 2 than the forgettable third installment.
Safe House
Hammock: At first, Denzel's hairdo made me think this was a trailer for He Got Game 2. It's not. It is, however, another movie about the CIA where the good agent turns bad, but maybe he's not bad after all, or maybe he is, but he's probably good, but is he? The good news for Denzel is that he has Van Wilder protecting him because that kid went to college for like ten years and is therefore prepared for difficult situations like the ones in this trailer. Write that down.
Rabbitt: If this trailer had no soundtrack, my review would be indifferent, at best. But once "No Church in the Wild" gets going, I have a suddenly brighter outlook on the movie. You are 100% correct that we have seen this movie a thousand times. I usually give Denzel the benefit of the doubt, though. As long as no trains are involved, he rarely lets me down (I'm looking at you Pelham 1 2 3 & Unstoppable). But, even if this movie sucks, it will give Jay Pharoah some good material on SNL. So, it's a win, win.
The Kid with a Bike
Rabbitt: This film stars Jeremie Renier as father of the kid with a bicycle. Personally, I would prefer a movie that stars his English-name counterpart, Jeremy Renner. But, we have a Sundance and Cannes sighting, so I'm sure this will be a good movie. This thought is reinforced by the appearance that they spent about 12 Euros on the entire cast's wardrobe for the entire movie, so they should have plenty of money left over for other things. They could have called it, "The Kid in the Red Shirt" and it may have been more relevant to the trailer.
Hammock: I was under the impression that all French movies have Audrey Tautou in them.
Tyler Perry's Good Deeds
Hammock: "You so rich, you ain't even know how much a gallon of milk cost!" You just got served, Tyler Perry, and not by a butler like you're accustomed. Double burn! That'll teach you to be affluent and eloquent. Actually, I don't know how much a gallon of milk costs either, but it's not because I'm rich... I'm lactose intolerant. I'm also Tyler Perry movie intolerant. I've been that way ever since I was denied entrance into one of his movies a few years ago. Turns out it was only For Colored Girls.
Rabbitt: I enjoy that Tyler Perry is branching out to movies that don't have Madea in the title. He is clearly a very smart guy, both in this movie and in real life. I don't know why he keeps doing Madea movies. Probably because they all seem to make $50+ million and they must cost at least a gallon of milk to make...whatever that is.
David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt claim they could beat up Tobey Maguire but think Andrew Garfield seems pretty cool. They are both regular contributors to Fistful of Words. you can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
The Amazing Spider-Man
Rabbitt: I'm glad Andy Murray has chosen to give up tennis and focus on acting since there is a 0% chance he is ever going to win a major, it seems. I'm not really up to speed on the entire story of Spidey, but from the cartoons I remember that he had the cartridges to shoot web from his arms. That appears to be back, which I'm sure will please Team Spidey. I don't know enough of the comic to understand where Mary Jane is in this movie... I guess she isn't around? I'm sure this will be very entertaining and make tons of money. People are going to want to get that awful taste out of their mouths from Spiderman 3 and I'm excited to see what Garfield brings to the table as new Spidey. He seems to be spending in inordinate amount of time sans mask, though, no?
Hammock: Yeah, there was definitely a healthy dose of unmasked Spidey in this trailer, but with great hair comes great responsibility... they had to show it off. Though I'm still a little upset that the studio didn't pick Donald Glover to be Spider-Man, I have to admit, the trailer looks as the title suggests... amazing. Spider-Man is one of the cooler superheroes out there, so if Hollywood commits some real talent to it, it's bound to be pretty good. Mary Jane isn't around because Gwen Stacey is the love interest in this one, Stephan. I don't read comic books, but from what I've read about comic books, whether Spidey's true love is Stacey or the ginger is a very polarizing issue. Doesn't matter much to me which girl gets Peter Parker's spidey senses tingling, but I'd say this reboot looks promising and is hopefully more on par with the original Spider-Man movie and Spider-Man 2 than the forgettable third installment.
