Black History Month Great Black Person #1 of 28

Black History Month Great Black Person #1 of 28:
MC Hammer

Some people like the daytime, some like nighttime, but my favorite part of the day is Hammer Time. Sure, sunrises and sunsets are nice, but Hammer Time is a time, uh, you can't touch. My my my mind has trouble grasping what life was like before MC Hammer introduced the world to Hammer Time. It must have been a very desolate place back then, full of people roaming around wondering what they could and could not touch. Lucky for us, Hammer recognized that dreary reality and saw the need to break it down. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh! Oh! Stop. Hammock time. Seriously though, MC Hammer is a hip/hop pioneer; he churned out catchy jams that transcended race and invented revolutionary dance moves that might have transcended race too if white people could dance a little better. No matter, Stanley "Hammer" Burrell is a role model who reminds us that we can do anything we put our minds to, whether that be singing, dancing, wearing parachute pants, becoming an ordained minister, or even declaring bankruptcy. So thanks for the memories Hammer... you're 2 legit 2 quit.

Hipster Santa 2012

Hipster Santa is back! Enjoy the 2012 edition, before it becomes popular and uncool.

Hurricane Naming Procedure

I feel bad for people who share their name with hurricanes. The poor men/women/Hall of Fame pitchers/Pink Ladies named Sandy probably feel terrible about having the same name as the recent fatal superstorm. Why do we even give hurricanes normal names? It's not a baby or even a pet; it's a natural disaster. I propose that a change be made in the hurricane naming procedure. We can still go down the alphabet, but we should name the storms something a little more heinous. Here are some suggestions for decidedly more evil names for future hurricanes:

Hurricane Autocorrect
Hurricane Brangelina
Hurricane Crocs
Hurricane Diet Pepsi
Hurricane Emo Kids
Hurricane Fried Okra
Hurricane Gigli
Hurricane Hitler
Hurricane Inside-Joke-You're-Not-A-Part-Of
Hurricane Jeter
Hurricane Kicked-in-the-Shin
Hurricane Loitering
Hurricane Misspellings
Hurricane Nicki Minaj
Hurricane Overcooked Steak
Hurricane Pre-season NFL Football
Hurricane Quantam Leap's Final Episode
Hurricane Root Canal
Hurricane Slavery
Hurricane Taxes
Hurricane Unnessecary Movie Sequels
Hurricane Voldemort
Hurricane WNBA
Hurricane X-Men 3
Hurricane YOLO
Hurricane Zipper Malfunctions