Safe House
Hammock: At first, Denzel's hairdo made me think this was a trailer for He Got Game 2. It's not. It is, however, another movie about the CIA where the good agent turns bad, but maybe he's not bad after all, or maybe he is, but he's probably good, but is he? The good news for Denzel is that he has Van Wilder protecting him because that kid went to college for like ten years and is therefore prepared for difficult situations like the ones in this trailer. Write that down.
Rabbitt: If this trailer had no soundtrack, my review would be indifferent, at best. But once "No Church in the Wild" gets going, I have a suddenly brighter outlook on the movie. You are 100% correct that we have seen this movie a thousand times. I usually give Denzel the benefit of the doubt, though. As long as no trains are involved, he rarely lets me down (I'm looking at you Pelham 1 2 3 & Unstoppable). But, even if this movie sucks, it will give Jay Pharoah some good material on SNL. So, it's a win, win.
The Kid with a Bike
Rabbitt: This film stars Jeremie Renier as father of the kid with a bicycle. Personally, I would prefer a movie that stars his English-name counterpart, Jeremy Renner. But, we have a Sundance and Cannes sighting, so I'm sure this will be a good movie. This thought is reinforced by the appearance that they spent about 12 Euros on the entire cast's wardrobe for the entire movie, so they should have plenty of money left over for other things. They could have called it, "The Kid in the Red Shirt" and it may have been more relevant to the trailer.
Hammock: I was under the impression that all French movies have Audrey Tautou in them.
Tyler Perry's Good Deeds
Hammock: "You so rich, you ain't even know how much a gallon of milk cost!" You just got served, Tyler Perry, and not by a butler like you're accustomed. Double burn! That'll teach you to be affluent and eloquent. Actually, I don't know how much a gallon of milk costs either, but it's not because I'm rich... I'm lactose intolerant. I'm also Tyler Perry movie intolerant. I've been that way ever since I was denied entrance into one of his movies a few years ago. Turns out it was only For Colored Girls.
Rabbitt: I enjoy that Tyler Perry is branching out to movies that don't have Madea in the title. He is clearly a very smart guy, both in this movie and in real life. I don't know why he keeps doing Madea movies. Probably because they all seem to make $50+ million and they must cost at least a gallon of milk to make...whatever that is.
David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt claim they could beat up Tobey Maguire but think Andrew Garfield seems pretty cool. They are both regular contributors to Fistful of Words. you can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
FoW Movie Trailer Rundown
Another gem from FoW:
by David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt
Project X
Rabbitt: I saw this trailer in theaters over the weekend and it got some hearty laughs. There is quite a bit of ridiculousness going on here… not the least of which would be the flamethrower. I have actually been to a Super Bowl party with a flamethrower in attendance, but his name was Goose Gossage. I won’t be seeing this one, David. I did, however, find the MPAA rating and reasoning very entertaining: Rated R for crude and sexual content throughout, nudity, drugs, drinking, pervasive language, reckless behavior and mayhem - all involving teens.
Hammock: This movie looks like it was written and directed by Andrew WK. I'm not adamantly opposed to seeing a "party movie" (on Netflix), but I have this theory that when a movie includes little people/midgets just for the sake of having a little person/midget on screen, it doesn't have a lot going for it. Still, I think it has a decent chance for at least a nomination for Best Party Picture at the 2013 Oscars.
Jeff, Who Lives at Home
Hammock: Let me start out by saying that the background song, "Blood" by The Middle East, is one of my top ten all-time favorite songs. Any trailer is automatically made ten times better just by including that song. Even without it, I'm a fan of Jason Segel, Ed Helms, and the Duplass brothers, so this is kinda a must-see for me. Sadly, the more I like the trailer, the more boring my analysis, so I'm hoping the next trailer our editor scrounges up contains some good ol' fashioned Channing Tatum or gay Haley Joel Osment.
Rabbitt: Maybe both? Step Up 5 should be casting soon. I’m with you all the way on this one except for being able to identify the background song –color me impressed. Helms, Segel, and Sarandon need no introduction. I most recently saw Judy Greer in The Descendents but still identify her most with her appearances on Arrested Development as Kitty. I’m really hoping for a deleted scene/outtake in which Helms has to “say goodbye to these!” But seriously, it looks like a great movie.
The Vow
Rabbitt: My turn to identify the background music – Taylor Swift’s "Enchanted!" Somehow, that one isn’t nearly as impressive… and maybe a little embarrassing. This movie honestly doesn’t look terrible and I do like Rachel McAdams. If I got in a car wreck and forgot about the first time I saw it when it was called 50 First Dates and additionally forgot what I thought of Channing Tatum, maybe I’d go see it.
Hammock: To our editor (TS), way to Step Up and get us a Channing trailer. As I've said before, I'm not opposed to the RomCom and this one looks to have some promise. The Vow seems like it's more in league with McAdams' The Notebook, which I liked, than Tatum's Dear John, which I didn't. And Stephan, there's nothing wrong with a little Tay Tay, as long as the rest of the country music genre stays at home
Seeking Justice
Hammock: My friend and I used to have this "game" we played whenever we went to the theater where the goal was to see three consecutive previews that didn't have Nic Cage or a vampire in them. In 2010, that goal was only accomplished twice. No lie. That's how often Nic Cage (and Edward Cullen) puts out a movie. Now, when you're in that many movies, you're gonna have a [few] stinkers: Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, Ghost Rider, Bangkok Dangerous, Next, Knowing. The only Nic Cage movie I've liked recently is Kick-Ass. Still, I like Nic Cage, so maybe Seeking Justice will put an end to his streak of sub-par movies... because Lord knows Ghost Rider 2 won't.
Rabbitt: It’s quite fitting that we end Oscar Nomination week with a Tatum/Cage double-header. Seeking Justice is definitely the best Nic Cage trailer I’ve seen in the last 6 months…then again, even the best sugar-free oatmeal still tastes like cardboard. It’s nice to see January Jones (Mad Men) in a leading role on the big screen and I’m a big fan of Guy Pearce.Memento is one of my all time favorites. I hope for Nic’s sake that you are right and this ends his streak of sub-par movies, but the trailer seems to be lacking something. Oh I know, he didn’t even bother to urinate fire on the title this time.
David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt are waiting anxiously awaiting Channing Tatum's country album, due out later this year. They are both regular contributors to Fistful of Words. You can follow them @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
FoW Movie Trailer Rundown
Another one from Fistful of Words:
Hammock: This is a must-see for fans of the "hand-Jason-Statham-a-gun-and-let-him-run-around-the-city-killing-people" genre... which is pretty much every Jason Statham movie. Speaking of which, do you follow him on twitter?
Rabbitt: If you had given me fifty guesses on who would be playing Adam Scott’s love interest, none of them would have been Megan Fox. It will be interesting to see how she fares in what may be her first real chance to succeed in an acting role (Jennifer’s Body doesn’t count). She’s traded in Megatron, Optimus Prime, and Tyrese for a nice mixture of established and up and coming actors. There have been a few attempts at the loaded cast, interwoven couple story line flicks over the years. Good news: this one isn’t named after a holiday. I think it’s safe to say this one looks a lot more like Love Actually than New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day. I only saw one of the two lousy ones, but I reserve the right to make fun of both.
Hammock: Yeah, Megan Fox does seem out of place, but so would anyone who wasn't inBridesmaids. I'll bypass my thoughts on the whole hey-we're-friends-let's-have-a-kid ridiculousness and instead express how impressed I am that the two leads only need to have sex once to make a baby. This does look like a talented cast, led by personal fave Adam Scott, so I too will assume that this will be better than NYE and V-Day... though those movies can be fun with the right people. Ultimately, I think Friends With Kids hopes to play like Knocked Up: raunchy funny with genuine heart and pathos. My guess is that it will be successful with the critics, though I agree with Jon Hamm about the plot... "it's the worst idea I've ever heard."
Hammock: Oh, wow! Gay adult Haley Joel Osment. I was unprepared for that. M Night Shyamalan should have put that at the end of the Sixth Sense for an even bigger twist. I'm trying to formulate a response to the trailer, but I can't get past the sight of Forrest Gump Jr.in daisy dukes.
Rabbitt: That was definitely even more surprising than seeing Megan Fox. This trailer reminds me of one of my all-time favorite films Little Miss Sunshine (the recent standard for dysfunctional movie families). I’m still mildly upset Abigail Breslin didn’t win the beauty pageant. "SuperFreak"! Come on, judges! Sassy Pants looks like it is on the same wavelength. It will combine funny, heartwarming, and awkward moments to show us that family matters. Because, as days go by, it’s the bigger love of the family...
Rabbitt: One thing our loyal reader(s) may not know about me is... I don't like to read. I avoid it whenever possible. That is one of the great things about movies. Why read Hunger Gameswhen the movie comes out in March AND Jennifer Lawrence is in it. Someone just said this to me the other day, "I finished Hunger Games in 30 hours." It won't take me nearly that long to watch it. That said, I'm torn on this one due to my half Puerto Rican heritage. I can understand enough of this movie to get the gist without reading... but I probably won't get all the jokes. (#firstworldpains!) I imagine this will be like most Will Ferrell movies: some really funny parts, some really stupid parts... but in Spanish & subtitled. Bueno.
Hammock: First of all, Stephan, I highly recommend reading the Hunger Games trilogy because it's fantastic. Of course, so is Jennifer Lawrence, so by all means see the movie too. (Sigh) Jennifer Lawrence. There's something about her... a certain mystique, if you will. Anyway, I do like reading, but I'm not sure if I want to do it at the movie theater. Sometimes it's worth it, but clearly this movie is no City of God. Maybe I'll play this one like you, Stephan, and rely on my four years of Spanish so I don't have to read, but I'm pretty sure I've forgotten too much for that to be effective. Que lastima. All in all, I'm on the fence about this one, but Nick Offerman sneaking in at the end of the trailer is definitely a plus.
Neither David Hammock nor Stephan Rabbitt are opposed to hanging out with Jennifer Lawrence. You can follow them both on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt
Safe
Safe
Hammock: This is a must-see for fans of the "hand-Jason-Statham-a-gun-and-let-him-run-around-the-city-killing-people" genre... which is pretty much every Jason Statham movie. Speaking of which, do you follow him on twitter?
- Went to city to run around and kill people, but forgot my gun #JasonStathamProblems
- Speeding down city street in car with gun, but no one to shoot #JasonStathamProblems
- Have gun and want revenge in the city, but lost driver's license for speeding #JasonStathamProblems
Anyway, I'll pass on this one, mainly because I think it's racist that the little girl with the photographic memory is Asian.
Rabbitt: Man, those Triads must really love their Soduko. I've actually seen a surprising number of Statham movies that I liked: Snatch, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Revolver. Of course, this list leaves out a few more recent Statham ventures like Crank and Transporter. I find it interesting that this trailer mentions that Safe is produced by the same producer as Kill Bill and Inglorious Basterds, trying to associate it with two well-respected movies. But, the fact that those titles were critically-acclaimed likely had more to do with being written and directed by Quentin Tarantino than with being produced by the producer of Safe. In a related story, there is no Academy Award for Best Producer. David, I think Bobby Cox would disagree with calling this one safe. It’s out!
Rabbitt: Man, those Triads must really love their Soduko. I've actually seen a surprising number of Statham movies that I liked: Snatch, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Revolver. Of course, this list leaves out a few more recent Statham ventures like Crank and Transporter. I find it interesting that this trailer mentions that Safe is produced by the same producer as Kill Bill and Inglorious Basterds, trying to associate it with two well-respected movies. But, the fact that those titles were critically-acclaimed likely had more to do with being written and directed by Quentin Tarantino than with being produced by the producer of Safe. In a related story, there is no Academy Award for Best Producer. David, I think Bobby Cox would disagree with calling this one safe. It’s out!
Friends with Kids
Rabbitt: If you had given me fifty guesses on who would be playing Adam Scott’s love interest, none of them would have been Megan Fox. It will be interesting to see how she fares in what may be her first real chance to succeed in an acting role (Jennifer’s Body doesn’t count). She’s traded in Megatron, Optimus Prime, and Tyrese for a nice mixture of established and up and coming actors. There have been a few attempts at the loaded cast, interwoven couple story line flicks over the years. Good news: this one isn’t named after a holiday. I think it’s safe to say this one looks a lot more like Love Actually than New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day. I only saw one of the two lousy ones, but I reserve the right to make fun of both.
Hammock: Yeah, Megan Fox does seem out of place, but so would anyone who wasn't inBridesmaids. I'll bypass my thoughts on the whole hey-we're-friends-let's-have-a-kid ridiculousness and instead express how impressed I am that the two leads only need to have sex once to make a baby. This does look like a talented cast, led by personal fave Adam Scott, so I too will assume that this will be better than NYE and V-Day... though those movies can be fun with the right people. Ultimately, I think Friends With Kids hopes to play like Knocked Up: raunchy funny with genuine heart and pathos. My guess is that it will be successful with the critics, though I agree with Jon Hamm about the plot... "it's the worst idea I've ever heard."
Sassy Pants
Hammock: Oh, wow! Gay adult Haley Joel Osment. I was unprepared for that. M Night Shyamalan should have put that at the end of the Sixth Sense for an even bigger twist. I'm trying to formulate a response to the trailer, but I can't get past the sight of Forrest Gump Jr.in daisy dukes.
Rabbitt: That was definitely even more surprising than seeing Megan Fox. This trailer reminds me of one of my all-time favorite films Little Miss Sunshine (the recent standard for dysfunctional movie families). I’m still mildly upset Abigail Breslin didn’t win the beauty pageant. "SuperFreak"! Come on, judges! Sassy Pants looks like it is on the same wavelength. It will combine funny, heartwarming, and awkward moments to show us that family matters. Because, as days go by, it’s the bigger love of the family...
Casa de mi Padre
Rabbitt: One thing our loyal reader(s) may not know about me is... I don't like to read. I avoid it whenever possible. That is one of the great things about movies. Why read Hunger Gameswhen the movie comes out in March AND Jennifer Lawrence is in it. Someone just said this to me the other day, "I finished Hunger Games in 30 hours." It won't take me nearly that long to watch it. That said, I'm torn on this one due to my half Puerto Rican heritage. I can understand enough of this movie to get the gist without reading... but I probably won't get all the jokes. (#firstworldpains!) I imagine this will be like most Will Ferrell movies: some really funny parts, some really stupid parts... but in Spanish & subtitled. Bueno.
Hammock: First of all, Stephan, I highly recommend reading the Hunger Games trilogy because it's fantastic. Of course, so is Jennifer Lawrence, so by all means see the movie too. (Sigh) Jennifer Lawrence. There's something about her... a certain mystique, if you will. Anyway, I do like reading, but I'm not sure if I want to do it at the movie theater. Sometimes it's worth it, but clearly this movie is no City of God. Maybe I'll play this one like you, Stephan, and rely on my four years of Spanish so I don't have to read, but I'm pretty sure I've forgotten too much for that to be effective. Que lastima. All in all, I'm on the fence about this one, but Nick Offerman sneaking in at the end of the trailer is definitely a plus.
Neither David Hammock nor Stephan Rabbitt are opposed to hanging out with Jennifer Lawrence. You can follow them both on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
FoW Movie Trailer Rundown
In addition to TKAA, I write for the blog Fistful of Words on a weekly basis. Recently, FoW asked me to team up with high school friend Stephan Rabbitt on a movie trailer review column where we watch trailers for upcoming films (both good and bad) and comment on them. It may sound a little dull, but it turned out to be fun and humor-driven so I think you'll like it:
FoW Movie Trailers Rundown
By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt
From the ridiculous to the ridiculously awesome, movie trailers are always the best. But it's not just the watching that makes movie trailers fun. Cracking jokes, sharing our unbridled excitement, or reacting in utter horror at a bad casting choice. Those are the things make movie trailers so great. In this regular feature, funnyman David Hammock and self described "trailer addict" Stephan Rabbitt will be emailed a batch of new or buzzworthy trailers. What ensues is what you can read below. The trailers aren't all good. In fact, some are downright awful. But that doesn't mean you can't have a good time reading Stephan's and David's reactions. Enjoy!
Haywire
GI Joe: Retaliation
From the ridiculous to the ridiculously awesome, movie trailers are always the best. But it's not just the watching that makes movie trailers fun. Cracking jokes, sharing our unbridled excitement, or reacting in utter horror at a bad casting choice. Those are the things make movie trailers so great. In this regular feature, funnyman David Hammock and self described "trailer addict" Stephan Rabbitt will be emailed a batch of new or buzzworthy trailers. What ensues is what you can read below. The trailers aren't all good. In fact, some are downright awful. But that doesn't mean you can't have a good time reading Stephan's and David's reactions. Enjoy!
Haywire
Hammock: This film stars MMA standout Gina Carano (the only female mixed martial artist I've ever heard of besides Chun Li). Since the trailer is about as long as an MMA round, I'll treat it as such. The trailer is about to start. I'm pumped. I'm in it for the long haul. Then, five seconds in, Channing Tatum shows up and I'm forced to tap out. Round over. Okay, not really, but this trailer didn't really have a fighting (haha, fighting) chance with me. Despite having a soft spot for fellow Atlanta native director Steven Soderbergh, this movie and others like it don't particularly interest me. I don't doubt that the movie will be well-made with Soderbergh at the helm. With Ewan McGregor and Michael Douglas it'll be well acted too, but for an action/thriller to appeal to me, there's gotta be a guaranteed great story... and I don't expect that here. My bet is that Haywire is a lot like Taken. That's a good thing for some crowds, but for me that means it's only a decent rental... though Miss Carano is certainly more entertaining to look at than Liam Neeson.
Rabbitt: Thanks, David. You are 100% responsible for new found ability to name exactly one female MMA fighter. Miss Carano was also a part of another powerful fighting force…American Gladiators! She played the gladiator Crush in the failed reboot of the most amazing show on television from my childhood. With that in mind, (with this genre of movie really) the director just needs to ask you one question, “Are you not entertained? Is that not why you’re here?!” Fine, two questions. Since no one is going to mistake this for a Best Picture candidate, the key for me is to make sure the entertainment value isn’t overwhelmed by a dreadful storyline and poor acting. With Soderbergh in the director's chair and a slew of reputable actors in tow, I think this one has a chance to be success story. Carano performing her own stunts adds some credibility to the fighting scenes and I am a huge fan of Michael Fassbender, who has been really busy in 2011. I think this movie has just enough to overcome my disdain for Channing Tatum..and maybe I’ll go just to watch Carano beat the crap out of him.
Wrong
Rabbitt: I mean, the trailer is pretty self-explanatory, no? "Why?" That really says it all. It is a huge tribute to whoever made this incredibly short trailer, that it generated as much interest as it did for me. Small snippets of seemingly every scene in the movie leave me with tons of questions. Why? What? How? Who? A few recognizable faces led by William Fichtner (a classic "Hey, that guy" guy) and Alexis Dziena (Entourage, for me) head up the cast of this quirky drama. I've never heard of the writer/director but that Sundance logo has grown to become very enticing to me these days (ripped from the pages of the "Stuff White People Like" calendar). Honestly, I am very interested in this movie. I'll be right there with the rest of you leaving the theater pretending I understand why the clock said 7:60. What? You don't get it? It's obvious...
Hammock: They sell "Stuff White People Like" calendars? Put me down for two. You know, I watched this Wrong trailer once and had no idea how to respond, so I watched it again, because as we all know, two Wrongs make you write. (Is it too early for "Worst Joke of the Year" nominations?) Alas, I think you hit the nail on the head, Stephan. It's quirky and Sundancy enough to be alluring. The HBO-alum cast of Fichtner, Dziena (whose character inNick and Norah's Infinite Playlist indirectly caused a former girlfriend to break up with me... another story for another time) and the guy who plays Kenny Powers' sidekick make me optimistic about this enigmatic film. So, I'm with you. Let's give Wrong a chance, pretending to get all the parts we don't and laughing hard at the parts we do. What do you say to a 7:60pm showing?
GI Joe: Retaliation
Hammock: Great. More Channing Tatum. Is Channing even a real name? It sounds like it's something you do; like planking or Tebowing. Anyway... I actually saw the first GI Joe movie for the first time a few weeks ago and totes fell asleep, but I managed to stay awake long enough to get the basic idea. Elite fighting squad saves the world. But, oh no! In the sequel, the government murders all the Joes except for the Rock, the chick from Friday Night Lights, and Channing freakin' Tatum! (The government fails us again... R.I.P. whatever Wayans was in the last one.) However will good prevail? By enlisting the help of John McClane of course! With the writers of Zombieland behind this one, there's a chance it won't be completely horrible, but I'll probably never see this movie, so I'll never know... and not knowing is half the battle.
Rabbitt: Victory formation. I should just take a knee on this one. The first GI Joe has been available for free on Netflix Instant for quite some time now. All I have to do is go into the living room and press a couple of buttons and I can watch it for free in the comfort of my own snuggie…and I still haven’t watched it. That's how much I care about this sequel. Did I miss any important plot points… No? Okay, now that I’m caught up…you know how you make a ninja sword fight more dangerous? Conduct said fight while hanging on the side of a mountain, obvi. I agree that the writers of Zombieland give this movie a small glimmer of hope. But,unless they invoke zombie apocalypse survival rule #2 and double-tap ChanningTatum in the title sequence, there is no reason for me to see this movie.
ATM
Rabbitt: I had a hard time with this review. You have the creeper in the Eskimo jacket doing his best Saw XXVI impression on these kids in an ATM in the middle of a parking lot. I have to say, the Eskimo creeper is probably the most sensible person in the entire trailer. I mean, at least he looks prepared for the -3 degree weather. He probably uses credit cards and does most of his banking online, too. I know he wasn't worried at all when he saw those flashing yellow lights either. Anytime you are relying on a parking lot (or mall) security guard for your safety, you have no chance. All the security guard can be good for is a diversion. That Eskimo jacket doesn't look too aerodynamic. Maybe make a run for it while he's offing the security guard. I probably won't be seeing this one...unless some rumors are circulating as to the identity of the Eskimo creeper... Honey Badger (takes what he wants), Saw clown mask guy (been there, done that), Channing Tatum (thought they were movie reviewers)? What do you make of this one David? Hopefully, more than I could!
Hammock: I'm with you, Stephan. I don't think ATM has a lot going for it other than the ATM booth itself is pretty nice and that the cast doesn't include our friend Channing Tatum. A movie revolving around characters who are trapped in a small space feels like something R. Kelly would come up with. Of course, R. Kelly contributed to childhood favorite Space Jamand the "Ignition Remix" is and will always be the first song on my party playlist, so maybe that's not the worst thing in the world. Still, it seems like a movie set almost entirely in one tiny room is limited and will be relying on the performances from the actors. And I don't know if the kid from Drake & Josh can pull it off. Even if he can, I just don't see what the movie can possibly offer me story-wise. Maybe it will be smarter than I think, but judging by how inexplicably far the car is parked from the ATM in this preview, I'm not expecting much in the smarts department. As much as we've put this movie down, I'm actually pulling for it to do well. Maybe someday it'll even find itself on my DVD shelf... right next to ATL.
Hammock: Pass. Oh, I can't pass? @$#&. ATM, you're suddenly looking like an Oscar-worthy flick. I'll be honest, I'm the kind of guy who likes the occasional chick flick, but this looks straight up like Bridget Jones' Diarrhea. Aside from the horrific title and the unintelligible plot, I don't think I can stand 90 minutes of Miley Cyrus. Usually, I stick up for tween stars. I can find good in Bieber and Selena, but there's something about Miss Cyrus I don't like. I think it's that she's a total ho-bag. "Oh she's just being Miley." Shut up, Leslie! The only redeeming part of this trailer is that at the 1:15 mark, the guy is playing guitar in front of one of the Dharma Initiative logos from Lost. Besides that, it was pure torture/ironic fun. So, does look like the worst movie ever? I'm nodding my head like "yeah," moving my hips like "yeah." What say you, Mr. Rabbitt?
Rabbitt: With the writer/director of LoL (the French version), this film promises to be… Sorry, I tried. This is the first time in my life I actually wished I was watching an episode of Punk’d. “LOL” is a remake of a European film, like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo… except there is no wildly successful international book series and instead of adding James Bond, they added Hannah Montana. The only thing more obnoxious than watching this trailer is that Miley is LOL-ing all the way to the bank for this garbage. SMH. Bt, Demi…WTF? You are an MTV movie award nominated actress; they don’t just hand those things out to anybody! I love the Dharma initiative reference. I just wish Drive Shaft was playing. Also, I feel like I’ve seen footage of Miley attemptingto summon the smoke monster before. IDK, maybe not. But hey, here’s to ending on a high note.
Neither David Hammock nor Stephan Rabbitt have met Channing Tatum but you can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
LOL: Laughing Out Loud
Hammock: Pass. Oh, I can't pass? @$#&. ATM, you're suddenly looking like an Oscar-worthy flick. I'll be honest, I'm the kind of guy who likes the occasional chick flick, but this looks straight up like Bridget Jones' Diarrhea. Aside from the horrific title and the unintelligible plot, I don't think I can stand 90 minutes of Miley Cyrus. Usually, I stick up for tween stars. I can find good in Bieber and Selena, but there's something about Miss Cyrus I don't like. I think it's that she's a total ho-bag. "Oh she's just being Miley." Shut up, Leslie! The only redeeming part of this trailer is that at the 1:15 mark, the guy is playing guitar in front of one of the Dharma Initiative logos from Lost. Besides that, it was pure torture/ironic fun. So, does look like the worst movie ever? I'm nodding my head like "yeah," moving my hips like "yeah." What say you, Mr. Rabbitt?
Rabbitt: With the writer/director of LoL (the French version), this film promises to be… Sorry, I tried. This is the first time in my life I actually wished I was watching an episode of Punk’d. “LOL” is a remake of a European film, like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo… except there is no wildly successful international book series and instead of adding James Bond, they added Hannah Montana. The only thing more obnoxious than watching this trailer is that Miley is LOL-ing all the way to the bank for this garbage. SMH. Bt, Demi…WTF? You are an MTV movie award nominated actress; they don’t just hand those things out to anybody! I love the Dharma initiative reference. I just wish Drive Shaft was playing. Also, I feel like I’ve seen footage of Miley attemptingto summon the smoke monster before. IDK, maybe not. But hey, here’s to ending on a high note.
Neither David Hammock nor Stephan Rabbitt have met Channing Tatum but you can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)